Time Cover

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Maybe it's just my ignorance, but I never understood why folks even concerned themselves with the breastfeeding habits of others. If it works for (general) you, then YOU do it. Don't worry about what Nancy Newmother is doing.

Because there are woman who think that anyone who was truly educated about the benefits of breastfeeding would never make any other choice.

Because there are women who think that women who are unsuccessful just didn't try hard enough or have access to enough information.

Because there are insecure women who need to have their every life choice validated by other people making the same choice. They are too insecure to allow other women to make different choices.

Ad nauseum...

[pbear19]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

FYP

Maybe it's just my ignorance, but I never understood why folks even concerned themselves with the breastfeeding habits of others. If it works for (general) you, then YOU do it. Don't worry about what Nancy Newmother is doing.

But then shouldn't this sentiment be applied to those who breastfeed their 3 year olds?

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by pbear19

But then shouldn't this sentiment be applied to those who breastfeed their 3 year olds?

I'm assuming this was meant as a general comment? I haven't commented on this current "issue," as I honestly don't care lol

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by pbear19

But then shouldn't this sentiment be applied to those who breastfeed their 3 year olds?

If a woman wants to breastfeed her three year old in the privacy of normal life, it's really none of my business. When she puts the poor kid on the cover of a national magazine with his mouth on her breast, then I think people have the freedom to criticize her choice.

[DrPhil]

Dr. Bill Sears of Attachment Parenting is on The View right now. You will be able to view it here in a few days.

I am always amused by the people (all over the Internet and in real life) who claim not to care about or judge parents for what they do with their children in the privacy of their own home. I keep hearing people (in real life) say "parents need to do what parents need to do...who are we to judge?" I have heard fools apply that to leaving a 3 year old child home alone while the parents are at work.

Sure, breastfeeding a child up to the age of 3 is not the end of the world so that is not the biggest issue. But, whether or not you care or judge about that is because of the topic of breastfeeding a toddler itself rather than the fact that the parents are doing that with their own children and in the comfort of their own home. There are other things that parents do with their own children in the comfort of their own home that you not only care about but judge and even want the law to step in.

[ASTalumna06]

Amen to this.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kriste...b_1510807.html

[DrPhil]

Sure, the battles of relatively privileged people who have enough time and resources to engage in Nipplegate is of little concern in the grander scheme of things.

Yes, there are parentless children and at-risk children.

However, I must call bullshit because it seems as though some people are missing the middle ground. Parentless children and at-risk (does the author care to share what "at-risk" means in this context?) children do not become as such by mysterious and unknown forces. They become as such because it matters what parents and adults-who-don't-deserve-to-be-called-parents (across demographic characteristics) do both inside and outside of the home. We all have topics that we care about regardless of its larger impact. People who claim not to care what parents do with their children are only saying that because it has yet to reach a level that they deem worthy of attention. And who is to say what that level is?

And, no, I do not assume that the mothers who are engaged in Nipplegate are all "competent mothers" as the author seems to think.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Sure, the battles of relatively privileged people who have enough time and resources to engage in Nipplegate is of little concern in the grander scheme of things.

Yes, there are parentless children and at-risk children.

However, I must call bullshit because it seems as though some people are missing the middle ground. Parentless children and at-risk (does the author care to share what "at-risk" means in this context?) children do not become as such by mysterious and unknown forces. They become as such because it matters what parents and adults-who-don't-deserve-to-be-called-parents (across demographic characteristics) do both inside and outside of the home. We all have topics that we care about regardless of its larger impact. People who claim not to care what parents do with their children are only saying that because it has yet to reach a level that they deem worthy of attention. And who is to say what that level is?

And, no, I do not assume that the mothers who are engaged in Nipplegate are all "competent mothers" as the author seems to think.

I think the whole point is that a competent mother who is raising their child as they see fit shouldn't be arguing with another competent mother about how she's raising her child. Let's be honest.. if you (general you) never breastfeed, and another mother yells at you for this, will you suddenly start breastfeeding?

As others in this thread have said, people get outraged over the wrong things. There could be legitimate reasons why a mother isn't breastfeeding.. or why one does longer than the average woman. Whatever the reasoning, it shouldn't be anyone else's business.

If you want to stand up and fight for anything, stand up and fight for something that's worth it. Because demanding that another parent raise their child in the exact same manner as you is ridiculous.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

I think the whole point is that a competent mother who is raising their child as they see fit shouldn't be arguing with another competent mother about how she's raising her child.

What is this assessment of competency based on?

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Because demanding that another parent raise their child in the exact same manner as you is ridiculous.

I agree if we are talking about Nipplegate for children under the age of 5.

In a larger sense, which is what my post is talking about in response to that author's assessment of what "really matters", let us get rid of some of these norms and laws. We should not be able to tell a parent that things such as leaving a 5 year old child home alone while they are at work is problematic. I have actually had arguments with people about this. It is amazing how far people go to not only defend parent rights but to defend the diversity of parenting practices. "Parents have to do what we have to do...don't judge because there is no right and wrong."

[DrPhil]

Tonight's Dr. Drew on HLN made me think of the Time Cover and this thread.

A woman was arrested for breast feeding her son when she was on (medical) marijuana. Women are calling and talking about how they use drugs and how it affected their children. One woman had the nerve to say "I have used drugs for years and it never impacted my kids...this woman made the mistake of breastfeeding while on marijuana."

The woman who was arrested is on Dr. Drew now. She is breastfeeding while on the show. Dr. Drew said "you're breastfeeding now...I need to make sure you are not also using marijuana." She said something to the effect of "yeah I am breastfeeding" and Dr. Drew responded with "yeah...but are you using marijuana? I need to know...."

Breastfeeding is what it is but I really do not want to see it when I am not expecting to see it. It's just like many body parts and actions that are NOT inherently BAD but they also don't need to be "forced" upon us.

[christiangirl]

Wait a minute. When you said she was breastfeeding on the show, you mean LITERALLY while the camera was on her?

[PiKA2001]

What's up with the breastfeeding frenzy going on lately? I've noticed commercials, magazine covers, and print ads everywhere promoting breastfeeding the last couple of months or so.

[pbear19]

Originally Posted by PiKA2001

What's up with the breastfeeding frenzy going on lately? I've noticed commercials, magazine covers, and print ads everywhere promoting breastfeeding the last couple of months or so.

I believe it is a bit of backlash, although the backlash is getting way more press than the original issues did. Over the past year or so there have been a large number of incidents of women who were discreetly breastfeeding in public and were kicked out of the store/restaurant/whatever that they were in, with virtually no apologies from the associated corporate offices. Those incidents got a lot of press in the "breastfeeding community," if you will, but not much elsewhere.

And when I say discreetly breastfeeding, I mean that they were completely covered up and nothing at all could be seen, yet the women were kicked out. In at least two of the incidents I can recall off the top of my head, an employee at the respective store/restaurant threatened to call the police. In one incident, the police said they would have arrested the woman, in spite of the law in that state that allows public breastfeeding.

So, if you ask me, a few too many moms got mad about being treated like criminals for feeding their kids, and a "breastfeeding is beautiful" type movement has been the response.

[PiKA2001]

Originally Posted by pbear19

I believe it is a bit of backlash, although the backlash is getting way more press than the original issues did. Over the past year or so there have been a large number of incidents of women who were discreetly breastfeeding in public and were kicked out of the store/restaurant/whatever that they were in, with virtually no apologies from the associated corporate offices. Those incidents got a lot of press in the "breastfeeding community," if you will, but not much elsewhere.

And when I say discreetly breastfeeding, I mean that they were completely covered up and nothing at all could be seen, yet the women were kicked out. In at least two of the incidents I can recall off the top of my head, an employee at the respective store/restaurant threatened to call the police. In one incident, the police said they would have arrested the woman, in spite of the law in that state that allows public breastfeeding.

So, if you ask me, a few too many moms got mad about being treated like criminals for feeding their kids, and a "breastfeeding is beautiful" type movement has been the response.

I see. I hadn't heard about those women getting kicked out of establishments for breastfeeding. Thanks for the schooling.

[Munchkin03]

Also, it's the 20th anniversary of the publication of this book about Attachment Parenting--it's the first instance in which that term was used. AP is about way more than breastfeeding--babywearing, bedsharing, and natural unmedicated childbirth are just part of it. It's all about increasing the attachment between parent (usually mother) and child.

AP obviously has its critics. One of the primary supporters of AP--she helped write several books about it and has been known as an AP expert recently "came out" about her son's drug addiction (from which he eventually died), and that kind of opened the floodgates about whether or not AP is such a good idea--regardless of the fact that teen drug use can happen to anyone.

Elizabeth Badinter just wrote a book about how that kind of attachment isn't good for the kids, it's not good for the marriage, and it's not good for the mother's well-being, especially if she's trying to develop some sort of a career.

I think a lot of it's that the kids who were first parented like this are coming of age and the question is about whether or not it works.