Dropping my sorority - Page 3

pineapples · #1 01-07-2014, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AZTheta

pineapples, please - you need to contact your own sorority. Either locally, or your headquarters.

I'm repeating this because other NPC sororities may or may not offer an early alumnae option. And it isn't solely a chapter decision, it may well be a national/international policy.

We don't have any idea whether or not you'd qualify for early alumnae status; your only option may be to resign. So let the side convo(s) go. And DON'T WAIT UNTIL YOU GET BACK TO SCHOOL if you are dead set on resigning. Do it NOW. (caps for emphasis).

ahhhh okay. I'm going to get in touch with someone today. Thank you SO much - I really do appreciate your help.

Titchou · #2 01-08-2014, 08:16 AM

You also understand, I hope, that you will have to turn in all your jewelry (badge),stuff with letters, etc, you'll never be allowed to join another NPC group nor an alum group and your daughters/granddaughters/etc will never be legacies. Just so you know how all-encompassing this decision is. Like I said before, it sounds like you just want the wedding and not the marriage.

ukdzccd · #3 01-09-2014, 10:38 PM

As a chapter adviser, my advice would be if you are considering transferring for educational reasons, and have the possibility of affiliating with a different chapter of your same sorority, honestly that may be your best bet. It's very easy to dole out arm-chair advice about sticking with it and it's a lifetime commitment...yada, yada, yada, but we all know that sometimes the face that a sorority puts out during recruitment is not an accurate representation of what they are truly like once the big show is over and you get to the nitty-gritty of getting to know everyone. The attitude of the chapter with every new incoming member class can result in a shift in direction, so-to-speak, so it's not entirely unreasonable to think that maybe what you signed up for, wasn't what you ended up getting.

In Delta Zeta, you do not HAVE to affiliate if you leave your original school of initiation. So if you pledged/initiated at one school, found it didn't work for you and you wanted to switch, you could, and if you did not affiliate with the DZ chapter at your new school OR they didn't have one, you would become an alumna. Now, if you chose to affiliate, the DZ chapter at the new school would have to vote to accept your petition, so it's not a sure-thing, but it is an option.

It seems that you are very interested in the sorority, and in continuing your commitment that you made when you joined your particular group, but just not this group of women, and the above option, if it's possible for your sorority, might be the best way for you to retain your membership to continue as an alumna but not be in a chapter that you didn't mesh with as well as you expected you would.

Don't know if you are a DZ, but if you are, I'd be more than happy to answer any questions you might have.

KDCat · #4 01-11-2014, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ukdzccd

As a chapter adviser, my advice would be if you are considering transferring for educational reasons, and have the possibility of affiliating with a different chapter of your same sorority, honestly that may be your best bet. It's very easy to dole out arm-chair advice about sticking with it and it's a lifetime commitment...yada, yada, yada, but we all know that sometimes the face that a sorority puts out during recruitment is not an accurate representation of what they are truly like once the big show is over and you get to the nitty-gritty of getting to know everyone. The attitude of the chapter with every new incoming member class can result in a shift in direction, so-to-speak, so it's not entirely unreasonable to think that maybe what you signed up for, wasn't what you ended up getting.

In Delta Zeta, you do not HAVE to affiliate if you leave your original school of initiation. So if you pledged/initiated at one school, found it didn't work for you and you wanted to switch, you could, and if you did not affiliate with the DZ chapter at your new school OR they didn't have one, you would become an alumna. Now, if you chose to affiliate, the DZ chapter at the new school would have to vote to accept your petition, so it's not a sure-thing, but it is an option.

It seems that you are very interested in the sorority, and in continuing your commitment that you made when you joined your particular group, but just not this group of women, and the above option, if it's possible for your sorority, might be the best way for you to retain your membership to continue as an alumna but not be in a chapter that you didn't mesh with as well as you expected you would.

Don't know if you are a DZ, but if you are, I'd be more than happy to answer any questions you might have.

co-sign

If you are transferring anyway, you are most likely to be an early alumna. You don't have to do anything at that point. You can decide whether to affiliate or not later. Since you are transferring, you might want to hit the pause button and sit with it for awhile, before you disaffiliate.

adpiucf · #5 01-18-2014, 12:55 PM

If you want to drop out, contact your chapter president or chapter advisor to discuss this procedure. If you're thinking about transferring to another school, this seems to be more to do with being generally unhappy and no sorority is going to be "right" for you until you are right with yourself. Wishing you the best as you sort everything out. College is a tough time and you're figuring a lot of stuff out. Sorority life isn't for everyone, and even for those involved its not always sunshine and rainbows. Being in an organization with women is HARD. If you're really sure it's not right for you, cut your losses and move on. But as with anything, if you aren't invested in something with a positive attitude and making an effort to get to know people, you're going to be miserable. That's just life in general.

bevinpiphi · #6 01-14-2014, 11:48 PM

If you're a Pi Phi, feel free to PM me and I can walk you through what you need to do, and what some of your options/consequences could be. I have several pledge class sisters or women I have advised who are now, a few years after resigning, asking to be reinstated as alumna members - make sure you have thought through not just what you'll feel now, but what you'll feel next month, next year, in 5 years.
Otherwise, talk to pledge educator, chapter president, or secretary/VP Admin. If you would feel more comfortable talking to an alum advisor, you should be able to get ahold of their information.

ChioLu · #7 01-15-2014, 04:32 PM

If you are a Chi Omega, early alum status is not common. Contact an alum advisor or Exec HQ if you have extenuating circumstances.
If you are transferring to another university that has a Chi O chapter, you are not required to affiliate -- it's optional.

pineapples · #8 01-06-2014, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jen

If the sorority as a whole appeals to you, and you feel you may be able to make a contribution in the future, see if it's possible to take early alumnae status. It may be that collegiate membership isn't a good fit for you, but alumnae membership may be. Collegiate membership is only 4 years or so, but the sorority is a lifetime membership - there are a lot of aspects of your sorority you have yet to experience.

This is something I am VERY interested in, one of the main selling points for me joining a Greek organization was the alumni connections. However, I'm not sure if it's an option for me since I was just initiated this past semester

I guess it's just something I'll have to discuss with an advisor once I take that step.

NutBrnHair · #9 01-06-2014, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pineapples

This is something I am VERY interested in, one of the main selling points for me joining a Greek organization was the alumni connections. However, I'm not sure if it's an option for me since I was just initiated this past semester

I guess it's just something I'll have to discuss with an advisor once I take that step.

Sounds to me like you want all of the privileges and none of the responsibilities.

I would very much doubt that you would qualify for early alumnae status.

pineapples · #10 01-06-2014, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

Sounds to me like you want all of the privileges and none of the responsibilities.

I would very much doubt that you would qualify for early alumnae status.

Well you're certainly entitled to draw whatever conclusions you want, not that it accomplishes much or helps me in any way.

I've gotten the answers that I needed.

justgo_withit · #11 01-06-2014, 09:30 PM

With regard to the comments you've received not being exactly what you asked for, It shouldn't be a shock that sorority actives and alumnae that are so involved as to be posting on an internet forum would try to encourage you to not terminate your lifetime membership.

Also, future women considering dropping may do a search and find this thread, so the comments are for them as well.

pineapples · #12 01-06-2014, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justgo_withit

With regard to the comments you've received not being exactly what you asked for, It shouldn't be a shock that sorority actives and alumnae that are so involved as to be posting on an internet forum would try to encourage you to not terminate your lifetime membership.

Also, future women considering dropping may do a search and find this thread, so the comments are for them as well.

It's not people trying to discourage me that grated on my nerves, I am more irritated by the patronizing tone. I wouldn't expect that on a very open and public forum of Greeks.