How Moms Should Treat Their Legacy Daughters

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by Gusteau

When I read the term "super legacy" I couldn't stop laughing. We had a kid last fall who we referred to as "super legacy," in fact I'm pretty sure most of the chapter didn't even know his name and only knew him by "super legacy."

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's SUPER LEGACY!!!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

If I remember correctly, there has been discussion on GC of sororities implementing a "Super Legacy" (like some more selective colleges do) system at some of the schools where there are more legacies than 2nd round invites. The Super Legacy = the child of a more involved alumna. She would receive a higher level courtesy than a lesser involved one.

Here's the thread I think it was in:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...t=Super+Legacy

J, that's the one I thought it was too but then I read it and it wasn't. The one I was thinking of had one of the ADPis commenting on it. Honeychile might remember.

The problems about this concept are so many, though. Who gets the nod between 1) daughter of mom who worked with the chapter and volunteered nationally for 30 years or 2) daughter of Monica Millionaire who never did anything as far as volunteering since she was busy with her work, but who donated $750,000 to the chapter to build a new house. Or what about the rushee whose mom hasn't done any volunteering because mom died when rushee was 6 years old.

With carnation's scenario above - again, back to college choice. Mom knows it's harder to get into Harvard than it is Booboo State. Why on earth would she believe that a school that differs from hers in so many aspects (not to mention the addition of 25-30 years) would have the same sort of rush?

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by 33girl

J, that's the one I thought it was too but then I read it and it wasn't. The one I was thinking of had one of the ADPis commenting on it. Honeychile might remember.

The problems about this concept are so many, though. Who gets the nod between 1) daughter of mom who worked with the chapter and volunteered nationally for 30 years or 2) daughter of Monica Millionaire who never did anything as far as volunteering since she was busy with her work, but who donated $750,000 to the chapter to build a new house. Or what about the rushee whose mom hasn't done any volunteering because mom died when rushee was 6 years old.

With carnation's scenario above - again, back to college choice. Mom knows it's harder to get into Harvard than it is Booboo State. Why on earth would she believe that a school that differs from hers in so many aspects (not to mention the addition of 25-30 years) would have the same sort of rush?

Because there are many EXTREMELY COMPETITIVE Northern schools that have extremely NON-competitive rush. Some of those schools, where legacies do get a significant consideration, are top schools. They are much more alike - in non-Greek aspects - than one who is focusing on recruitment may see.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Because there are many EXTREMELY COMPETITIVE Northern schools that have extremely NON-competitive rush. Some of those schools, where legacies do get a significant consideration, are top schools. They are much more alike - in non-Greek aspects - than one who is focusing on recruitment may see.

What she said!! in addition to so many individual factors that go into the whole equation that I could never enumerate them. Human nature is what it is.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Because there are many EXTREMELY COMPETITIVE Northern schools that have extremely NON-competitive rush. Some of those schools, where legacies do get a significant consideration, are top schools. They are much more alike - in non-Greek aspects - than one who is focusing on recruitment may see.

Yes, I know that. It's probably far easier to get into KKG at Yale than it is at LSU. While those may both be top schools as far as academics, the cultures of the two schools are very different, so why on earth would anyone think that rush is the same? That works both ways - if you went to LSU, why would you think that rush at Yale was the same as your experience?

The same could apply to housing, prominence of athletics, etc. Parents and kids are cautioned to check out all these other factors when choosing a school as they're so different from place to place. The Greek system (and its degree of competitiveness) should be another factor.

[carnation]

I believe with all my heart that if some parent came onto GC saying that they had checked out the competitiveness of the Greek system of a school, they would be flamed into oblivion.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by 33girl

J, that's the one I thought it was too but then I read it and it wasn't. The one I was thinking of had one of the ADPis commenting on it. Honeychile might remember.

The problems about this concept are so many, though. Who gets the nod between 1) daughter of mom who worked with the chapter and volunteered nationally for 30 years or 2) daughter of Monica Millionaire who never did anything as far as volunteering since she was busy with her work, but who donated $750,000 to the chapter to build a new house. Or what about the rushee whose mom hasn't done any volunteering because mom died when rushee was 6 years old.

With carnation's scenario above - again, back to college choice. Mom knows it's harder to get into Harvard than it is Booboo State. Why on earth would she believe that a school that differs from hers in so many aspects (not to mention the addition of 25-30 years) would have the same sort of rush?

Without getting into any specifics about membership selection and just speaking theoretically, this already goes on at many chapters of large inter/national groups at super competitive schools. Let's face it. All legacies are not created equal. I think at this point in time it is still pretty easy to determine which legacies are "more equal." Mom, nanna, whoever is either involved or not, whether than involvement is with the chapter, alumnae group, financial, a combination of those or whatever. (Laura Legacy's mom hasn't paid dues since 1972 versus Lana Legacy's mom who served as president of her local ac for 10 years, still helps with recruitment at her local chapter and donated to the fund to rennovate that house.) I think if things continue to go on the same trajectory, eventually groups are going to have to come up with their own standardized objective way of evaluating a legacy's "value."

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

Without getting into any specifics about membership selection and just speaking theoretically, this already goes on at many chapters of large inter/national groups at super competitive schools. Let's face it. All legacies are not created equal. I think at this point in time it is still pretty easy to determine which legacies are "more equal." Mom, nanna, whoever is either involved or not, whether than involvement is with the chapter, alumnae group, financial, a combination of those or whatever. (Laura Legacy's mom hasn't paid dues since 1972 versus Lana Legacy's mom who served as president of her local ac for 10 years, still helps with recruitment at her local chapter and donated to the fund to rennovate that house.) I think if things continue to go on the same trajectory, eventually groups are going to have to come up with their own standardized objective way of evaluating a legacy's "value."

And, I think it's important to note that this is only an issue a small number of chapters. The number of schools across the country who have this as a problem is really quite small. However, it is a very big issue at the schools that do have this problem.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by AGDee

And, I think it's important to note that this is only an issue a small number of chapters. The number of schools across the country who have this as a problem is really quite small. However, it is a very big issue at the schools that do have this problem.

Yes, but the problem is only going to get bigger and more widespread as time goes on, so I think it's worth discussing for the future.

[phimusam]

One SEC Panhellenic sent a letter to the PNMs explaining that some sororities had many more legacies than openings. I know the school and don't doubt it.

I would never send a daughter to recruitment with any suggestion except that she look carefully at my sorority but also look for the place where she will find sisters that will help her to grow to be the best she can be.

[carnation]

Thinking about this today:

Here is a scenario that I see a LOT. Family lives near a small or medium-sized college. Mom works with her sorority chapter there for years and years. Daughter rushes, say, in the SEC--maybe 1 state away--and gets cut by her legacy chapter. Mom and daughter are devastated. In this case, it's almost never that the daughter was cut because she was a bad fit or had low grades, etc.; it's that the chapter had tons of girls they had to cut and this girl was less "known" because she was an out of stater. She's probably stellar but so are hundreds of other girls.

Mom is in shock; she knew that legacies don't have an automatic 'in' but they're very strongly considered at the college whose chapter she helps and most of them get in. Only the obvious "no ways" are released. Her college's Panhellenic booklet has the same warning that daughter's school does but still, most legacies do get in their legacy chapter.

It takes both women awhile to get over this. This is not a "precious snowflake" situation but rather one in which there is shocked and understandable hurt.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by carnation

Thinking about this today:

Here is a scenario that I see a LOT. Family lives near a small or medium-sized college. Mom works with her sorority chapter there for years and years. Daughter rushes, say, in the SEC--maybe 1 state away--and gets cut by her legacy chapter. Mom and daughter are devastated. In this case, it's almost never that the daughter was cut because she was a bad fit or had low grades, etc.; it's that the chapter had tons of girls they had to cut and this girl was less "known" because she was an out of stater. She's probably stellar but so are hundreds of other girls.

Mom is in shock; she knew that legacies don't have an automatic 'in' but they're very strongly considered at the college whose chapter she helps and most of them get in. Only the obvious "no ways" are released. Her college's Panhellenic booklet has the same warning that daughter's school does but still, most legacies do get in their legacy chapter.

It takes both women awhile to get over this. This is not a "precious snowflake" situation but rather one in which there is shocked and understandable hurt.

^^^That's a situation that happens often with girls who leave Ohio to go to more competitive schools.

Mom is from/helps out at teeny tiny Ohio school where her chapter typically gets like 2 legacies a year. Unless they're heinous, they get bids.

Daughter leaves Ohio for say, Bama. She doesn't even make it past first round. Mom is puzzled.

[KSUViolet06]

No it's that one (pretty sure), the discussion starts on page 4:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...t=32789&page=4

[SWTXBelle]

Does that mean my daughters are Panhellenic Super Legacies because of all my Alumnae Panhellenic work? (It's a joke, btw)

[gee_ess]

The issue of Super Legacies already comes up in recommendation letters. Often, a PNm is described as "the daughter of Kathy Kappa who was the chapter president in 1963 and still volunteers heavily in local alum chapter." It is another way to sell that pnm to describe the level of commitment that her alum connection has.

Regarding the legacy daughter mentioned in the OP: I can relate to the mom's statement, sort of. We are huge Razorback fans, generations of us have graduated from there. Our girls were not raised in Arkansas but have always known what an important role our alma mater plays in our lives. In fact, when they were asked by friends what college they planned to attend, the answer was "My dad says our scholarship is only good at the U of Arkansas." (Of course, the scholarship was dear old mom and dad, not an outside source). It was a joke, but hopefully no one was scandalized by the answer.

And when it came time for recruitment, yes, I told her all of the stuff I preach about on here because I really wanted her to be Greek, first and foremost. However, when it came down to pref night and it was between KKG and another house, I admit it, I threw all of that "go where you want" crap out the window. I wanted her to be a kappa. Nothing else.

Something happens to you when it is your daughter, at your alma mater, at your home chapter. Trust me. And it isn't always pretty.