What did I do wrong?

[DubaiSis]

Sadly, this thread has been beat to death. The answer is the houses that you wanted didn't want you. Chances are they won't want you at any point in the future. There was a house that did want you but for whatever reason you didn't want to join. The members here know that not all sorority relationships start with emotional hearts and flowers and that these relationships can take time to build. However, you are not willing to hear any of this, so the point is moot. We can turn to snarkiness and tell you that you're great and they're byatches and the whole world is wrong except you, but what good would that do?

It is time for you to accept that you didn't pass go with the houses you wanted. So you either suck it up and accept the house that DID want you, or find something else on campus to be a part of.

Sororities are FRIENDSHIPS, not marriages. And even if it were like a marriage, it takes a lot of work to make it run smoothly. And lots of compromise. You're not willing to compromise, so that's that.

Please find a non-sorority group to be a part of.

[LouisaMay]

In recruitment threads (and in real life), we hear so much talk about "connections" and feeling like a girl really "clicks" with a chapter. These feelings are just that...feelings. Feelings are fickle, and only time can reveal true friendships. First impressions are really funny things. They don't tell you who is going to show up at your door with chocolate after a tough exam, who will lend you cute shoes in a pinch, who will cry with you when someone you love is hurting or sick, or who will never be more than a quick "hello" in the hallway. I can't help but think that we manufacture that feeling of "connection." It's not surprising that it isn't always mutual.

tifferini, it is always great to better yourself, but the results of recruitment don't reflect your true worth as a person (I know I've said this on GC before). You don't need to make yourself into "Greek material." Just do what you do. Enjoy your year, and when recruitment rolls around again, think about whether the sorority experience would be a good addition to your life at that time. If so, go through recruitment and see what happens. The thought of you cramming in extracurriculars, trying to meet the "right" women, and measuring yourself against the girls in letters makes me so sad Just enjoy your time and make some good memories. Maybe they will include sorority sisters in the future.

[OPhiAGinger]

Tifferini, from what I can read in your posts you did keep your mind open to the sororities that invited you back, even going so far as to attend the pref party of one that you didn't feel comfortable with. And in declining the bid you received, you exercised your side of the much ballyhooed mutual selection process. Kudos to you for not taking a spot away from a sister who was dreaming of joining that chapter!

I think you are wise to realize that the limitations imposed by formal recruitment really limited your exposure to all of the sororities, including the one that liked you so much. It's a great idea to get to know them over this next semester and then, if you feel like Greek Life is still something you want to pursue, you'll be much better equipped to give informal recruitment a try. Just keep LouisaMay's advice close to heart: don't try to make yourself into something you're not. Be yourself and have fun in college, whether it's in a GLO or in another type of organization.