Stupid, Crazy or Funny pick up lines

[sistarisin]

Originally posted by mccoyred
I was on the train last week and this guy started talking to me, casually. He saw my wedding ring and asked was I married; I said yes. He asked whether I had children; I said yes. In the very next breath, he asked me would I like to go out with him and he kissed my hand. I was like WTF? Then he said that he doesn't want a committment but would love to go out and have a 'good time'. Don't think so!

Oooooh....

I wonder if we've ran into the same fool! I was gettin my car washed and this guy says the usual "Can I take you out sometime". I reply that I am married. (Really, divorced.. but hell I didn't feel like being bothered.) He says "Great, so am I.... So what's the problem?" I'm thinkin to myself 'You are definitely a winner!'

[lil_sunshine]

OHMIGOD!!! These lines are funny! I'm from NYC, so most of the winning lines come from here, if nowhere else. These are lines that I read on the train while going to school. It was advertising something; I forgot, but here they go....

1. Do you have a name, or can I just call you "Mine?"
2. Your lips look kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
3. You know the human body's 95% water, and I'm feeling kinda thirsty.
4. I don't have a phone number, so can I have yours?
5. Are your feet tired? B/c you've been running through my mind all day.
6. I'm new in town and I haven't found a place yet, so can I go home with you? (WHAT?!?!? )

Those are the winning rays of sunshine that I could think of. I hope you guys get a kick out of them.

[stillwater15]

Originally posted by sequel_1913
girl i will sprinkle hershey kisses on the ground where you walk and they would read i kiss the ground you walk on!!!

maybe i'm corny, but i think that's kind of cute.

[Swamp Thang]

Sorors.. Tha Bruhs had a MILLION of um when we were ug. Most were silly ones we used on freshmen girls to get to know them and get them to the bar-be-QUE or party.

My favorite was to have a young lady on her way to class pass you and say,"ExQUESe me."

-- have her turn around "yes"

You dropped something..

-- she looks down and all around.. "What?"

THen the Bruhs would say.. "OUR CONVERSATION.. LET'S PICK IT BACK UP."

*rimshot* Thank you Thank you Sorors... *please.. no more applause*.. just throw $$$$

[Ideal08]

Originally posted by Rain Man
IMHO my pickup lines were a little more original. Some examples:

*Rain Man at the supermarket*
I see a fine sista, evaluate her mood and body language--if she appears "normal", I approach her with this line:

RM: Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find the frozen raccoon?
Sista: What?/Excuse me?
RM: Frozen raccoon. You know, the kind in the Swanson TV dinners?
Sista: *LOL* Are you kidding me?
RM: Naw, it's true. They just came out with them last month and from what I was told, it is delicious....

Note: This line will work primarily for a sista who is generally mellow, easygoing, and got a great sense of humor.

*Rain Man at the art gallery, seeing a sista looking at a painting*

RM: I'm sorry, but that artist is WACK!
Sista: How can you say that?
RM: 'Cause I got a 19-year-old brother who can sketch better than old dude there. *RM pulls out a charcoal sketch and shows it to Sista* They say my little brother is in the same league as Klee (prounounced CLAY).
Sista: *studying sketch* Someone is lying to your little brother. That sketch makes this painting here look like Rembrandt.
RM: *studying the two pieces of artwork and sighing* Y'know, you might be right. By the way....

Note: This lets a sista know that if nothing else, you have an appreciation for artwork, and possibly a sense of intellect. Whether or not your brother is actually in the same league as Klee may be another story altogether.

*Rain Man at the mall or on the street. He sees a sista carrying several shopping bags. He casually looks in another direction and bumps into her, knocking down the bags and spilling the contents*

RM: Oh, I am so sorry. I am just such a clumsy fool.
Sista: Oh, that's alright. It's OK.
RM: No, it's not. I am just so absentminded, out in Lada Land. Lemme help you with this *While putting her stuff in her bags, RM, slips in a small package with his business card attached. Another tag attached, reads: "To Jim, thanks for the help. Call me, we'll have lunch" When finished, RM gives one last apology, then quickly slips away*

Note: If Sista is honest, she will call the number on the card to arrange to give the package back to you. From there, it's holla time all the way.

One last one:
*Rain Man in the park getting a drink of water. He sees Sista alone walking down the path When Sista gets within "range", RM coughs and gasps uncontrollably*

Sista: Are you all right?
*RM responds with more coughing and gasping*
Sista: Are you okay?
RM: *coughing subsiding a bit* Yeah, I'm alright. Water went down the wrong pipe. Thank you though. It's not everyday that I get a Good Samaritan coming to my aid. You must be truly an angel sent from God.
Sista: *blushing* Thank you.
RM: No, really, tho'....

Note: Food can be substituted if no fountain is available. But be careful, though. Sista could panic and dial 911 on you, or a nearby cop or paramedic could come on the scene to your rescue and wreck your whole game.

Just to let you sistas know that some of us are original and not offensive.

RM

CRAZY!! Yo' azz is crazy, LMAO!!!

I'm just now reading this thread, and this is some funny mess, lmao...

[PKTSU01]

2 classics...

"Ya know what would look good on you?...ME!"
(this never works, but I've seen many a drunk college men get beer poured all over em for it!"

"Girl...you look so good someone oughta put you on a plate...sop you up wit a biscuit!" - Rev. Brown- Coming to America

[Swamp Thang]

"gIRL.. DO you wanna see me put my SEX ORGAN ON MY SHOULDER?"

* girl looks at you crazy *..

THEN YOU TURN YOUR HEAD AND PUT YOUR TONGUE ON YOUR SHOULDER !!

*getz a laugh every time*

[kizzie22]

Originally posted by Swamp Thang
"gIRL.. DO you wanna see me put my SEX ORGAN ON MY SHOULDER?"

* girl looks at you crazy *..

THEN YOU TURN YOUR HEAD AND PUT YOUR TONGUE ON YOUR SHOULDER !!

*getz a laugh every time*

LMAOF!!!!! I agree Ideal 08 This is a hillilarous thread...

[lil_sunshine]

I wanna add to my list of the lines that I saw on the train...

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT OR SHOULD I WALK BY AGAIN?

How's that for a ray of sunshine???

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally posted by Swamp Thang
"gIRL.. DO you wanna see me put my SEX ORGAN ON MY SHOULDER?"

* girl looks at you crazy *..

THEN YOU TURN YOUR HEAD AND PUT YOUR TONGUE ON YOUR SHOULDER !!

*getz a laugh every time*

CTHU!!! See you are crazy!!

[Sugar_N_Spice]

The one I get the most is: "Dayum you look good/pretty/(etc.) to be a dark-skinnded girl!"

WTF??? Are all dark skinned women supposed to be ugly???

Also: "Dayum, you tall!! I'll bet you hear that alot." "Do you play basketball"--and then proceed to ask me out!! This happens esp. when I'm sporting a sweatshirt with my college's letters on it...Men (and people in general) assume I play basketball for my school and am on academic scholarship!!

They Like I'm not aware of my height!!! You insult me and then ask for my number?? I don't get it...

Where are all the decent Black men in America??? I live in a large city, yet I kno most of y'all are not here!!! What does a Sista have to do to get one?! LOL...

[DirectorDST99]

Stupid and Crazy Pick Up Line..."Do you cheat on your husband?"

Talk about bold!!!!!

[Sugar_N_Spice]

Originally posted by DirectorDST99
Stupid and Crazy Pick Up Line..."Do you cheat on your husband?"

I've gotten that before too--even though I was lying about being married Men are a trip, LOL...

[D.COM]

LOLOLOL! ROFMAO!!!!

1) I had one guy at a club approach me and say: "Hi, I'm George...I play football." I was like "AND!!!????" and walked away.

2) I have heard this one more than 1000 times: "You have pretty eyes and hair. Can I get your number?"

3) Football players at my school LOVE to ask you for your number and do not even bother asking YOUR NAME.

4) Here is one I've heard around:
Man: "Excuse me. Can you help me with a math problem?"
Female: "Huh? What do you mean?" OR "Sure."
Man:"Let's add you and me together, subtract your clothes, divide your legs, and multiply."

5) And another I saw online:
Man to woman: "Lay down...I think I love you."
LOL!

Sometimes, when I do NOT want to be bothered, I MESS WITH THEM BACK:

Man: "Hey...you wanna be my friend?"
Me: "Why?"
Man:"Because maybe we can chill together."
Me: "Why?"
Man:"Maybe we can go to your place and kick it."
Me: "Why?"
Man:"Why you keep askin why? I mean, isn't it obvious I am trying to hook up with you?"
Me: "Why?"
Man: "Are you one of those girls who like to put salt on a brotha's game?"
Me: "Yes."
Man: "Well, nice talking to ya" and FINALLY he LEAVES!
LOLOLOLOLOL!

[1savvydiva]

Originally posted by SFactor



"Well you know you got more a$$ than a team of donkeys!"

LMAO!!!!! I had to seriously run to the bathroom after reading this, I was laughing so hard. I had to pull this one back up to the top!