Staying Over at my Boyfriend's Fraternity House

[GeekyPenguin]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by amazinglagirl
[B]

Originally posted by sugar and spice
Umm, hi, whose sex life is this again? Not yours? Okay, now that we've got that covered . . .


LOL...funny that the opinions telling her to "go for it" are totally supported,...but I state my opinion and it's "not my sex life"....

If she didn't care what people thought of her staying the night at a frat house, she wouldn't have posted her personal business on greekchat. Not everyone's opinion will be the same...just trying to throw in a different point of view from a girl who is still in college at a large southern school where this would NEVER be okay.

(Shacking at guys' apartments is one of those things that is ignored and overlooked,...but at my school...shacking at a frat house is a huge reputation issue for PNM and a standard's issue for members.)

Well since we have already ESTABLISHED that she goes to school in OHIO I doubt it would be an issue since we aren't trying to get into the Junior League here.

And thanks for attacking my morals, because that's always fun at 5:43 AM. One wonders what you're doing up. Perhaps you just came home from a late night so you wouldn't be shacking, just sneaking around in the middle of the night?

And where do you go to school and what house are you in?

-The Trashy Northern Alum

[KDbutterfly]

Originally posted by amazinglagirl

Sorry if I come off hostile....I'm just really passionate that somebody ought to give Catie some WISE advice instead of platitudes and dismissive permission to whore herself (or at least her reputation) out to this guy and the mind's of the guys in his collective fraternity! This is something she could potentially regret for years to come, and it's like BAD ADVICE DAY on Greek chat or something...

I don't think any advice given has been bad. Ultimately, this is her decision, and if she's going to make a decision solely based on what we think, well then she's got deeper problems. And by the way, having sex with your boyfriend is not whorish! It's whorish to sleep with a guy in a fraternity house after knowing him a night or something, but if this is her boyfriend, she is not a whore! Geez.

Listen to your heart, Catie. No one else really knows what is best for you but you. Sleeping with your boyfriend in his fraternity house is nothing to be ashamed about. I basically lived at my ex boyfriend's house for 6 months, and I had a great time getting to know the guys in his house. They respected me, and I'm still friends with many of them to this day. Do what you feel is right. As long as you are true to yourself, you'll never regret it.

[sugar and spice]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by amazinglagirl
[B]

Originally posted by sugar and spice


LOL...funny that the opinions telling her to "go for it" are totally supported,...but I state my opinion and it's "not my sex life"....

If she didn't care what people thought of her staying the night at a frat house, she wouldn't have posted her personal business on greekchat. Not everyone's opinion will be the same...just trying to throw in a different point of view from a girl who is still in college at a large southern school where this would NEVER be okay.

(Shacking at guys' apartments is one of those things that is ignored and overlooked,...but at my school...shacking at a frat house is a huge reputation issue for PNM and a standard's issue for members.)

Umm . . . she didn't ask for advice on whether or not she should be having premarital sex. She asked for advice on whether or not she should stay over at her boyfriend's frat house.

As stated, just because you don't agree with having sex before marriage -- especially in a frat house, because somehow doing it in an apartment is less sinful than in a fraternity house (someone explain this to me, please?) -- doesn't make it whorish, and to call someone names based on the fact that you don't agree with their behavior . . . well, not exactly classy.

[amazinglagirl]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin


And thanks for attacking my morals, because that's always fun at 5:43 AM. One wonders what you're doing up.

I suppose I missed where I attacked your "morals"....perhaps you felt my commetns revealed my opinion of your lackthereof...but I don't think I attacked anyone by stating that people's actions speak volumes to others about their moral and social character.

This is just a fact...however unpleasant it may be for you or anyone else, it is true whether you approve of it or not. Everyone has freedom of choice here...but it doesn't mean that you just run around doing whatever with the assurance that everyone is going to smile and nod and accept what you choose to do as "the norm" or "appropriate"...and that is the point I was trying to make with Catie. Your choices are yours to make...but there is almost always an upside and a downside...and you can't force people to see things your way....just as I do not expect that you will agree with my opinions that I express here.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by amazinglagirl
I suppose I missed where I attacked your "morals"....perhaps you felt my commetns revealed my opinion of your lackthereof...but I don't think I attacked anyone by stating that people's actions speak volumes to others about their moral and social character.

This is just a fact...however unpleasant it may be for you or anyone else, it is true whether you approve of it or not. Everyone has freedom of choice here...but it doesn't mean that you just run around doing whatever with the assurance that everyone is going to smile and nod and accept what you choose to do as "the norm" or "appropriate"...and that is the point I was trying to make with Catie. Your choices are yours to make...but there is almost always an upside and a downside...and you can't force people to see things your way....just as I do not expect that you will agree with my opinions that I express here.

I think your actions show that you're so insecure in your morals that you need to attack a girl for something she hasn't done yet. Telling her to be strong? Is she GIVING BIRTH? I don't care what some girl in some random house down South (maybe, since she won't admit it) thinks about my alleged sexual behavior during my active days. I don't care who shares a bed with who or what they do in it as long as it doesn't wake me up when I'm trying to sleep! The upside of that is I don't feel the need to attack someone because I'm worried she might have sex. There goes my crazy liberal viewpoints again....

[amazinglagirl]

Originally posted by sugar and spice
As stated, just because you don't agree with having sex before marriage -- especially in a frat house, because somehow doing it in an apartment is less sinful than in a fraternity house (someone explain this to me, please?) -- doesn't make it whorish, and to call someone names based on the fact that you don't agree with their behavior . . . well, not exactly classy.

Yes, I added that bit in parentheses about voting no even if he lived alone, simple because I wanted to avoid being accused of supporting ONE as A-Ok and classifying the other as sinful...was not even bringing up the topic of sin. Just a social value...I do NOT necessarily think that one is okay, and not the other...but I REALIZE THAT THIS WAS NOT THE ISSUE BEING RAISED so I was trying to limit it to the issue of the FRAT HOUSE which could damage her reputation.

And, for the record...I didn't say SHE was a whore...I said people on here are condoning this girl "whoring" herself out to this guy and the THOUGHTS of his frat brothers...meaning that they are likely to look at her in this way.

I feel like I need to keep repeating...THIS GIRL HAS BEEN DATING THIS GUY FOR SIX WEEKS.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by amazinglagirl
Yes, I added that bit in parentheses about voting no even if he lived alone, simple because I wanted to avoid being accused of supporting ONE as A-Ok and classifying the other as sinful...was not even bringing up the topic of sin. Just a social value...I do NOT necessarily think that one is okay, and not the other...but I REALIZE THAT THIS WAS NOT THE ISSUE BEING RAISED so I was trying to limit it to the issue of the FRAT HOUSE which could damage her reputation.

And, for the record...I didn't say SHE was a whore...I said people on here are condoning this girl "whoring" herself out to this guy and the THOUGHTS of his frat brothers...meaning that they are likely to look at her in this way.

I feel like I need to keep repeating...THIS GIRL HAS BEEN DATING THIS GUY FOR SIX WEEKS.

And I shared a room with my last boyfriend on the night of our very first date. We didn't have sex and we were together until he died. Is God going to strike me down now?

Can you tell me what house you're in and where? I'm still waiting.

[amazinglagirl]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
I don't care what some girl in some random house down South (maybe, since she won't admit it) thinks about my alleged sexual behavior during my active days. There goes my crazy liberal viewpoints again....

The odd thing to me is that strangely, you DO seem to care what I think. I am just posting one of many opinions on this board...and the strange thing to me is that you care very much what I think when it doesn't agree with you. You are "allowed" to do and say whatever it is you want...but if I express a contrary opinion, it is somehow "attacking" you because you don't have the same opinion.

And, I hope that opression of people's thoughts and opinions are not now the new definition for "liberal" or I might have to change my party affiliation....

[amazinglagirl]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
Can you tell me what house you're in and where? I'm still waiting.

Im at LSU, but if I wanted to discuss my house and my particular situation with you using this screenname, I would have addressed your question already. But thank you for your interest.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by amazinglagirl
The odd thing to me is that strangely, you DO seem to care what I think. I am just posting one of many opinions on this board...and the strange thing to me is that you care very much what I think when it doesn't agree with you. You are "allowed" to do and say whatever it is you want...but if I express a contrary opinion, it is somehow "attacking" you because you don't have the same opinion.

And, I hope that opression of people's thoughts and opinions are not now the new definition for "liberal" or I might have to change my party affiliation....

That's good, you'll fit in nicely with the anti-sex education crowd. I'm not attacking you. I don't like the fact that you assumed that just because she was sleeping at a fraternity house meant that she was engaging in sexual activity. Maybe they were just spooning.

Edited because we posted at the same time.

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
That's good, you'll fit in nicely with the anti-sex education crowd. I'm not attacking you. I don't like the fact that you assumed that just because she was sleeping at a fraternity house meant that she was engaging in sexual activity. Maybe they were just spooning.

I would just be spooning.

[damasa]

Originally posted by amazinglagirl


Sorry if I come off hostile....I'm just really passionate that somebody ought to give Catie some WISE advice instead of platitudes and dismissive permission to whore herself (or at least her reputation) out to this guy and the mind's of the guys in his collective fraternity! This is something she could potentially regret for years to come, and it's like BAD ADVICE DAY on Greek chat or something...

CATIE BE STRONG...if you decide to sleep with this guy, at least don't do it in the FRAT house!!!

You have a right to your opinion and nobody is disputing that.

But, don't attack the advice of others and claim it isn't "wise" simply because it doesn't agree with your moral standards, people live by different morals and standards. Don't discount those other opinions simply because you don't agree with them. Six weeks could be dating, simply because you have known people longer than that doesn't make you the ultimate power in saying so. Your life and experiences don't reflect those of others and certainly not those on this board.

There has been a lot of good advice on this thread and it has been "wise" as well. It is 2003 and times have changed quite a bit.

And yes, a man and a woman can share a bed without getting sexual. And no sex isn't going to be the only thing talked about, people will probably sleep believe it or not. I've spent many a night with a female in my bed without doing anything but that's my life and I'm not pushing that on anyone.

Again, you are entitled to your opinions and they are respected as long as you respect the opinions of others and quit discounting them as "unwise" because this holier-than-thou attitude doesn't work.

Now play nice kiddos, don't make me own you.

[Txsurfinwaves]

Wow....


This thread started out really well, with some great advice.

I must say to the senior members and moderators of GC, I dont think your morals are lacking at all. I think ya'll gave great advice to a girl who asked a simple question. I also believe you can spend the night with a guy and it not mean anything. My best friend is a guy, and he would do anything for me. We watch movies on my bed together (oh no!)..and we would never do anything physical together. On a side note, before the LSU girl attacks me for watching movies and him falling asleep on my bed with me..I will say this: Im a virgin who does not believe in premarital sex. Ive actually taken a vow before God in the Catholic Church for it. So, yes, you can be in the same bed with a guy and not do anything physical.

On another point, I am from a Southern school, in one of the most Southern states of all, Texas. (I went out with some ATO's and he told me he looks at the texas flag and thinks...damn straight. Haha...weirdo texans). We do have a rule in my Pi Phi chapter that no one is allowed to go on the 2nd floor of a fraternity house..even if you are just going to get something. They will give you a standards call, and I have seen it done before. Now..my friends down at A&M have slowly been changing the rules...and im glad that maybe we are outgrowing that Southern conformity that LSU girl seems to think we need to do.

On another side note....hehe. Junior League..i dont think thats around in Texas as much anymore. They have Cotillion and National Chairty League to pick up the slack for not having one.


And yes..this is 2003, not 1953, where on TV you had to have seperate beds because they did not want anything to imply they were having sex! *The kid just kinda popped out on I love Lucy I guess...* but i mean, really now.

I would like to reiterate that the girl asked what the brothers would feel..and never implied she was going to have sex. When did this become a moral issue anyway?

*I would advise you,amazinglagirl, as a junior member of GC not to attack a moderator...for when you attack one of the long-standing GC members, your not going to get alot of slack.*

[kddani]

Originally posted by amazinglagirl
Im at LSU, but if I wanted to discuss my house and my particular situation with you using this screenname, I would have addressed your question already. But thank you for your interest.

Great, so you're one of our multiple personality disorder GCers

If you believe so strongly in what you're saying and trying to advocate here, then you should have no problem expressing that on your real GC name. Using a fake name to do so shows cowardice and weakness in your belief. Obviously your convictions aren't that strong if you can only stand up for them under a pseudonym.

[ZTAngel]

I'm at a big Southern university and I'm part of a traditionally VERY southern sorority. We've had plently of girls who have spent the night at boyfriend's fraternity houses (and, yes, after 6 weels) and it's not looked down upon.
While maybe it might not be a good idea to this at LSU, it doesn't mean it's like that everywhere. I think Catie needs to see how conservative her school may be. She should also check with friends of hers in sororities and get their opinion.

PS:
She asked a simple question. It's really not worth the bickering or the headache. We've had far more controversial topics on GC that are more worth getting our panties in a twist than this thread. Thanks.