Want to be married by the age of 30?

[Munchkin03]

Or else she really isn't ready to settle down with someone and is subconsciously coming up with "dealbreakers."

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

She's overweight and average-looking, but I think she is a fantastic person to be around. She refuses to go online for a date and she just complains that she can't meet anyone that fulfills her qualifications of being "tall, built, a gorgeous face, and smart with a good job". I mean, she will summarily dismiss someone she sees, saying things like "No, I don't want to go and say hi, his nose looks a little crooked" or "He's drinking dark beer, ew!" I'm trying to figure out a way to tactfully say that she should lower her expectations a bit.....

I could find a gazillion guys that do this, yet women are expected to meet their crazy expectations rather than the men lower theirs. I'm so tired of hearing guys point out a woman with a lovely body as "fat!" or a woman with a pretty face as "So not cute!" or "Just OK." Really guys? You, the average-at-best looking sales guy think you "deserve" a Victoria's Secret model? Example: the other day we were over at some friends' house and The Hand that Rocks the Cradle was on TV. One of the guys commented that he thought Rebecca De Mornay was ugly. If you think Rebecca De Mornay is in any way ugly, you have issues.

[DrPhil]

There's no universal beauty, but I think SHE is beautiful.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by jennyj87

I have to tell myself that everyday since I'm never graduating college. But this brings up an interesting discussion.
Out of all my friends in high school versus college, it seems my greek life friends are getting married a lot sooner than my nongreek life friends.

True/false?

But other factors are there too. I'm now in the "south" so apparently you guys get married younger down here? Which I have noticed a lot more people in my classes getting married than ones up north who I went to HS with.

I had no idea people of average college age (18-22) got married in college, then I moved to Idaho and it is normal here. A majority of these kids are Mormons or super conservative Christians, so you have a short engagement and get married to have babies ASAP, and the wedding usually happens after the man gets back from his mission. They finish college and if he goes to graduate school she supports him and if they don't already have kids she stops any outside of the home work when the baby comes. It still freaks me out, who would want to be married in college? A lot of the amazing stuff I did couldn't have happened with a spouse or kids.

Sure there are older non-trads who are in school and married, but marriage before you can buy alcohol, rent a car, or buy a handgun seems so lame and foreign to me.

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

There's no universal beauty, but I think SHE is beautiful.

Right, we all have different tastes, but C'MON!

[VandalSquirrel]

Hell no! it would ruin my current look of spinster with two cats who also knits and is considering a professional graduate degree in librarianship.

That reminds me, time to get an eye exam for some new cat eye glasses and I need a haircut because my bun is just getting unruly.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

Hell no! it would ruin my current look of spinster with two cats who also knits and is considering a professional graduate degree in librarianship.

That reminds me, time to get an eye exam for some new cat eye glasses and I need a haircut because my bun is just getting unruly.

YES. I make cat, spinster, future Ph. D. student jokes all the time. Although I don't know if an Ed. S. to Ph. D. program in a mental health field is "spinster" enough. Think I need to keep looking.

I would tend to agree with you, there are A WHOLE LOT of really great things that woldn't have happened if I were married in undergrad.

It sounds so silly, but I think about married girls who are trying to go through recruitment and they come here for rush advice. They're headed to some of the most traditional Greek Life schools in the country and thinking they'll be able to join. Even at my kind of crazy school, chapters were not very interested in married girls. Sure they were open to some non-traditionals (maybe 23, 24, a transfer) but we were still a very traditional school with Greek housing, and chapters knew that married girls were not going to live-in.

Sure, sorority is not LIFE. But that's a part of college I for sure wouldn't have been able to experience as a married student. Married folk have to worry about what hubby is going to eat, and from 18-21 it was all T-Bell and microwaved stuff. lol.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

I could find a gazillion guys that do this, yet women are expected to meet their crazy expectations rather than the men lower theirs. I'm so tired of hearing guys point out a woman with a lovely body as "fat!" or a woman with a pretty face as "So not cute!" or "Just OK." Really guys? You, the average-at-best looking sales guy think you "deserve" a Victoria's Secret model? Example: the other day we were over at some friends' house and The Hand that Rocks the Cradle was on TV. One of the guys commented that he thought Rebecca De Mornay was ugly. If you think Rebecca De Mornay is in any way ugly, you have issues.

1000 guys may think she is fine but there will be one who can't stand her...or however that line goes, you know what I'm saying....LOL

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

1000 guys may think she is fine but there will be one who can't stand her...or however that line goes, you know what I'm saying....LOL

True.

And she did look a little...off...at times during that movie. I wouldn't go as far as "ugly," but she certainly wasn't "GAATDAAAMN" fine in that movie.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

1000 guys may think she is fine but there will be one who can't stand her...or however that line goes, you know what I'm saying....LOL

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

I had no idea people of average college age (18-22) got married in college, then I moved to Idaho and it is normal here. A majority of these kids are Mormons or super conservative Christians, so you have a short engagement and get married to have babies ASAP, and the wedding usually happens after the man gets back from his mission. They finish college and if he goes to graduate school she supports him and if they don't already have kids she stops any outside of the home work when the baby comes. It still freaks me out, who would want to be married in college? A lot of the amazing stuff I did couldn't have happened with a spouse or kids.

One of my HS classmates went to BYU and got married at like, 20. Even in my traditional Southern town, people were shocked because usually the girls waited for a year after graduation. But, I guess it was the expected thing to do at BYU. She ended up getting divorced two years later--I guess it had to have been pretty bad to get divorced so soon.

[KSUViolet06]

I was involved with a women's religious service org on campus in undergrad. I came back for an alumnae event and was meeting some of the newest girls. They were introducing themselves and sharing a "fun fact" about themselves. Ex: "Hi, I'm Suzie and I went to Germany this past summer."

One freshman girl introduced herself and said "Hi I'm Becky and I got married this weekend."

Later in the evening, we were talking and another undergrad asked where she went for her honeymoon.

Her answer: "Oh we didn't get one because he had a Sociology 10001 final on Monday." She also mentioned that she and hubby were suitemates in one of the co-ed dorms.

If you know my school, married students are def not the norm (even for the students who are involved in religious activities). So that was a pretty interesting scenario.

In contrast, there's a private school less than an hour away where very many of the girls are married at some point through school.

I rather enjoy the fact that I didn't have a hubby-roomie in school. Hubby-roomie wouldn't have enjoyed the fact that I couldn't cook for beans and came home late on Thursdays. lol.

[Xidelt]

Um, why didn't Becky and her husband get an on-campus apt for married students? Or any apartment for that matter? Most schools have housing for students in her situation and it doesn't involve sharing a microwave with other freshmen.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Xidelt

Um, why didn't Becky and her husband get an on-campus apt for married students? Or any apartment for that matter? Most schools have housing for students in her situation and it doesn't involve sharing a microwave with other freshmen.

I have no idea. We DO have that here. Maybe she wanted the college experience? lol.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

She's overweight and average-looking, but I think she is a fantastic person to be around. She refuses to go online for a date and she just complains that she can't meet anyone that fulfills her qualifications of being "tall, built, a gorgeous face, and smart with a good job".

Tell her she's not her type's type.

Originally Posted by 33girl

Or else she's been so hurt in the past that it's easier to shoot them down before they do it to her. Her "hilariousness" is just covering that up.

Srsly, this. *cough*Chilli*cough*

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I came back for an alumnae event and was meeting some of the newest girls. They were introducing themselves and sharing a "fun fact" about themselves. Ex: "Hi, I'm Suzie and I went to Germany this past summer."

On the first day of class (after a summer break) in grad school, we did that. One by one, girls stood up and said, "I'm so-and-so and I got married last week/I'm getting married next month/I'm getting married in 7 weeks/etc." After 6 or 7 girls making that announcement, I stood up and said, "Hi! I'm CG and I'm not getting married." I was very non-snarky about it. Everyone laughed and, from me on, all the single girls introduced themselves the same way.