Regrets

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by tornup

So just to update everyone who was so helpful with their thoughts and suggestions. I tried talking with my chapter but was met with a big giant steel wall, so i called HQ just to ask questions and find out what the options were. The woman i talked to was incredibly nice and I also found out that a LOT more things that we do are not approved by HQ so it was very much an eye opener. Hopefully with new information I can try talking to my chapter again and push for change. Wish me Luck

How did your HQ react to what you say has been going on?

I only ask because I would *think* that if a HQ heard that their StateU chapter was doing things that were risk management issues, they would get in touch with someone closer (like a regional officer) to get with the chapter and figure things out.

I guess I'm just surprised that it sounds like your HQ is saying, "good luck!" to you after hearing one of their chapters is participating in activites that are not approved by HQ

[tornup]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

How did your HQ react to what you say has been going on?

I only ask because I would *think* that if a HQ heard that their StateU chapter was doing things that were risk management issues, they would get in touch with someone closer (like a regional officer) to get with the chapter and figure things out.

I guess I'm just surprised that it sounds like your HQ is saying, "good luck!" to you after hearing one of their chapters is participating in activites that are not approved by HQ

Nooo they definitely reacted, the person I called is in charge of my region and they will be doing something she just couldn't tell me what exactly right away with out talking it over with her supervisor. I just didn't want to give out to much info since it is the internet. But it was definitely not just like "god speed and good luck" Hope that clarifies. . . If you want more detail you could always PM me.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

How did your HQ react to what you say has been going on?

I only ask because I would *think* that if a HQ heard that their StateU chapter was doing things that were risk management issues, they would get in touch with someone closer (like a regional officer) to get with the chapter and figure things out.

I guess I'm just surprised that it sounds like your HQ is saying, "good luck!" to you after hearing one of their chapters is participating in activites that are not approved by HQ

Like I said before, I don't think from the way the OP describes it or the things she says that hazing or RM are issues here. if the problems were that horrible, unless the HQ is thousands of miles away, never sends traveling consultants and requires no chapter accountability whatsoever, a relatively recent initiate isn't telling them anything they don't know.

[tornup]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Like I said before, I don't think from the way the OP describes it or the things she says that hazing or RM are issues here. if the problems were that horrible, unless the HQ is thousands of miles away, never sends traveling consultants and requires no chapter accountability whatsoever, a relatively recent initiate isn't telling them anything they don't know.

I'm not sure i can really respond to your post with out giving away specific info but you are entitled to you opinion and I mine. Also according to my sororities policies and constitution the things going on are not sanctioned or approved by nationals, this was confirmed by my conversation with HQ.

[33girl]

I'm not saying that what is going on isn't a RM issue - I'm saying your posts don't read that way to me. I know you want to not give away a lot of details, but comparing it w/ people who have come on here worried about hazing or drinking or such, it's just written differently.

[confused_girl]

Your situation sounds like what I went through with the sorority I joined. I have since left them, and there is a new sorority on campus. Sadly however, it appears as though I'll never be able to join the new one (which i like so much better than the one I joined when it was the only option on campus). I regret not waiting a bit before pledging... seeing as the next year we got the new sorority.

I officially turned in my paperwork and disolved my membership with the sorority. I dont know if this changes the rules as to if i can join another one, but i dont believe it does. I dont think that is fair. I was decieved into believing that the sorority i was joining was this amazing organization, and i'm sure the national part of it is, but the girls i joined were horrible. I feel almost punished by the fact that now that I have left them, I'll never be allowed to have a sisterhood with a better group. it's not as thought I left sorority A so i could join sorority B... i've just recenty been realizing that sorority B is much better.

[1Hand1Heart]

Originally Posted by confused_girl

Your situation sounds like what I went through with the sorority I joined. I have since left them, and there is a new sorority on campus. Sadly however, it appears as though I'll never be able to join the new one (which i like so much better than the one I joined when it was the only option on campus). I regret not waiting a bit before pledging... seeing as the next year we got the new sorority.

I officially turned in my paperwork and disolved my membership with the sorority. I dont know if this changes the rules as to if i can join another one, but i dont believe it does. I dont think that is fair. I was decieved into believing that the sorority i was joining was this amazing organization, and i'm sure the national part of it is, but the girls i joined were horrible. I feel almost punished by the fact that now that I have left them, I'll never be allowed to have a sisterhood with a better group. it's not as thought I left sorority A so i could join sorority B... i've just recenty been realizing that sorority B is much better.

It's a good thing you are not allowed to join another NPC. If you are willing to drop an organization after taking an oath to uphold its principles-what's to say Sorority B would make you stick around?

Because I believe in treating all of my Panhellenic sisters with respect-even if you COULD join another organization and it happened to be mine, I would be VERY AGAINST it. Every organization has their bad apples but, you make it sound as though you just joined Sorority A because "hey, they were the only ones on campus-and I wanted to wear letters"...if there was no actual HAZING going on-and you dropped them, knowing you would also be dropping the NATIONAL or INTERNATIONAL headquarters-then you don't deserve membership in ANY NPC.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by confused_girl

Your situation sounds like what I went through with the sorority I joined. I have since left them, and there is a new sorority on campus. Sadly however, it appears as though I'll never be able to join the new one (which i like so much better than the one I joined when it was the only option on campus). I regret not waiting a bit before pledging... seeing as the next year we got the new sorority.

I officially turned in my paperwork and disolved my membership with the sorority. I dont know if this changes the rules as to if i can join another one, but i dont believe it does.

It doesn't "appear" as though you won't be able to join. YOU CAN'T.

It doesn't change the rules if you turned in your paperwork. YOU CAN'T.

Posting the same thing in a different thread doesn't give you a different answer.

And yeah, even if you wanted to join sorority B, doesn't mean they would want you to join.

[confused_girl]

Originally Posted by 1Hand1Heart

It's a good thing you are not allowed to join another NPC. If you are willing to drop an organization after taking an oath to uphold its principles-what's to say Sorority B would make you stick around?

Because I believe in treating all of my Panhellenic sisters with respect-even if you COULD join another organization and it happened to be mine, I would be VERY AGAINST it. Every organization has their bad apples but, you make it sound as though you just joined Sorority A because "hey, they were the only ones on campus-and I wanted to wear letters"...if there was no actual HAZING going on-and you dropped them, knowing you would also be dropping the NATIONAL or INTERNATIONAL headquarters-then you don't deserve membership in ANY NPC.

I did not just join Sorority A so that I could wear letters. I stuck with sorority A for over a year, attempting to help change things, and hoping things would get better, but you know what? All that happened was that my depression returned, and i took up my self injury again. Now i figure you're going to call me clinically insane or something, and continue to insult me, and go ahead. You dont know me, and you dont know what I went through. I didnt run the first time something went wrong, and it was a terribly difficult decision for me to leave, but at the point where being with them was driving me to harm myself? enough was enough.

Thank you for your response, no matter how rude it was. I can assure you though, that I wouldn't want to join your group after how you treated me.

Have a wonderful day.

[confused_girl]

Originally Posted by 33girl

It doesn't "appear" as though you won't be able to join. YOU CAN'T.

It doesn't change the rules if you turned in your paperwork. YOU CAN'T.

Posting the same thing in a different thread doesn't give you a different answer.

And yeah, even if you wanted to join sorority B, doesn't mean they would want you to join.

Thank you for your harshly worded rejection. I am aware that I CAN'T! I simply used the term 'appears' because it sounds less negative. I wasnt looking for a different answer, I was simply trying to share with the OP that she is not alone in her situation, and that potentially I handled it the wrong way, however I still feel that for my health, I did was was necessary.

A couple of simple posts on here and people are ripping me to shreds, perhaps it's best i'm no longer part of you guys. I truly hope you are not the example of your organizations.

[Kansas City]

confused girl - I think that your situation and the OPs situation are totally different. Your situation seems to involve your personal interactions with the members of a chapter while the OPs situation seems to be the chapter’s refusal to be governed by HQ. I'm sorry that you did not have a good experience but you must learn to live with the decisions that you make weather they be to join a group or to sever ties with same group.

[33girl]

I'm sorry if you thought I was being harsh, however, it happens all the time on this site that a poster posts something, doesn't like the answer he/she receives, and then goes on to post it elsewhere. It's incredibly frustrating to the people who gave the advice the first time around and to everyone else.

Also, it is considered bad form to "hijack" another person's thread with a totally different situation.

I'm sorry you had mental issues but blaming the sorority for their re-occurrence is unfair. A sorority is not a therapy group. If you have issues you need to get professional help.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by confused_girl

I did not just join Sorority A so that I could wear letters. I stuck with sorority A for over a year, attempting to help change things, and hoping things would get better, but you know what? All that happened was that my depression returned, and i took up my self injury again. Now i figure you're going to call me clinically insane or something, and continue to insult me, and go ahead. You dont know me, and you dont know what I went through. I didnt run the first time something went wrong, and it was a terribly difficult decision for me to leave, but at the point where being with them was driving me to harm myself? enough was enough.

Thank you for your response, no matter how rude it was. I can assure you though, that I wouldn't want to join your group after how you treated me.

Have a wonderful day.

You cannot blame a sorority for your self-injury issues. Sorority members are not licensed clinicians and aren't really skilled in dealing with deppression issues. If you were self-injuring, you needed to seek professional felp.

[1914blue1920]

Constitution should be followed, period. Do you all have a nationals or someone to report your chapter to? If they dont want to change the wrong , its not fair to you all that want to follow the rules and stuff. Can you vote to get a new advisor?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by 1914blue1920

Constitution should be followed, period. Do you all have a nationals or someone to report your chapter to? If they dont want to change the wrong , its not fair to you all that want to follow the rules and stuff. Can you vote to get a new advisor?

The problem is that the OP is apparently the only one who wants things to change - including the advisor.