know any good jokes...

[MaMaBuddha]

What's the difference between Peewee Herman and O.J.?

It only took 12 jerks to get O.J. off.

[Serenity]

A honeymooning couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington.

The bride is concerned about the room being bugged.

The groom says, "I'll look for a bug."

He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug. "A-HA!" Under the rug was a disc with four screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, and throws them and the disc out the window.

The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds, "How was your room? How was the service? How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?"

The groom says, "Why are you asking me all of these questions?"

The hotel manager says, "Well, the room under you complained of the chandelier falling on them!"

------------------
Sigma Lambda Upsilon: Sincerity, Loyalty, Unity http://www.sigmalambdaupsilon.org

[This message has been edited by Serenity (edited July 26, 2000).]

[elboogie22]

Yeah Deltabrat. I'm pretty sure I got it still lmaootctswfahmf hahaha

[SkeeBunny]

Here's a funny one on materialistic women!


A woman parked her brand-new Lexus in front of her office, ready to show it off to her colleagues. As she got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side. The woman immediately grabbed her cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes, a policeman pulled up.

Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the woman started screaming hysterically. Her Lexus, which she had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.

When the woman finally wound down from her ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.

"I can't believe how materialistic you women are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the woman.

The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"My God!" screamed the woman. "Where's my tennis bracelet?"

[DELTABRAT]

SkeeBunny:

I LOVE that one. That was tooo hilarious.

elBoogie: Go head girl!!!

Serenity and Soror Buddha...too funny as well.

Keep them coming. I LOVE jokes. Too bad I don't know any

[SkeeBunny]

Ok, here's another:

A rich white guy decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited a few of his buddies. He also invited Leroy, the only black guest at the party. He held the party in the backyard of his mansion.

Everybody was having a good time drinking, dancing, talking to the ladies. At the height of the party, the rich white guy said, "I have a man-eating alligator in my pool and I will give anyone a million dollars if he is man enough to jump in."

All of a sudden there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool! HE WAS FIGHTING THE ALLIGATOR AND KICKING IT'S ASS. He was doing head butts, jabs, chokeholds, all kinds of moves. Water was splashing, the alligator was screaming. Leroy finally strangled the alligator and it sunk to the bottom. Leroy then slowly got out of the pool.

Everybody was just staring at him. The rich white guy said, "Damn......I guess I owe you a million dollars..."

Leroy said,"No, that's okay."

The rich white guy said, "Man, I have to give you something, you won the bet. How about half a million?" Leroy said no. The rich white guy said "Come on, I insist on giving you something......how about stock options....a Rolex......maybe a Porsche....?

Again, Leroy said "No".

The confused rich white guy said, "Well Leroy, what do you want?"

Leroy said," I just want the muthafucka who pushed me in the pool."



[This message has been edited by SkeeBunny (edited July 26, 2000).]

[thatgirl]

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic
tranquillity had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. "We visited
the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said 'That's once'. We proceeded a little further and the mule
stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her pocket and shot the mule dead. I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said "That's once."

[elboogie22]

Well here is one of my jokes Its a little on the nasty side, but we're all grown

Okay....There was a white man, a black man, and an asian man. They were staying at a hotel on business and had one king sized bed. They all had to sleep in the same bed so the black man slept on the left, the white man slept in the middle, and the asian man slept on the left.

Well....the next morning everyone started telling each other about their dreams

Black man: "Man, I dreamnt that I got off last night"

Asian man: "Man, I had the exact same dream"

White man: " Well thats funny because I dreamnt I was skiing"

Sorry, but I thought that was too funny lmao!!

I have plenty more where that came from so let me knnow if you want to hear them--just beware

[This message has been edited by elboogie22 (edited July 26, 2000).]

[DELTABRAT]

elBoogie:

You are WRONG for that. Truth be told, it took me awhile. First I though the actual skis, then I realized it was the poles...lmaorotfctswfmf (you know what I'm saying )

[Sexy Mocha]

Pretty tasteless but funny nonetheless

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight, and tomorrow your wish will come true!" Billy says, "O.k. mommy" and goes to sleep. The next morning Billy wakes up screaming "Mommy, I'm still blind! My wish didn't come true!!" The mother answers "I know, April Fools!"


What dos Woody Allen call an unborn baby?
-A blind date


Where do you find a no legged dog?
-Right where you left him

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?
- She screamed her hands off!!

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
_ From a catalog

[MaMaBuddha]

A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters,
decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later,
delivered a baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son,
but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby.

He went to his wife and said, "I cannot possibly
be the father of that hideous child. Look at the two
beautiful daughters I fathered."

When his wife blushed, he became suspicious,
and demanded, "Have you been fooling around on me?"

His wife confessed, "Not this time."

[prospectiverushee]

A blond decides to try horseback riding,even thought she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse innediately springs into action. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace,but the blond begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane,but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along seeming unaware of it's slipping rider. Finally giving up her frail grip,she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

Her head is being battered against the ground,she is mere moments from unconsciousness when to her great fortune....


The Wal-Mart manager sees her and shuts the horse off!

[MaMaBuddha]

I was helping someone set up his computer, and he wanted to log in with password....now you have to understand he's got somewhat of a rebellious attitude and goes for the shock effect...so when the computer asked him to
enter his password, he keys in "penis"...
I nearly fell off the chair from laughing so hard when the computer
replied:
*** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH ***
*** PLEASE TRY A NEW ONE ***


for those of you who don't get it, a NT password must be at least eight
characters!!!

[MaMaBuddha]

elboogie....huh??

[MaMaBuddha]

oooooooohhhhhh...i get it!!!