Picky dinner guests (kids)

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by AGDee

My mom used to force feed us stuff we hated. We would have to eat as many bites as we were old. I learned to cut liver into the tiniest bites possible.

The rule in my house was you had to eat one bite of everything without making a face. If you made a face or complained, you had to eat a second bite. After that one bite, you could leave the rest on the plate.

My mother finally gave up on olives, beets and tomato aspic for me. Those were impossible. But I love liver.

ETA: MysticCat posted while I was writing this. Have you done any desensitization with him with food textures? Sometimes if you can identify which textures are a problem, you can work up to them little by little and build his tolerance.

We have, and he is getting better. The things that are proving the hardest are what he would call "slimey" (this includes mac and cheese) and "mixed" foods, like casseroles.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

The rule in my house was you had to eat one bite of everything without making a face. If you made a face or complained, you had to eat a second bite. After that one bite, you could leave the rest on the plate.

My mother finally gave up on olives, beets and tomato aspic for me. Those were impossible. But I love liver.

We have, and he is getting better. The things that are proving the hardest are what he would call "slimey" (this includes mac and cheese) and "mixed" foods, like casseroles.

My mother never gave up on any of it. She insisted that if I kept eating things I would eventually like them. I am a VERY picky eater and now have severe restrictions due to Crohn's on top of that pickiness.

I don't blame him on the casseroles. I can't stand different food groups to be mixed together.. it's my OCD quirk. I have lots of strange food "rules" for myself. It makes me squeamish to eat two different color m&m's at the same time. Yes, I know they taste the same and I wouldn't know if I didn't see them, but it makes me really anxious to do it..lol. But for him, it's simply a matter of too many different tactile stimuli hitting the mouth at once as well as different flavors all at the same time. It's so overstimulating to the CNS. I kind of miss my old career sometimes.

[violetpretty]

Dee, I can't believe that dentists didn't notice your son's bite problems before going to the orthodontist! Mine always checks my bite.

[CopterDad]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

And I still say there is no excuse for these kid's rudeness, which is the major problem. Mom and dad are doing them no favors letting them get away with that.
Quote:
As to little league and entitlement to play, kids just have to learn the hard way.
Fixed it for you.
__________________


Fixed it for you.

Thanks, I hate you. Still, it's the weekend and I don't see a problem getting three happy meals to squelch a drama episode, easy as pie.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I really thought I posted in this thread. Was there another like it recently? Maybe I forgot to hit the Post Quick Reply button or something.

My mom used to force feed us stuff we hated. We would have to eat as many bites as we were old. I learned to cut liver into the tiniest bites possible. I had to eat 10 lima beans when I was 10 years old. I gagged on them and it was awful. Therefore, I swore I would never do that to my kids. While I didn't make a whole separate meal, I would do things like.. if I knew one didn't like the main course but loves mac n cheese, I would have mac n cheese as a side with that meal.

That said, my son was a very very picky eater. I honestly thought he was a lazy eater because he only wanted things with loose ground beef (like tacos, sloppy joes, spaghetti sauce) or processed chicken nuggets. He wouldn't eat steak, roast beef, real chicken, turkey, pork chops, pork roast, anything with melted mozzarella, etc. He would always tell me that it choked him. I told him "You have to CHEW it". He loved meatloaf (but would mash it into tiny bits) and soft stuff, like spaghetti. The only sandwiches he would eat was peanut butter and jelly (and my daughter has a peanut allergy so that was a real chore to make without getting peanut stuff on anything else!).

Fast forward to age 10. The dentist referred both kids to orthodontics. At the initial eval, the orthodontist is showing me my son's x-rays and bite pictures. She points out that his teeth don't touch and says "I don't know how he chews to eat". Lightbulb goes on.. he CAN'T chew those foods he won't eat. That's why they choke him! So, about 18 months later, still in braces, the boy says "Something weird is going on with my teeth." And I ask him what's going on? Do they hurt? "No.. they hit each other when I close my mouth."

I busted out laughing.. "Honey, they are SUPPOSED to. They're finally in alignment."

The boy now loves pork chops, steak, roast, chicken.. and even pizza. All the things he couldn't eat before. He wasn't being picky or lazy, he physically could not chew them. Poor kid.

ETA: MysticCat posted while I was writing this. Have you done any desensitization with him with food textures? Sometimes if you can identify which textures are a problem, you can work up to them little by little and build his tolerance.

These aren't my kids; they are my sisters. Two of the three of them (the older two, 8 and 10), are beyond picky and wasteful. I was asking for advice on how to deal with them, because even when I ask them ahead of time what they want, and I prepare 2-3 different main dishes and lots of sides, they complain, toss their food (I've found it in my couch cushions), or mangle and leave it so that we have to throw it away.

Thanks for the advice!!

[ISUKappa]

Originally Posted by CopterDad

Thanks, I hate you. Still, it's the weekend and I don't see a problem getting three happy meals to squelch a drama episode, easy as pie.

Personally, then I feel the kids are getting "rewarded" for being difficult. Sure, it may make it easier for the mom and ree, but the kids aren't learning manners.

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

These aren't my kids; they are my sisters. Two of the three of them (the older two, 8 and 10), are beyond picky and wasteful. I was asking for advice on how to deal with them, because even when I ask them ahead of time what they want, and I prepare 2-3 different main dishes and lots of sides, they complain, toss their food (I've found it in my couch cushions), or mangle and leave it so that we have to throw it away.

Thanks for the advice!!

In your couch cushions? Ugh.

[AGDee]

I will say that, although I tried to make sure my son had some things he would eat at each meal, when we were going somewhere, I often gave him a sandwich ahead of time, knowing that he wouldn't eat most of what was being served. He knew better than to say anything rude, even to his aunts or grandparents!

[aephi alum]

When I was growing up, my mother NEVER cooked anything different or special for me. When I was small, if she was making a spicy curry, she'd pull out a portion for me before adding the hot spices. But that was it. If my mother decided to make dhal, I didn't get Kraft dinner or chicken nuggets, I got dhal. If we visited family or friends for dinner, I ate what was served, or else.

ree-xi, if I were you, I'd stop inviting your sister and the kids over for dinner. She has overindulged and spoiled them, and now they're brats - and you should not have to suffer for it.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by CopterDad

Thanks, I hate you. Still, it's the weekend and I don't see a problem getting three happy meals to squelch a drama episode, easy as pie.

You're most welcome.

We've done the sandwich thing AGDee described. And I can see the Happy Meal thing as an ocassional thing -- I've done it. But there's a right way and a wrong way to do it. And the Happy Meals should be an exception, not the rule. The way to squelch the drama is to teach the kids that the drama will not be tolerated; dancing around them because it's easier doesn't help anyone.

I think ree's problem is they tell her what they want and then don't eat and complain about it. As I've said, I don't think the real issue is that they're picky eaters. The issue is their parents are allowing them to be rude and inconsiderate. That's a real disservice to those kids -- and to their future friends and significant others.

[RU OX Alum]

Yeah, not mention...Ree-Xi, if you have anyone you live with they can't be happy when your sister comes to visit.

Food in the couch cushions? Wow. That is so wrong. It sounds harsh, but I agree with those that say stop inviting them. Your furniture should not have food in it.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

(I've found it in my couch cushions)

Yeah... I'd stop inviting them completely and no longer think I'm a heartless bitch for saying that.

[honeychile]

Nobody's brought up a big point - these immature fussy eaters still get dessert? We always had to try everything, then actually make a meal out of anything we liked. If we didn't, no dessert for us. Dessert is not necessary, it is a treat.

My mother was visiting her cousins when she was about 4-5, and she & her mother were invited to dinner. Then they announced, "We're having tongue!" My grandmother gave "the look" to my mother, and my mother knew at that age that she was about to eat tongue.

She, in turn, told my brother & I that we may grow up to be diplomats or missionaries, so we needed to at least try different foods. And I have multiple food allergies. She just didn't believe in being rude, ever.

[bostongreek]

If kids are getting to choose their menu, and obviously they're going to choose fatty, greasy foods, no wonder there's a childhood obesity epidemic.

[RaggedyAnn]

AGDee and MysticCat, you had it easy LOL. There were children starving in Ethiopia, so we had to everything on our plate; thankfully, she served in appropriate portions. I just learned the least amount of times I had to chew in order to swallow the food I didn't like. I also feel real guilty still about not finishing what I put on my plate, so I much prefer family style meals. I felt really bad though this past Easter. My SIL made this carrot based soup that was just aweful and I couldn't stomach more than 1/4 of the bowl.

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

These aren't my kids; they are my sisters. Two of the three of them (the older two, 8 and 10), are beyond picky and wasteful. I was asking for advice on how to deal with them, because even when I ask them ahead of time what they want, and I prepare 2-3 different main dishes and lots of sides, they complain, toss their food (I've found it in my couch cushions), or mangle and leave it so that we have to throw it away.

Yah, no. My three year old nephew decided to stomp a strawberry into my carpet last summer and got a triple reprimand. Andy and I told him no and set down the rules. When Mom found out later, she was so embarrassed/mad; he got the discussion. The 8 and 10 year olds would have got a cleaning invitation from me. It's okay to set down the law in your own house. My family still keeps coming over and my neices and nephews never want to leave. When we go to their house they get all excited to see us. That's just disrespectful. I hope you let their mother know what they do.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by RaggedyAnn

It's okay to set down the law in your own house.

This. It's not only okay, it's appropriate.

And sorry you had to eat everything on the plate.