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09-18-2007, 02:32 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Really? My husband will be SO excited to hear that. At this point he's feeling like he read 14,000 or so pages for nothing...
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09-18-2007, 02:46 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: NYC
Posts: 3,533
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If we get someone writing who never mentions:
1. the color of shawls, sleeves, jewelry, coats, overcoats, leggings
2. pulling shawls or hair
3. a woman acting like a screeching harridan
4. spankings
then I will be BEYOND pleased. Jordan was really fixated onwomen getting spanked, I'm sorry.
__________________
It may be said with rough accuracy that there are three stages in the life of a strong people. First, it is a small power, and fights small powers. Then it is a great power, and fights great powers. Then it is a great power, and fights small powers, but pretends that they are great powers, in order to rekindle the ashes of its ancient emotion and vanity.-- G.K. Chesterton
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09-18-2007, 04:06 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 13,578
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skylark
Really? My husband will be SO excited to hear that. At this point he's feeling like he read 14,000 or so pages for nothing...
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That's only what I heard, so it may be false hope, but I do know he was dictating his 12th book near the end.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelyivy84
If we get someone writing who never mentions:
1. the color of shawls, sleeves, jewelry, coats, overcoats, leggings
2. pulling shawls or hair
3. a woman acting like a screeching harridan
4. spankings
then I will be BEYOND pleased. Jordan was really fixated onwomen getting spanked, I'm sorry.
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What about a woman who didn't "sniff" at everything?
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09-18-2007, 04:24 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: NYC
Posts: 3,533
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drolefille
That's only what I heard, so it may be false hope, but I do know he was dictating his 12th book near the end.
What about a woman who didn't "sniff" at everything?
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Those sniffs are what made me stop buying the book. The only reason I read was because a friend gave up and passed all his on to me, lol.
__________________
It may be said with rough accuracy that there are three stages in the life of a strong people. First, it is a small power, and fights small powers. Then it is a great power, and fights great powers. Then it is a great power, and fights small powers, but pretends that they are great powers, in order to rekindle the ashes of its ancient emotion and vanity.-- G.K. Chesterton
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09-18-2007, 04:29 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 13,578
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Book-A-Minute
Quote:
The Eye of the World
By Robert Jordan
Ultra-Condensed by David J. Parker and Samuel Stoddard
Rand al'Thor
Tam is my father.
(Nothing happens. Then, nothing happens. Then, unexpectedly, nothing happens. Everything is FRAUGHT with PORTENT.)
Moiraine
Everybody come with me.
Everybody
No. Well, ok.
(They travel a LOT. Something happens that isn't explained. Something happens that doesn't make sense. Something happens.)
Rand al'Thor
Tam is my father.
THE (predictable, cliched, dumb) END
Fans
Yah! Wah hah! This is the greatest book ever! Whoo hoo! This is the greatest series ever! Whoopie! Yee haw!
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Quote:
Book 2
Rand al'Thor
I want to do something. But doing this something is probably what the Aes Sedai want me to do, so I will do something else. But doing that something else may be what they want me to do, because they think I think they want me to do the first thing, so I'll decide to do this other thing instead. So I'll just do the first thing, since I want to do it anyway. Screw them.
(Repeat seven hundred times.)
THE END
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__________________
From the SigmaTo the K!
Polyamorous, Pansexual and Proud of it!
It Gets Better
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09-18-2007, 04:50 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: NYC
Posts: 3,533
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drolefille
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LMAO!
SO. TRUE.
wow
__________________
It may be said with rough accuracy that there are three stages in the life of a strong people. First, it is a small power, and fights small powers. Then it is a great power, and fights great powers. Then it is a great power, and fights small powers, but pretends that they are great powers, in order to rekindle the ashes of its ancient emotion and vanity.-- G.K. Chesterton
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09-18-2007, 05:09 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 13,578
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelyivy84
LMAO!
SO. TRUE.
wow
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I love that site!
__________________
From the SigmaTo the K!
Polyamorous, Pansexual and Proud of it!
It Gets Better
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09-19-2007, 11:01 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 651
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Wow. These books sound incredibly sexist. Maybe hubby and I will have to talk...
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09-19-2007, 12:05 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: NYC
Posts: 3,533
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skylark
Wow. These books sound incredibly sexist. Maybe hubby and I will have to talk...
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I don't know if I would say sexist per se, they are just all the same. Every character acts the same and they are all incredibly arrogant. jordan is bad at show-don't-tell- he will tell us a character is powerful, wse, intelligent, etc. but what we see is her being mean, petty, vindictive and willfully blind.
__________________
It may be said with rough accuracy that there are three stages in the life of a strong people. First, it is a small power, and fights small powers. Then it is a great power, and fights great powers. Then it is a great power, and fights small powers, but pretends that they are great powers, in order to rekindle the ashes of its ancient emotion and vanity.-- G.K. Chesterton
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09-19-2007, 12:57 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 13,578
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skylark
Wow. These books sound incredibly sexist. Maybe hubby and I will have to talk...
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Honestly, I don't know that they're sexist. In fact the women theoretically have all the power in the society, I just don't think it's good writing. I'll post the rest of the "Book a minutes" DO realize they're parody.
__________________
From the SigmaTo the K!
Polyamorous, Pansexual and Proud of it!
It Gets Better
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09-19-2007, 01:02 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 13,578
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Spoiler warnings.
The Dragon Reborn
By Robert Jordan
Quote:
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Rand al'Thor
Being the Dragon Reborn stinks. I'm out of here.
(Moiraine and the gang CHASE him. But even though they are on HORSES, and he is WALKING, they never CATCH UP. This is supposed to be MYSTERIOUS but is really just a plot CONVENIENCE for Robert JORDAN.)
Perrin
I hate wolves.
(Mat and others show up out of NOWHERE. This is supposed to be MYSTERIOUS but is really just a plot CONVENIENCE for Robert JORDAN.)
Rand al'Thor
I am the Dragon Reborn. (kills the EVIL SUPREME BAD GUY)
Robert Jordan
Fooled you! That wasn't really the EVIL SUPREME BAD GUY! Now I can write forty more books!
THE END
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The Shadow Rising
By Robert Jordan
Quote:
(Everybody HATES Rand, so he BEATS them until they OBEY.)
Rand
I have conquered all sorts of stuff, because I rule.
(Gibbers to self. Five hundred pages pass.)
THE END
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__________________
From the SigmaTo the K!
Polyamorous, Pansexual and Proud of it!
It Gets Better
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09-19-2007, 01:09 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 13,578
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The Fires of Heaven
By Robert Jordan
Quote:
Rand
I found an artifact which gives me limitless power. I think I shall brick it up behind a wall.
(A female character SNIFFS and thinks about her NECKLINE.)
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Lord of Chaos
By Robert Jordan
Quote:
Rand
I have a secret plan, but I won't tell you about it.
THE END
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A Crown of Swords
By Robert Jordan
Quote:
Rand
Now my secret plan shall be unleashed! Here it is. Are you ready? Are you sure you're ready? I'm going to make it look like I'm attacking this guy. But THEN I will attack some OTHER guy.
(He DOES, and it ALMOST WORKS.)
THE END
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__________________
From the SigmaTo the K!
Polyamorous, Pansexual and Proud of it!
It Gets Better
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