Always a PNM, never a sister.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ellebud

Sorry, I have heard (and know) two women who went out of their way to make sure someone didn't get a bid. They were quite proud of their accomplishment(s).

So, what did they do? Did they do this all on their own or enlist members of their sororities? Did they create fake documentation? Was this at a small or large Greek system? Were all the chapters constantly up in each others' business? How big were the chapters? Was the Greek life office involved? Was anyone reprimanded by the school?

Sorry but "oh yeah this is true because I heard it happen" falls flat if you don't have the particulars to back it up.

[Titchou]

This is what I don't understand. If she went to all this effort to find out what happened, who wrote the letter, who all read it, getting it "verified," why did she never go ask/talk with/confront the writer? I'd have called the woman up and said "we need to talk." And I would find out what action of mine failed to live up to the standards of Greek Life. And since she didn't do that, it makes me think she knew what it was and it was valid.

[AOII Angel]

I doubt that the letter is why she's not in a group. It may be a convenient way to cover something else that the Panhel President found out and did not want to discuss with her. What group would give private MS information (ie. the letter) to the Panhel Pres just because she was snooping around for information to why they did not give a PNM a bid. I agree with 33girl that the letter would still not effect her chances with the other groups. That's not how it works. OP, they should have never told you any of this because it is more hateful than not knowing at all. when people make up lies to try to spare others feelings, it often makes things worse. The answer should have been, "I'm sorry things didn't work out for you, but I cannot discuss the specifics." honestly, she can't because even as Panhell President, she doesn't know the specifics of why you were released from any group other than HERS. #1- I can guarantee that except for DZ it isn't true. #2- unfortunately- relationship dynamics play a part in membership selection at some chapters. When you room with an upper classman and things don't go so well (even if you think they do) it can spell disaster for your recruitment. #3- move on. Enjoy the rest of your college experience.

[SoCalGirl]

To the OP: Were you aware of any issues with the suitemate before you were told about the letter?

[ellebud]

I am a friend of the mother of one of the girls who did this at a large greek system on the other side of the United States. There was bad blood between the daughter and this girl from high school. Despite her mother's asking to let it go the daughter read her letter to us. It was sent to all the houses, including her own. Daughter wanted it all "on the record". (And yes, we leave the west coast...occasionally).

The other occasion was for a local SoCal university and the author was a friend of one of my daughter's. The letter was read at chapter during pre rush. It was brutal.

Not a "I heard from great Aunt Sallie's best friend Agnes' third cousin."

[Old_Row]

Who writes letters anymore?

[33girl]

Unless you were at membership selection for those chapters....you really don't know why the women were cut.

PERIOD.

Oh, and it appears that your friend isn't a very good mother if she raised a daughter that would waste her time doing something so malicious.

Not to mention you might want to take a second look at your own daughter's friends.

[ellebud]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Unless you were at membership selection for those chapters....you really don't know why the women were cut.

PERIOD.

Oh, and it appears that your friend isn't a very good mother if she raised a daughter that would waste her time doing something so malicious.

Not to mention you might want to take a second look at your own daughter's friends.

So...you demand to know how I know something....you don't like the answer because nastiness never happens in the world of teenagers or young women. (Let us return to the nastiness of Wary's daughter's recruitment...I went back to check on her name) so you respond with a nasty retort about my friends and my parenting.

I believe that regarding the former you might dissuade yourself that all the women involve in sororities are nice and Panhellenic. Regarding the latter, you owe me an apology.

[Greek_or_Geek?]

The hardest part of this story to believe is how the OP continues to say that there was no bad blood between her and the letter writer, the letter writer thought she was fun and hilarious and told others she was blah blah blah. Then out of the blue she writes this letter to the mystical all knowing power of Greek life. Something happened.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ellebud

So...you demand to know how I know something....you don't like the answer because nastiness never happens in the world of teenagers or young women. (Let us return to the nastiness of Wary's daughter's recruitment...I went back to check on her name) so you respond with a nasty retort about my friends and my parenting.

I believe that regarding the former you might dissuade yourself that all the women involve in sororities are nice and Panhellenic. Regarding the latter, you owe me an apology.

LOL. I'm sorry your daughter is friends with an immature witch who considers it fun to ruin someone else's college experience. I'm sorry your friend has a daughter who is an immature witch who considers it fun to ruin someone else's college experience.

I'm not saying "nastiness" never happens - just that UNLESS YOU ARE IN THE ROOM, AND SOMETIMES EVEN THEN, YOU DON'T KNOW WHY SOMEONE DIDN'T GET A BID. If your friend's witch daughter and your daughter's witch friend want to believe they did it all on their own, well, good for them. They can put it on their resumes.

And I looked up that Wary thread, and from what I remember, we were cautioning her to STFU so as not to ruin her daughter's rush. If it was horrible and mean of us to think of her daughter when she apparently felt it more important to spout out personal information and show us how "well informed" she was, well, I guess we're big old meanies then. Apparently there were creepy stalkers saying what the daughter was wearing and such, but I have a hard time believing they would have started piping up had Wary not been such a bia to begin with.

Buy the ticket, take the ride. Next.

[28StGreek]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Unless you were at membership selection for those chapters....you really don't know why the women were cut.

In a world where the CIA/FBI/Justice Department can't keep secrets, do you really believe that melodramatic, catty, and sometimes bitchy young women could keep something particularly scandalous a secret even under the auspices of chapter or membership selection?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by 28StGreek

In a world where the CIA/FBI/Justice Department can't keep secrets, do you really believe that melodramatic, catty, and sometimes bitchy young women could keep something particularly scandalous a secret even under the auspices of chapter or membership selection?

No, but I believe that the average chapter member actually has no idea how invite lists are constructed.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by ellebud

I am a friend of the mother of one of the girls who did this at a large greek system on the other side of the United States. There was bad blood between the daughter and this girl from high school. Despite her mother's asking to let it go the daughter read her letter to us. It was sent to all the houses, including her own. Daughter wanted it all "on the record". (And yes, we leave the west coast...occasionally).

This is insane. If we ever got a letter from someone who wasn't in our own chapter, accusing a PNM of bad behavior, true or not, I would think the letter-writer was a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

[AZTheta]

It's Membership Selection; the nitty gritty of how it happened in this scenario, and what really transpired, we won't ever know. I hardly think the OP is going to out herself on this thread. I'm on the fence about the veracity of the OP, myself.

Fact of the matter to me is that the OP is unlikely to receive a bid from her preferred chapter, DZ. There are five other chapters at her school, and, from all appearances, she has essentially rejected them all (including her legacy chapter) in favor of DZ for two years running.

I'm with ellebud and gee_ess. You better believe people talk and bad things happen. I know first-hand of similar situations on my own campus. HOWEVER I am not about to blast it all over the Internet. Discretion... for the love of Mike, discretion. Don't bother asking me, I am a Scorpio, I'll never tell.

And parents have minimal input/influence into/on their (adult) children's behavior or friendships. Oh God, don't get me started on that.

Old_Row, I still write letters and send a lot of notes and cards as well. When you have a friend who's incarcerated for life, that is the best way to communicate between visits. And I've found that people enjoy receiving hand-written notes. I know I do!

[FSUZeta]

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