is there any hope?

[irishpipes]

Originally posted by 33girl
But it seems from the vehemence of the OP's posts that during rush this group looked and behaved in a way that had ZERO to do with who they really are.

This is a great point. It is what I think of when chapters bring in other chapters to help them recruit if they are having a hard time.

Doesn't every chapter have members that you meet and wonder, "why is SHE in that chapter?" I mean that on both sides of the coin. Maybe the OP is one of those?

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally posted by irishpipes
Doesn't every chapter have members that you meet and wonder, "why is SHE in that chapter?" I mean that on both sides of the coin. Maybe the OP is one of those?

To be honest, maybe the OP isn't one of those. The OP has an issue with her chapter's appearance but she may, in actuality, fit in perfectly with that chapter. I'm not trying to be funny or mean. Her issue with the chapter does not necessarily mean that people will think her membership sticks out like a sore thumb, even if she doesn't "wear a size 14."

[EPTriSigma]

The reason your work out class failed was because you did too much all at once. If you are going to be sucessful working out and loosing weight it has to be a progress. Start out with one day a week. When you have a steady one day a week pattern move it up to two, then three and so on. Also remember to not push hour long sessions down their throats. Short and sweet will keep them coming. People make the mistake of over working out all the time when they first start. Maybe you should get a nutritionist to come do an educational presentation at your meeting.

[33girl]

Originally posted by DSTCHAOS
To be honest, maybe the OP isn't one of those. The OP has an issue with her chapter's appearance but she may, in actuality, fit in perfectly with that chapter. I'm not trying to be funny or mean. Her issue with the chapter does not necessarily mean that people will think her membership sticks out like a sore thumb, even if she doesn't "wear a size 14."

The infamous "you'll end up where you were meant to" thread

[honeychile]

One way to try is at an informal meeting, have a hairdresser come in and demonstrate on a few sisters (pick them out!). Changing a hairstyle isn't as confrontational as working out or changing makeup. Once these sisters see how great they look with the new hairstyle, they may decide to progress to some makeup.

The secret is to sneak these things up, one by one. Ask your alumnae to help. In fact, if one of your alums is a hairdresser or a cosmetologist, have her ASK if she can demonstate, as a favor to HER.

Eventually, you can sneak in a fashion show (and won't they look better in a smaller size?), then comes the exercise/dieting.

It will not work with every sister - but should work with enough to start the great image change!

[adpiucf]

I think your goals are nobel and valid... but do other chapter members share these same goals? If you are in the extreme minority, it may not be worth it.

I think you're in for a lot of hard work that may not pay off. You'll get heavily involved in trying to change the sorority's local culture, an uphill battle that will probably involve taking on a major exec board role, alienating some members, losing sleep and worst of all -- missing out on the fun of college or losing sight of your academic goals to miss that internship opportunity, slack on grades or fail to turn something around that will become a positive in your life.

If it is worth sacrificing 3 years of your time and life, just in time to graduate and see the work partially done, then go for it. I don't know your specific situation or the other chapter members.

Otherwise, you can do one of two things-- be the cute girl in XYZ letters or cancel your membership. Few sororities are compelled to offer early alum status just because you don't like your chapter.

[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by DSTCHAOS
To be honest, maybe the OP isn't one of those. The OP has an issue with her chapter's appearance but she may, in actuality, fit in perfectly with that chapter. I'm not trying to be funny or mean. Her issue with the chapter does not necessarily mean that people will think her membership sticks out like a sore thumb, even if she doesn't "wear a size 14."

And, on the rare occasions when I've seen a woman who didn't necessarily seem to "fit" into her chapter, it's been a matter of "how did she ever get a bid from them?" as opposed to "how in the world were they able to get HER to join?"

ETA: Ok, I've seen that exactly once.

[SockPuppet3]

Originally posted by 33girl
But it seems from the vehemence of the OP's posts that during rush this group looked and behaved in a way that had ZERO to do with who they really are.

On one hand this is true. On the other, it's hard to hide the fact that some of the sisters are overweight.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not the next Miss America, but I am healthy (size 8) and I put effort into how I look. Based on the way the sisterhood presented themselves during recruitment, they did too. I can't help but wonder why they stopped.

I don't mean to suggest that ALL the sisters are overweight and in need of a hairstyle/make-up pick-me-up. But, when 1/3 of them are, well... then you're in the situation I'm in.

I guess I just wish that the rest of the sisters were as frustrated as I am about being the joke sorority. I can't stand it. It doesn't mean I love my sisters less, just that I hate the reputation we have.

[PiKA2001]

Have you tried nationals? They could help you with rush ideas or programming.

[SockPuppet3]

I can see why people are saying some of the things they're saying about me. But put yourself in the situation.

If you were part of a group who was looked down upon, you'd want to do something to change it.

I've said it several times and I'll say it again. I love my sisters. I joined this group because I love what it stands for and because I felt a connection with the girls. If I didn't care about either of those two things, I wouldn't care how the sorority is perceived because I wouldn't be part of it.

I'm not trying to say that all sisters need to be size x or smaller, be dressed to the nines and wear flawless make-up at all times. I'm trying to say that our image on our campus is poor. And that matters to me. I think it would matter to our founders. They wouldn't've wanted girls walking around in a way that makes the sorority, nationally, look bad.

I really do understand why some of you say that it sounds like I don't care about my sisters. But, honestly, if I didn't care about my sisters, I'd just quit. I'm trying to fix it, not abandon it.

[SockPuppet3]

Originally posted by PiKA2001
Have you tried nationals? They could help you with rush ideas or programming.

I haven't... yet. I didn't know whether I could do that, since I'm not an officer. Plus, I don't want to get my chapter in trouble if there's a way to fix it without involving nationals.

[shinerbock]

It is not vain or superficial to care about appearance. It does however, show that you take pride in yourself and your organization. One thing that is dangerous, especially to struggling organizations, is the idea that nothing else matters, because we have great bonds of sisterhood. Thats very important, but I hear such organizations constantly rationalize their poor performance on campus with phrases like that, or that "they don't wanna be the cookie cutter sorority or fraternity." Sorry, but to be good on your campus, you'll most likely need to do what other sororities are doing. I mean, it makes sense, what fraternity wants to hang out w/ girls who don't take care of themselves? I know good sororities don't want socials with fraternities that act in that manner. This goes beyond greek life as well, into getting a job, and the way society treats you in general. Start taking care of yourselves, clean up the problems, and start being exclusive in rush. Don't take just take girls because they're attractive, but don't just take them because they're nice either. I'd say take a mixture of both, but it needs to be a mix within each girl which will make the difference. Having a few cute girls and a bunch of "good personality" girls arent gonna make the difference.

[CarolinaDG]

Originally posted by SockPuppet3
I can see why people think I'm being petty and superficial. Maybe I am to an extent. But, like it or not, image is not just something that can be ignored.

I've tried to start an aerobics class, but after a month of meeting 3 times a week, there have been only 3 girls come. And, those 3 were ones who don't need to shed weight. The rest of the sisters were busy watching TV and passing a bowl of cheetos.

I invited a MK representative to a retreat once... most of the girls were just turned off by the sales tactics. They almost seemed to resent the fact that she asked if anyone wanted to purchase anything.

It just seems unfair that those of us who would like to participate in things greek life generally offers can't. I don't want to disaffiliate because I know, in the grand scheme of things, the collegiate aspect of sorority life is much shorter than alum.

Now, I'm not being accusatory, but are you TELLING people that you're doing aerobics classes to help the "bigger" girls lose weight? 'Cause I'm telling you, if you are, than the people who "need" to go to the classes are sitting back at the dorms (or house) going, "Oh, my God! Can you BELIEVE sock puppet?! She's such a b***** for trying to make us lose weight." Don't make it obvious.

Can I tell you, I was in a sorority that wasn't the "stereotypical" sorority, and I have tons and tons of friends who were. I was on sorority council, went to bars and parties with girls from other sororities, etc... I know the frustration with not being able to have mixers with the fraternities that other sororities can, so I understand what you're saying about wanting to do the stereotypical "greek life" things. But there are ways to still do those things. And the fact of the matter is, although I still did those things, and was well liked in the greek community (that's right, I said it!), my chapter contains 100+ girls that I can turn to with my problems. My 4 closest friends are from my chapter and pledge class. That's why I still love my chapter and sorority, and never regret my decision.

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by pixell
It doesn't sound like you care about your sisters, just how they make YOU look. Seriously, does it matter if you don't like their appearance? I think it's really rude of you to think you should have a say in how they look or dress. If one of my chapter sisters told me I was too fat, not wearing enough makeup, etc, to make her proud to be a member then I'd tell her where she could go.

I don't think she's stupid enough to say "you look fat" to anyone.

I love how people get all offended if somebody has anything to say about the appearance of sorority members. If sockpuppet4 registers and posts about how she wants to improve her chapter's GPA or involvement in community service, you'd all be up her butt. Why is this any different?

[SockPuppet3]

Originally posted by CarolinaDG
Now, I'm not being accusatory, but are you TELLING people that you're doing aerobics classes to help the "bigger" girls lose weight? 'Cause I'm telling you, if you are, than the people who "need" to go to the classes are sitting back at the dorms (or house) going, "Oh, my God! Can you BELIEVE sock puppet?! She's such a b***** for trying to make us lose weight." Don't make it obvious.

I hear you. No, I'm not telling them anything like that. (And I agree that people would think I'm bi#@cy if I did.) It started off with me saying something like, "I'm going to aerobics class, but I'm the only XYZ who goes. It'd be nice if I had a sister or two there with me."

Then, I got responses like, "I'd go, but I don't want people to see me looking like a fool."

So I said, "I have some tapes, we can have XYZ aerobics here! That would be sooo fun!"

I've already indicated the kind of turn-out that got.


And, for those of you who are sticking up for me and giving me helpful replies, thank you. You're the reason I came here for help.