What's wrong with the black female?

[AKA2D '91]

JAM?

[The Original Ape]

Originally posted by jazbri:
What you talkin 'bout Original Ape?

I'm talkin' 'bout YOU!!! You got a good head on yo shouldas; and if I was near you, I 'd have to lock you down!

[lluvmook98]

If we as women are so very flawed, what has caused us to becomed the way we have?

Were we happier when we did cook, clean and rely so heavily on our men.

Something changed. What was it?

[The Original Ape]

Originally posted by lluvmook98:
If we as women are so very flawed, what has caused us to becomed the way we have?

Were we happier when we did cook, clean and rely so heavily on our men.

Something changed. What was it?

Ask your grandmothers, grand aunts, etc.

[lluvmook98]

Are you being smart. I really hope not because I was REALLY asking what do people feel caused the change. Maybe there was something in the social climate or maybe people just changed. So please tell me that you were not being a smart --- because I know that I was not.

[jazbri]

I think the differences that lie between our generation and our grandmothers are many. The main difference is obviously in how we were reared. My grandmothers were reared to be ladies, cheerfully create a loving home environment (inclusive of: cooking, cleaning, taking care of their husbands and children=family). They were groomed to be the 'traditional wife'. My mom raised me to be a lady, independent, complete your college education, and strive to be the best that I can. When you examine the two scenarios (my grandmothers and mine), they are completely different! I've made it clear in my previous posts the areas that I feel we've gone completely astray. I completely lump myself in the category of having gone astray of what I feel is the ultimate achievement. It would be to actually achieve the best of both the old and new generations, balancing a career with a positive, stable, nurturing home environment. (MUCH EASIER SAID THAN DONE) Being a single (soon-to-be divorced) mom of two, I can definitely see where I've gone wrong in my marriage, career, and the raising of my kids. My goal now is to achieve a healthy balance in all areas.

Original Ape, thanks for the compliment. I's blushin'! You're actually not too far from my hometown, Cleveland!

[This message has been edited by jazbri (edited October 12, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by jazbri (edited October 12, 2000).]

[The Original Ape]

Originally posted by jazbri:
I think the differences that lie between our generation and our grandmothers are many. The main difference is obviously in how we were reared. My grandmothers were reared to be ladies, cheerfully create a loving home environment (inclusive of: cooking, cleaning, taking care of their husbands and children=family). They were groomed to be the 'traditional wife'. My mom raised me to be a lady, independent, complete your college education, and strive to be the best that I can. When you examine the two scenarios (my grandmothers and mine), they are completely different! I've made it clear in my previous posts the areas that I feel we've gone completely astray. I completely lump myself in the category of having gone astray of what I feel is the ultimate achievement. It would be to actually achieve the best of both the old and new generations, balancing a career with a positive, stable, nurturing home environment. (MUCH EASIER SAID THAN DONE) Being a single (soon-to-be divorced) mom of two, I can definitely see where I've gone wrong in my marriage, career, and the raising of my kids. My goal now is to achieve a healthy balance in all areas.

Original Ape, thanks for the compliment. I's blushin'! You're actually not too far from my hometown, Cleveland!

[This message has been edited by jazbri (edited October 12, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by jazbri (edited October 12, 2000).]

Did yall hear DAT! Not too far, huh?


(I need to learn how to put that winker, and sunglasses-wearin' face up where I want it)

[lluvmook98]

Thank YOU Jazbri.
i'm just wondering, you have said alot about the woman's role. What do you fell, from personal experience or from your "research" is the "proper" role of a man in a relationship/family?

I'm asking 'cause it is always good to learn new opinions.

[The Original Ape]

Originally posted by lluvmook98:
Are you being smart. I really hope not because I was REALLY asking what do people feel caused the change. Maybe there was something in the social climate or maybe people just changed. So please tell me that you were not being a smart --- because I know that I was not.

If you're referring to me, I am serious. They know what kind of things was on people's minds in their day. They know the difference in the way men approached women, and the way women reacted. Just like Steve Harvey said in that movie: it's in the music. In the 80s, brothas serenaded ladies-out of respect. They sought romance and relationships; today, we don't.

I think technology has a greater impact on life than people think. Look how easy cellular phones and pagers have made it to cheat.

[Professor]

"All of this is true. Did anyone realize that this is almost an all female conversation?
Here we are in a frat room. ALONE"

Sister - a reply is forthcoming (lol)

[Professor]

Originally posted by lluvmook98:
I don't know. Maybe it is just me! I guess I had some bad speriences (as my students would say.

CTFU!!!! I must be getting old - - "speriences"

[AKA2D '91]

that's ebonics...


YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED WHAT THESE KIDS ARE SAYING THESE DAYS...I AM AT A HIGH SCHOOL, WHEN THE KIDS SPEAK, I AM LIKE....WTF?

[AKA2D '91]

that's ebonics...


YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED WHAT THESE KIDS ARE SAYING THESE DAYS...I AM AT A HIGH SCHOOL, WHEN THE KIDS SPEAK, I AM LIKE....WTF?

[jazbri]

I know that I've found a huge, bitter, horse pill for all of us females to swallow. I know, I've truly blown up our spot! I'd rather have to swallow that big bitter pill rather than live in denial of my ways. Anyway, to answer the question of "What is the proper role of a male?" I'd first start off by saying that because I'm not a man I can't really identify with what makes a man or what is the proper role for a man. Being a female, I can obviously state what my purpose and my desired goals are in a relationship and can respond with some degree of intelligence as to how my peers are doing. In any event, I can tell you what I'd desire in a man. He needs to know and love God. He'd have to love and respect himself first and foremost. He'd need to have a 'true love and respect' for women. I've experienced some men who didn't love themselves first and could not obviously love me. I think that a lot of men look at and feel desire for women; however, they don't have a basic love and respect for them. It's that kind of love that I believe mommas and grandmommas have to instill in them. I have found it to be a rare breed of man that have that true love. I hope yall can get where I'm coming from. So my 'recipe' for this man has love and respect for himself and the same for my species. The fourth ingredient would be honesty. A fifth ingredient would be patience. Patience for me and all of my shortcomings as well as for himself. My sixth ingredient would be humbleness in spirit. I'd take all of that and mix that up with an intense sexuality. I'm a keep it real with yall. I'm not talking about just 'bedroom sex'. I mean the kind of brother that makes you feel that inner sensuality throughout your being. In my recipe, that man has to celebrate that I am not only his woman but that I am woman. I could probably go on for much, much longer than this post could allow so I'm gonna shut up now cuz' I think I covered the most important stuff!

[LadyAKA]

I can't bear to read all the post on this topic, but I can pick up where Jazbri has left off, and actually I only have one thing to say: My mother told me that if a man does not love and respect his mother/grandmother then he will never cherish me. Personally on Jazbri's list that (loving his mother) would come third, i.e. after knowing/loving the lord and himself - I think it follows that if he loves and respects his mom then he will respect me and women in general, usually only a mom/grandma (legal guardian or what have you) can teach that. Don’t get uptight yet, I simply mean you can only learn this in the home with love and through love!!

Oh and I love the intense sexuality ingredient ...

Okay I am done invading your board I am going home.

[This message has been edited by LadyAKA (edited October 16, 2000).]