Frustrations with Rec's

[SWTXBelle]

Also, you don't always know if you HAVE a rec or not. Once you register with your college Panhellenic, those chapters which have to have recs often have alumnae who solicit them - and they can get them without the rushee's (PNM) knowledge. So, your friends (or you, f or that matter) may well have had an information only rec that you didn't know about.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by OrangeJuice

In fact, I remember what one of my gamma chis said when someone in my group asked about recs:
"Sometimes they can help, but you really don't need one." I was one of only a few in my rush group that came in with recs.

As for sororities that have a national rule that they can only pledge women who have recs... I don't know. I'm not sure of any of the official rules. But I know people (some in large, prestigious houses) who came in knowing nothing about the Greek system, much less about getting recs. I know people in these houses here who didn't have recs for the house they ended up in:
1. Pi Beta Phi
2. Alpha Omicron Pi
3. Delta Gamma
4. Kappa Alpha Theta
5. Sigma Kappa
6. Phi Mu
7. AE Phi
8. SDT
9. Delta Zeta
10. ADPi
11. Alpha Phi
12. Tridelts

There are probably more. Those are just the ones I know for sure. I'm really not trying to start a fight or anything. I'm just saying what happens at my school. Or course, this sort of thing varies from school to school. And of course, it wouldn't hurt. I'm just saying recs may not be the be all and end all of recruitment at her school.

You are drawing a conclusion that you really can't draw. Just because the girl didn't line up her rec for those houses doesn't mean she didn't have one.

A lot of groups have people who they requests recs from based on sharing a home town with the PNM.

Sure, it points out that the group really will secure a rec for you if they want you bad enough, but it also means that you can't conclude that just because the girl didn't ask for a rec that she didn't have one.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Also, you don't always know if you HAVE a rec or not. Once you register with your college Panhellenic, those chapters which have to have recs often have alumnae who solicit them - and they can get them without the rushee's (PNM) knowledge. So, your friends (or you, f or that matter) may well have had an information only rec that you didn't know about.

Good point.

Like I've said before in this situation - if you end up preffing at one of those sororities that HAS to have a rec to bid a girl, and you and another girl come up equal on all other counts, but the other girl has a rec, guess who gets the spot?

[St3ph888]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

She is going to the University of Arkansas-Fayetteville.

um.. no im not.

[SWTXBelle]

Sorry - I must have confused you with another PNM. Where are you going?

[irishpipes]

I went to the University of Illinois and I advise a chapter at the University of Arkansas. The likelihood is extremely high that she will be cut first round by every chapter at Arkansas if she has no rec.

At Illinois, my chapter did not throw away recs, and they were very helpful since there are so many PNMs. There were definitely chapters at Illinois that would not give bids without recs, probably due to a national policy (but maybe they would procure them on their own if they want you badly enough.) There were also great chapters at Illinois that gave bids without recs.

[exlurker]

Originally Posted by irishpipes

I went to the University of Illinois and I advise a chapter at the University of Arkansas. The likelihood is extremely high that she will be cut first round by every chapter at Arkansas if she has no rec. . . .

irishpipes is telling it like it is.
Or, as the University of Arkansas Panhellenic says -- in italics and boldface on their recruitment info site --
it is encouraged to have at least one letter of recommendation per chapter.

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Sorry - I must have confused you with another PNM. Where are you going?

Originally Posted by exlurker

irishpipes is telling it like it is.
Or, as the University of Arkansas Panhellenic says -- in italics and boldface on their recruitment info site --
it is encouraged to have at least one letter of recommendation per chapter.

Sweetgirl424 is the PNM rushing at the University of Arkansas this Fall.

If you need a refresher: the OP's recruitment situation. DBB was kind enough to quote.

[honeychile]

Orange Juice, you may know quite a few women who were placed in 12 different GLOs "without a rec", but you really don't know the full story. Some of them may have had a friend or relative send one in without her knowledge, others may have been SO outstanding that the chapter scrambled to find one for her immediately after the first round. I know of more than one GLO which keeps 2-5 alumnae around for the first party simply to somehow get a rec on an incredible PNM.

Yes, there are schools were recs are not expected - but unless you know that every GLO at said schools doesn't require a rec, you are doing a grave disservice to the PNMs!

[NUBlue&Blue]

When my older daughter went through rush, an alum who wrote a rec for her called me to ask about four girls from our HS who were invited to pref at her sorority at two different colleges. She was our high school's contact person and she needed to secure a rec for every girl who was going to pref in case they were offered a bid BECAUSE IT WAS REQUIRED.

Just because you don't know about it doesn't mean that a rec was not required or secured for the PNM. Think of it like a thank you note. No, it's not required, but it's the right thing to do. Maximize all your options by getting recs to every sorority on campus if possible, whether they say they require it or not.

[susan314]

Originally Posted by NUBlue&Blue

Just because you don't know about it doesn't mean that a rec was not required or secured for the PNM. Think of it like a thank you note. No, it's not required, but it's the right thing to do. Maximize all your options by getting recs to every sorority on campus if possible, whether they say they require it or not.

Although recs weren't mandatory at Michigan State and mosts PNMs didn't obtain them prior to rush, I know that at least one sorority on my campus attempted to secure a hometown rec for me. (Its entirely possible that others did, but I just happened to find out about one after the fact.)

[irishpipes]

Exactly. I found out after the fact at the University of Illinois that a rec had been secured for me at a particular chapter. It was done because I was apparently someone's "rush crush" and she knew I had little chance without one - even with her pulling for me.

[NUBlue&Blue]

Well, I was pretty stupid even though I was an upperclassman. I had a lot of friends in one particular sorority, knew two sisters from my home county who were in that sorority at U of Iowa, one of whom had been my teacher and the other I knew through her son, so I asked them to write recommendations for me for that one sorority. I was cut pretty heavily, although it probably had more to do with the fact that I was an upperclassman and I had a pretty well known boyfriend....and we had a rather shall we say "drama-filled" relationship, which included girls in different sororities, particularly the one where he was a hasher, asking him to parties, etc. etc., and me getting really mad and vocal about it, etc. etc. (I'm sure there are people out there who would have a hard time believing that we ever ended up getting married, have 4 kids and just celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary! )

I had some close friends in a few other sororities, so I ended up with a full card of invites, but I never had to drop houses.....and like most of these stories, alls well that ends well.

But if I'd been smarter, I'd have tried to get more recs.