Do you like his friends?/Do you like her friends?

[I2K Beta Mu]

^^^Goddamn LOL! Cheerful, you are cool as fuck, but you are high-maintenance as hell. Dude's job gotta be tight, his family gotta be tight, his friends gotta be tight, damn, you leave no room for error. I feel what Tony was saying. Some of the shit you posted I'm cool with, but with some of it I'm not. You're one of those high-maintenance/high class females. No offense to you, but I hate females like that. Some of these females need to come off of that high-horse, for real. That's not directed to you Cheerful, it's just how I generally feel.

Originally Posted by SydneyK

Glad we're cool.


When you're just dating, that's one thing. But as soon as you start talking marriage or long-term then, to an extent, you are with them. Especially if you and your SO have children together.

I get along with my hubby's family, and my family all get along with my hubby. My brother's wife, OTOH, is a piece of work. It's sometimes difficult for my parents to feel like they're as involved as they'd like to be with their grandchildren because of the friction between them (my folks) and my sis-in-law. Christmas, for instance, often becomes less about having fun as a family and more about walking around on eggshells.

It may not be an issue for you now. And, depending on how things go for you and Brandi in particular, it may not be an issue in the future. But, you really do marry the family.

/my two cents

I feel you, but I think it's also my choice if I want to fuck with her family. You feel me? I can just stay at home if I don't want to be around her family or if they don't want to be around me. I feel what you're saying and agree, but if her family is trippin on me, that's cool. As long as she's cool with me and the two of us are getting along, I'm good with that. I don't have to see her family every day. You feel me?

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by I2K Beta Mu

^^^Goddamn LOL! Cheerful, you are cool as fuck, but you are high-maintenance as hell. Dude's job gotta be tight, his family gotta be tight, his friends gotta be tight, damn, you leave no room for error. I feel what Tony was saying. Some of the shit you posted I'm cool with, but with some of it I'm not. You're one of those high-maintenance/high class females. No offense to you, but I hate females like that. Some of these females need to come off of that high-horse, for real. That's not directed to you Cheerful, it's just how I generally feel.

No, I'm not "high-maintenance" at all, but I do feel that I am a together woman, therefore the person I choose to build a future with needs to be a together man. With the "high-class" comment, what might be "high-class" to you, might be everyday, normal living to me.

There's always room for "error" because we all make mistakes which comes with relationships. I've never been married, so I don't know what being married is like, yet. However, I do know that the important things to help me through most of the trials and tribulations that come with it are Biblical teaching, a man who also follows the Word of God, the things I was taught and raised with, and understanding that my relationship with my mate is only as good as my relationship with God.

Whether both you and Tony choose to accept/agree with "some" of what I've said, all of what I've said, or whether you choose to dismiss it entirely is up to you. Either way, my convictions on this topic will remain the same.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

With the "high-class" comment, what might be "high-class" to you, might be everyday, normal living to me.

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

And I meant and strongly believe in everything I said.

LOL

[DrPhil]

I think TonyB06 and cheerfulgreek are saying the same thing with different words.

[TonyB06]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I think TonyB06 and cheerfulgreek are saying the same thing with different words.

Pretty much. I think CG and I differ in the matter of degree. IMO as people mature (40s), generational influences, to the extent they still matter, probably matter much less.

Accordingly, my view of my finance, what moves her and what she's likely to do in a particular situation vis-a-vis family/friend, is much clearer. As is her view/expectation for me also.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

Pretty much. I think CG and I differ in the matter of degree. IMO as people mature (40s), generational influences, to the extent they still matter, probably matter much less.

Accordingly, my view of my finance, what moves her and what she's likely to do in a particular situation vis-a-vis family/friend, is much clearer. As is her view/expectation for me also.

Yeah, I agree with both you and cheerfulgreek because life consists of different degrees. We learn something new about ourselves and others almost daily.

rant/

All of our degrees vary as our experiences vary. It is easy to know all of the answers to our life's problems when things are going well/seem perfect. Sure, "I would never date a person who has these kinds of friends" and "I would never date a person from this type of family" works when our life partner's friends and family are awesome. What happens once we fall in love and our increased interaction with friends and family reveal a little crazy going on. LOL. We expect our life partners to handle that but even then it will not always fit into a peaceful puzzle.

Either way, change can happen quickly and we can find ourselves tolerating things that we never had to tolerate before. We can find ourselves accepting things that our "textbook of life" told us we would never accept. Things that once made sense or sounded so ideal can change in terms of practical application. Things that did not make sense and were not ideal can become practical. We truly do not know what the future holds and we (including super spiritual people who God has anointed and appointed as the Holy Bible of humanity) can learn a great deal about our life partners after we get married, etc. that can make us say "damn, how'd I miss this."

/rant

[I2K Beta Mu]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

No, I'm not "high-maintenance" at all, but I do feel that I am a together woman, therefore the person I choose to build a future with needs to be a together man.

CTFU! okay I feel you. That's good shit, though. I guess you wouldn't fuck with me then. If I went on a date with you, you would run me off LOL. I'm spiritual too because I read my bible from time to time and I do go to church, just not as often as I would like to. My girl gets all into that, so I'm trying to break the cycle. She's been going to church every Sunday lately. She wants me to go too, and I have been sometimes, but her pastor is boring as hell. Dude wants everybody to get up and dance down the isle n shit. I can't fuck with that. For real though Cheerful, you're deep as hell.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by I2K Beta Mu

I guess you wouldn't fuck with me then. If I went on a date with you, you would run me off LOL.

**awkward**

Originally Posted by I2K Beta Mu

For real though Cheerful, you're deep as hell.

What she is saying is actually quite basic for those who believe as she does. You simply are not one of those people.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by I2K Beta Mu

CTFU! okay I feel you. That's good shit, though. I guess you wouldn't fuck with me then. If I went on a date with you, you would run me off LOL. I'm spiritual too because I read my bible from time to time and I do go to church, just not as often as I would like to. My girl gets all into that, so I'm trying to break the cycle. She's been going to church every Sunday lately. She wants me to go too, and I have been sometimes, but her pastor is boring as hell. Dude wants everybody to get up and dance down the isle n shit. I can't fuck with that. For real though Cheerful, you're deep as hell.

Nah, you're just a funny, entertaining username to me.

I don't know what kind of relationship you have with God. The relationship you have with God is between you and Him.

For me, yes, I have gone out on many dates before I connected with Mr. and most of those men got rid of themselves. The others, I told them that it wasn't working out, and that I just wanted to keep it on an associate/classmate level. I mean, I wasn't judging them or anything, it's just that it's a lot more than just being "spiritual" for me. The connection should be something a lot deeper than a man "knowing" about Jesus or simply being "spiritual". When I said that he has to be on the same spiritual page as me, I was a referring to my page, and not someone else's. Someone else's "spiritual page" might look a lot different from mine.

When I was in the so called "dating scene", the men who I was considering had to be more than just "spiritual". For me, the man that I chose to connect with needed to be involved with and accountable to God, not just claiming to be "spiritual" and knowing about the Bible. Psalms 1 clearly talks about a godly man, and I wasn't settling for anything less than that. It's just that I believe the accountability factor is huge, because if he won't break the heart of God, then I know he won't break mine, either. I didn't see that in the men I was dating, not until I met Mr. I just think that it's all about being able to meet and connect with the right person, not just with that person alone, but that person's entire life.

You should read Psalms 1 when you get some time. Any man who isn't that, isn't for me.

eta: thank you for the compliment.

[I2K Beta Mu]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

**awkward**

CTFU! It's not like that. I was just fuckin with her. Plus, I don't even know what she looks like.