Drop out or be persistent?

[SydneyK]

I'm going to respond, even though I'm sure everyone who has called you a troll is right.

Originally Posted by Green+White

Why is the pledging ceremony considered as a closed ritual? We don't learn any secrets of our sorority yet.

For that matter, why isn't your pledging ceremony open to the rest of campus? Why not invite your whole family to attend? It is considered closed because it is the first time NMs are welcomed, officially, to the practices of the sisterhood. It isn't meant for anyone other than initiated sisters and those who will someday be the same. Your kids weren't extended a bid, so the pledging ceremony isn't for them.

Originally Posted by Green+White

I have my priorities straight.

I beg to differ. When it comes to participation in a sorority, your priorities should include your sisters' (in your case, your future sisters') feelings. It doesn't appear that you're doing that.

If you cannot afford a babysitter during sorority functions, you shouldn't be going to sorority functions. Simple as that. Kids don't have any business being there, and it diminishes the experience for all the women who did get a babysitter (or don't have kids). You're being unfair... to everyone... including your kids.

[Ilaria Ame]

how old are your kids? and it doesn't take a dumb child to get burned, just a bored one. no matter how well behaved they are, i'm sorry--it's NOT appropriate for them to be present at rituals. you have to realize that you are not the only one affected. it's not fair to the girls you are initiating with to have a different experience than all the other pledge classes just because one girl needed to bring her kids. maybe you can work something out with a friend on campus that would be available in a pinch?

...wait...you WORK too? how the...whatever. i guess if you work hard enough you CAN have it all. but let me tell you something. there's this woman who is an interest for my sorority right now. she's fantastic; never misses anything--one of our favorite girls to go on. yet she has 2 young children. thing is...she WAITED until she was at a point in her life that her children wouldn't be a factor in her sorority experience. i don't understand why you wouldn't want to do the same. your sorority is such a personal thing...i don't get why you feel your children should be part of it.

[fantASTic]

Did the women you talked to during recruitment know you have two small children whom you would be bringing with you?

[AOE2AlphaPhi]

The sorority accepted you, not your children. I can imagine my chapter taking a woman who had children if she were a good fit, however I cannot imagine that we would allow her to bring her children to chapter. Sorority business concerns the members of a sorority, and it is no more apropriate to bring children to closed meetings than friends in different organizations, or your mother. If you can't afford a babysitter, you should reevaluate your expensive decision to pay dues to a sorority.

Originally Posted by AOE2AlphaPhi

The sorority accepted you, not your children.

Bolded, underlined, italicized, Size 7-ed.

Do yourself and the chapter a favor.

DROP OUT.

[AOII Angel]

Reality check! Green+white...I can assure you that no matter how perfect you think your kids are, no one else thinks so. Apparently they are causing more of a problem than you think! As for the pledge ceremony....it is ritual...it is private, and as a pledge, you have no right to make judgements otherwise. Accept what the leaders of your sorority have told you or quit. It's that simple!

[kddani]

Troll.

If not, someone call Child & Protective Services in OP's state. She has no business taking young children to greek parties.

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by kddani

Troll.

If not, someone call Child & Protective Services in OP's state. She has no business taking young children to greek parties.

I'm not sure she is taking them to greek parties, but at no time should they be there during ritual

If you are a troll....please leave.

[als463]

Originally Posted by kddani

Troll.

If not, someone call Child & Protective Services in OP's state. She has no business taking young children to greek parties.

Personally, as a caseworker for Children & Youth-I agree....Why do parents think that because their child wears name brand clothes yet, they can't FEED them properly or care for their medical expenses then they must be great parents!!! After walking into more Deplorable home conditions than I can shake a stick at-I'm really disgusted at HOW MANY parents really need to re-prioritize. I have clients that can't afford a babysitter to ensure proper supervision so we don't go knocking on their door but, you better bet they have more food in their fridge and nicer clothes on their back than people with jobs, college degrees, etc.

If you can't balance both, it's not fair to the other girls-I agree with what has been said and I'm gonna' speak up-DROP OUT!!!

You wouldn't take your children to work with you (for the most part) so they could sit around and do nothing. So why would you take them to a sorority event. I applaud you for wanting to get involved but, if you have to choose between feeding your kids and finding them proper supervision over paying sorority dues-then you better take care of your kids....other wise-if you were in my county-I'd come knocking at your door making you sign a safety agreement or placing your children because you obviously think it's okay to take them to sorority events (which I'm sure we all know SOME EVENTS have alcohol)....and if you're doing anything inappropriate around your children-eventually you will have a caseworker knocking at your door....Trust me....

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by als463

Personally, as a caseworker for Children & Youth-I agree....Why do parents think that because their child wears name brand clothes yet, they can't FEED them properly or care for their medical expenses then they must be great parents!!! After walking into more Deplorable home conditions than I can shake a stick at-I'm really disgusted at HOW MANY parents really need to re-prioritize. I have clients that can't afford a babysitter to ensure proper supervision so we don't go knocking on their door but, you better bet they have more food in their fridge and nicer clothes on their back than people with jobs, college degrees, etc.

If you can't balance both, it's not fair to the other girls-I agree with what has been said and I'm gonna' speak up-DROP OUT!!!

You wouldn't take your children to work with you (for the most part) so they could sit around and do nothing. So why would you take them to a sorority event. I applaud you for wanting to get involved but, if you have to choose between feeding your kids and finding them proper supervision over paying sorority dues-then you better take care of your kids....other wise-if you were in my county-I'd come knocking at your door making you sign a safety agreement or placing your children because you obviously think it's okay to take them to sorority events (which I'm sure we all know SOME EVENTS have alcohol)....and if you're doing anything inappropriate around your children-eventually you will have a caseworker knocking at your door....Trust me....

I second that.

I don't care how wonderfully behaved "dear daughter and dear son" are (WTH do people call their kids that anyway???!?!) they DO NOT BELONG AT SORORITY FUNCTIONS PERIOD!

Once? OK, fine. But every time????

That's like taking your kids to work with you from the first "Bring your kid to work day" until the day you retire.

[MaggieXi]

We had an advisor bring her kids occassionally to a chapter meeting, but they were like 10 and sat in the back and did their homework or played quietly on their game boy. But, she was and advisor -- not an active sister and obviously not involved in some of the more social aspects of the sorority.

If, when I was going through my new member period and someone kept bringing their 2 kids -- no matter how old or how good, it would get annoying and I would feel like my new member period was being ruined by this chick and her kids -- who shouldn't be there.

I think you should talk to your exec board (or whatever your glo calls them) and if you are unable to come up with a reasonable solution, then drop out.

And seriously, if you can't afford to pay $20 for a babysitter to watch your kids for 2 hours while you are at pinning or at a meeting, then you really need to check your prioroities!

[amanda6035]

Good lord, this reminds me of my new member (colony) period. We had a 37 year old single mom who pledged with us. Which was fine and good. But instead of acting like a sister, she acted like our Mom. And anytime we tried to make plans, do socials, plan events "I cant, I have to take care of my daughter, that time isn't good for me, blah blah blah." It was always about her daughter. She depledged not too long afterwards...and then tried to join an NPHC. I hear that didnt go too well either.

I agree with the other folks, Get your priorities in line: Your children. The members of the sorority jou joined (notice, i did not call them your sisters) want women they can call a sister - not someone who's going to bring her kids to chapter meetings. if you want something like that, find a playgroup and mingle with the parents there.

These women are in college - they want to experience college for themselves - rather than having to worry about being a babysitter. I'm sure if they wanted screaming brats around all the time, they would have had some of their own already.

No disrespect to women who join orgs as older women - I was 23 when I joined....but those women should know their boundaries. I would have been PISSED if I had joined an organization that expected me to make my plans based around some woman's child(ren). I went to college to live life for me - not someone else.

[FSUZeta]

one more vote siding with the chapter. children should not be at sorority parties, chapter meetings or ritual. it's not fair to the children and it is selfish of you to expect your children to be able to sit still through ritual, chapter meetings and parties and selfish of you to expect the sorority members to put up with it.

[UWO_2007]

I am a single parent, my son is 10 and I would NEVER consider bringing him to ANY event.... He has a sitter on the nights I have events. All my future sisters want to meet my son, but he has no place in a greek house or at greek events. There is a time and place for everything, and that is not it. If any of my future sisters want to meet him, they can come to my personal house, not my greek family house, on their own time, not GPB time. Meetins, rituals, etc... that is time for the sisterhood.... if they want to meet my biological family... they can come over for dinner one night, if not, that's ok too. But you need to get your priorities straight and realize what is best for your kids. When my son was younger (under 5) his biological father would take him to his fraternity house, and he would sleep there. I was Pi$$ed... he had no place being there... period, and I still feel the same way now when I am the one involved.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by UWO_2007

I am a single parent, my son is 10 and I would NEVER consider bringing him to ANY event.... He has a sitter on the nights I have events. All my future sisters want to meet my son, but he has no place in a greek house or at greek events. There is a time and place for everything, and that is not it. If any of my future sisters want to meet him, they can come to my personal house, not my greek family house, on their own time, not GPB time. Meetins, rituals, etc... that is time for the sisterhood.... if they want to meet my biological family... they can come over for dinner one night, if not, that's ok too. But you need to get your priorities straight and realize what is best for your kids. When my son was younger (under 5) his biological father would take him to his fraternity house, and he would sleep there. I was Pi$$ed... he had no place being there... period, and I still feel the same way now when I am the one involved.

Psst, you're a new member right? They're not your future sisters anymore