To be a Deb or not to be a Deb?

[macallan25]

Yeah I did Rose Festival, Austin Jewel Ball, and Waco Cotton Palace

Originally posted by tinydancer
In Texas, the debs mostly come from old money, socially prominent families. It is still a big deal in many cities.
My cousin was a deb when she was at TCU. I didn't want to do it, so I never put a lot of interest into it.

[OleMissGlitter]

To be a Deb.....

http://www.sunherald.com/mld/thesunh...g/16102991.htm

http://www.gulflive.com/living/missi...4101417260.xml

[FAB*SpiceySpice]

I don't think there's anything wrong with being a deb, I was one and it was actually a lot of fun. All of my fellow debs and stags were kids that I had grown up with and gone to school with for many years. In Omaha, if your family donates lots of money to different organizations, especially the Omaha Symphony (since they are the ones who are in charge of it all), you can be one. I took cotillion classes when I was younger and this was basically an extension of those, with some more fun events thrown in besides etiquette and dancing lessons.
Plus I loved my deb ball, getting escorted out on stage with my daddy and getting introduced (they introduce you by name, who your parents are, where you're in college at, and what sorority/fraternity you're part of if you're a member).

At the same time, I don't think it's a tragic ordeal if a girl isn't a debutante, her life will be just fine with out it. If it's something she and/or her parents want to do, great, if not, that's cool too.

My only complaint about being a deb is that I still have an actual wedding gown (we were required to wear wedding gowns) stashed in a closet at my parent's house and I have no clue wtf to do with it...

[Honeykiss1974]

I was a deb (in MS) and the only people I've ran into that even know what that is have been in the south. Asking about being a deb here in Kansas gets you a look. No where here do they do this, not even at the high end country clubs (which totally blows my mind because there is only so much golf you can play when plunking down a minimum of 20K a year). I'm sorry but if I'm paying that much a year, my daughter would be coming out of cannon through a ring of fire!

Anyway, depending upon where I live, I doubt if I will care if my daughter is one or not.

[Taualumna]

Not all debs come out at a ball. There are girls who have "coming-out teas" usually held at the girl's home. A 1940s-1950s etiquette book describes how one should introduce their daughter at a tea, including what she should wear:

"Some debutantes wear their white 'coming-out' evening frock, with white gloves and slippers. But many prefer to keep their dance frocks in reserve and appear in pretty, light-coloured afternoon dresses, which is more in keeping, as the mother will wear an afternoon dress, although of a richer colour"

(Gertrude Pringle, Etiquette in Canada)

The hostess also usually invites other girls who are making their debuts that season to help out with refreshments.

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally Posted by FAB*SpiceySpice

My only complaint about being a deb is that I still have an actual wedding gown (we were required to wear wedding gowns) stashed in a closet at my parent's house and I have no clue wtf to do with it...

Sell that sucker on EBAY!! Seriously, EBAY or Craigslist.org esp at halloween time. That's how I got rid of mine.

[NinjaPoodle]

I was an escort (belle) at a Beautillion (for the dudes). Ours included h.s. seniors and college froshy's and sophmores. It was Jack and Jill (of America, Inc) sponsored. I think it's a nice right-of-passage type thing and if you like it, like it, if not, whatever.

[DSTCHAOS]

Deb balls only work for me because there's usually scholarship money and/or social networks to gain from participation.

If you don't stand to gain either from a deb ball, even if it's a cultural right of passage, it's pompous and tends to reinforce gender expectations.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by James

What happens during deb season? Are there like rounds of parties?

Yes, there are rounds of parties. At least around here, each deb is expected to host a party (often a group who live near each other will go in together to host the party) to which many if not all of the other debs, their dates and others (friends of the hostesses) may be invited. Ms. MysticCat thought that was the second best part of the deb season.

Do men factor into it at all?

Yes. Fathers of the debs are involved, as well as their escorts. Ms. MysticCat considers the time she spent with her father during the deb events to be the best part of the whole thing, and she still looks on it very fondly. In her mind, that alone was worth the whole experience.

What age are Debutantes normally? Is it just a high school thing? Does it help at all with Rush?

Around here, the main deb ball is at the beginning of sophomore year of college, with the parties during the preceding summer. For many if not most of these girls (at least those attending Greek schools), Rush is an in-the-past event by this time.

Smaller, more local balls may be held during freshman year or at the end of hugh school.

[aopirose]

Originally Posted by Honeykiss1974

I'm sorry but if I'm paying that much a year, my daughter would be coming out of cannon through a ring of fire!

HK1974, that is the funniest thing that I have read in a long time.

I was a deb many moons ago as were lots of friends and it was fun. I would hope that my daughter(s) would like to do the same.

[Texas Beta]

Originally Posted by tinydancer

In Texas, the debs mostly come from old money, socially prominent families. It is still a big deal in many cities.
My cousin was a deb when she was at TCU. I didn't want to do it, so I never put a lot of interest into it.

How do you define "old money"? I've always figured that debutante stuff was a new money thing, a social thing to make them feel more important in society. I'm not bashing it though, my sister did it, and most celebratory gatherings with booze somewhere involved are a lot of fun.

I think old money is money, or maybe large quantities of land which has been passed down for at least several generations and are already predominant in their community. I’ve never met a family like this who has put any family member up for this.

[macallan25]

Originally Posted by Texas Beta

How do you define "old money"? I've always figured that debutante stuff was a new money thing, a social thing to make them feel more important in society. I'm not bashing it though, my sister did it, and most celebratory gatherings with booze somewhere involved are a lot of fun.

I think old money is money, or maybe large quantities of land which has been passed down for at least several generations and are already predominant in their community. I’ve never met a family like this who has put any family member up for this.

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Deb balls are extremely old money......look where they were started. I don't know which balls in Texas you know of.....but take Tyler Rose Festival, for example. It is one of the most prominent in Texas and it is extremely old money. Lots of families with old oil and land/ranching money. The names that have been in it over the years are pretty astonishing.

[OleMissGlitter]

Agreed with macallan25

In New Orleans most Debutante events are for the Blue Blood of New Orleans (not the nouveau riche.) Although on occasion a nouveau or two might take part in the event. In New Orleans, most of the true Debutantes are presented in many Balls like Comus, Momus, Rex, Athenians, Bachelor's, Twelfth Night, etc....then their families have teas and parties for them at NOCC, Metairie Country Club, or somewhere very nice.

[alum]

Originally Posted by macallan25

.


Deb balls are extremely old money......look where they were started.

Young women of age were presented to society in Europe for centuries. Here in the US, the debutante ball was first documented in Main Line Philadelphia.

[Texas Beta]

I know, but it seemed to me that the trend was leading more towards the new. I suppose I don't know enough about the topic!