Didn't get invites, what are my options?

Originally Posted by pinkyphimu

WOW... back off the girl. You may not like spelling mistakes, but it is really inappropriate to tel her that she may have been dropped from recruitment because she spells things wrong on a message board.

To the OP...sorry you are upset. We really truly can't tell you what your options are and whether or not it is highly likely you will have a chance to receive a bid in the future. There are already a few posts with some good advice. Good luck.

Oh please.

Her spelling errors all over the damn thread suggested that she really doesn't know how to spell...and that may have been reflected in her recruitment applications, etc. Several of the women here are collegiate advisors, so any rush documents would raise red flags, I'd imagine. No one said that she was dropped because she was too lazy to use spellcheck on GreekChat.

To the OP, instead of wondering "what if", just take things one day at a time. Do you know for sure you'll be engaged come recruitment time next year? Because you know exactly when your BF will pop the question, right? That's what I thought.

We could say that we don't care if a PNM is engaged, but the UTC sororities may think otherwise. WE CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT SORORITIES THINK ABOUT ENGAGED PNMs BECAUSE ALL CHAPTERS ARE DIFFERENT.

[utcutie315]

Okay. I know that my recruitment application did not have spelling mistakes. I checked it and also a co-worker checked it. I’m pretty sure my application is not the reason I did not get an invite. A few spelling mistakes on a chat forum is in no way a reflection of how I write or type for more important things. I only came on here for reassurance that there are still options. Not to be in a spelling class. Thanks for your time (or waste of it). You make me not want to be in a sorority. If I have to put up with people that are willing to argue on a chat forum about spelling errors on the internet, I don't think that is where I need to be. I'm pretty sure that my spelling errors on this site will no way reflect what kind of person I am in recruitment. Thank you pinkyphimu for taking up for me, I really appreciate your support. Also, thank you to the others that helped to make me feel a little better. You have no idea how much you actually helped. Thanks again!!!

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by utcutie315

I only came on here for reassurance that there are still options.

All posts about spelling aside, unfortunately we cannot promise you that "there are still options". We don't know what went wrong, and neither do you. We also don't know if bringing up your GPA or rushing as a junior or being married or anything will help or hurt you.

It would be wrong for us to give you false hope, because we don't know what happened.

[fantASTic]

See....we aren't trying to be mean. We are seriously just saying that when you have sorority members AT YOUR SCHOOL reading your posts. And just FYI, it is easy to find out who someone is. I'm sorry that you think that spelling doesn't matter, but if you were rushing my school and typed like this, I WOULD find out who you were and may hold it against you. We are very honestly trying to make sure that you don't screw yourself over because you think you're anonymous.

And why do you keep doing that font thing? It's irritating. Good try, though.

[utcutie315]

Also, I do know when my bf will pop the question. Not the exact day but it will be before next fall. He was waiting to ask me after I received a bid and got into a sorority so that I would get to be a part of the ceremonies and etc that sororities have. We’ve even talked about when we would like to get married. I just asked so that would know what sororities usually think about when a girl is engaged or married. I don’t think my relationship is your expertise.

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by utcutie315

He was waiting to ask me after I received a bid and got into a sorority so that I would get to be a part of the ceremonies and etc that sororities have.

Whoa. That is hinging entirely too much on the unknown result of a variable process, you set your expectations way too high and counted on a positive result for way too much, that's part of why you're so upset. You have to be able to let it go and move on, greek life doesn't happen for everyone. It just doesn't.

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

Whoa. That is hinging entirely too much on the unknown result of a variable process, you set your expectations way too high and counted on a positive result for way too much, that's part of why you're so upset. You have to be able to let it go and move on, greek life doesn't happen for everyone. It just doesn't.

Co-sign

[EE-BO]

Originally Posted by utcutie315

Also, I do know when my bf will pop the question. Not the exact day but it will be before next fall. He was waiting to ask me after I received a bid and got into a sorority so that I would get to be a part of the ceremonies and etc that sororities have.

This and a subsequent post where you mention your boyfriend is in a fraternity is what made me feel clearer in my mind about the bottom line here.

I do not know you or your situation, but the whole point of posting in a place like GC is to get an honest take from total strangers about the facts you present. This can be a good thing, and I hope what I have to say is helpful.

Taking into account all the information you presented and the reactions you received- plus the nature of your responses- my advice to you would be to seriously consider why you personally want to join a sorority, when that desire arose and why it arose. Also consider whether you maybe were always interested, but might have become more interested in recent times.

These are hard questions- and I apologize for what they imply without my knowing if I am headed down the right path (the downside of asking strangers.) But I do hope answering them will help you- regardless of the final outcome.

Best of luck to you.

[utcutie315]

I'm not sure what font thing. I'm just using the quick reply box at the bottom of the screen.

[fantASTic]

Strange. It didn't do it in that post..well, whatever.

And congrats on the getting married thing

[Lightning Bug!]

utcutie315...no one here wishes you any ill, but you seem to be getting frustrated with use because we can't give you any reassurance that there are still options. We have made some suggestions, but frankly we can't tell you much beyond that -- I did my best in my first post. You seem to have a lot going on in your life, a lot that has just happened, and it kind of sounds to me, at least, like you should be focusing on your grades and your upcoming engagement...both of which are very serious life matters that are more important than joining a sorority. Obviously we are not trying to tell you what to do with your life, but you did ask, and since you asked, I'm giving you my honest opinion. Once you've settled down from the horrible ordeal you went through with your mother and once you've gotten your grades up, then might be a good time to see what your sorority options are. But you seem to be older, and moving on to a more serious part of your life...engagement and marriage are really a big deal, and you should keep in mind that these are the kinds of things most sorority women grapple with at the END of their time as active members, not at the beginning. You may find that if you do end up pledging at some point, you feel very alienated from your pledge class, most of whom will be 18 and still thinking about their high school sweethearts. In any case, we aren't going to encourage you or give you false hopes just because that's what you want to hear. We did try to help, and we are sorry that the answers weren't satisfactory. We all wish you the best of luck.

[irishpipes]

Although recruitment is billed as a mutual selection process, the balance of power is tipped in favor of the sorority since a PNM can't join a chapter without their invitation. You went through the process, and unfortunately weren't issued an invitation to join a chapter on your campus. Since it could be a situation where you slipped through the cracks, I would contact the Greek Life Office about COB. If that doesn't work out, I would drop it and move on. It could be that you just don't happen to be a fit for the 4 chapters at your campus. We will never know. In any case, once you have given them 2 opportunities to invite you to membership and they haven't chosen to do so, you will know their position on bidding you.

There are lots of people who believe that they would be an asset to a sorority, but unless they can get a group of 18-21 year-olds to believe that, it is a moot point. I know that's a tough pill to swallow, but it's the truth of it. The chapter members get to issue the bids, and if they won't issue one to you, you really have no options. Sorry that sounds so harsh. It sounds like you have been through a lot and fortunately you have a support system in your boyfriend. Best of luck.

[phimusam]

I am guessing that the university can set policy and that the sorority can either accept the policy or leave. I know that Auburn has a 3.0 policy and that sororities can set a higher bar if they so choose. Some chapters of my sorority have a 3.5 bar.

[Titchou]

I'm sorry my post caused such an uproar. My thinking was that if her grades were as she said and her spoken grammar similar to her written ("there was only 367" not "there were"), then that could have been the part of the problem. With a 2.5 required and having to make grades due to semester long new member period, I can understand some chapters releasing her. She needs an honest assessment by the Greek Adviser as to her chances. We can't tell her much beyond the obvious.

[NutBrnHair]

Bid Day was today at UT-Chattanooga. I'm not sure what quota was, but Chi Omega has 54 new members.