Image Problems.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

I think you should approach with an all-chapter workshop or series of workshops that discuss self-respect, serving as a PR ambassador for the chapter, nutrition and fitness, and celebrating diversity. After these workshops, adopt these ideas into your chapter bylaws so they can be enforced.

I PM'd you with some ideas.

That's actually a really good idea

[adpiucf]

Thanks, T*P! I really think that you can't impose a specific standard that the entire membership has not been educated about. Otherwise, there is just no way for the members to police their own conduct. But if you've been given fair warning about something specific, you can reasonably expect there will be consequences if you fail to uphold those standards.

I think the problem is that a lot of policies can be very vague. The alcohol policy is clear, but the responsibility to behave in a manner befitting the chapter can be a bit fuzzy... and where do you draw the line?

So for these hypothetical members who are not "representing the sorority's image" well... in what ways have the chapter been educated on what image means? The tricky thing about chapter image is that it is a topic that needs to be addressed with tact and sensitivity. And once a policy has been adopted, members need to be educated about it every year and know it exists.

And I'm not talking about a policy req'ing everyone to wear J. Crew and get haircuts at the Aveda Salon; rather-- a policy that req's making sure that your appearance and conduct are tidy and respectful of yourself and others... and some reasonable specifics like no ripped denim with letter apparel/no tube tops at chapter meeting, etc.

You can't arbitrarily single out a group of members and enforce a standard on them that the entire chapter is not explicitly expected to follow-- you could call honestly call that singling out "hazing" if you wanted to look at the purest definition of the word...

[SigmaTri2008]

Thanks for the responses everyone, I think.

I guess I wasn't that clear in the original post, as I didn't want to get to detailed. Especially now that I found out a fellow chapter member is on this board. (:-P to you!)

I'm not trying to be superficial in the slightest. I'm not the skinniest person in the world nor do I dress in the newest designer labels. These are girls who flat out never care how they present themselves, or at least don't seem to. Neither of them have a weight issue or other physical problem that I know of. Even our leadership consultant pointed out that these are "oops" members and they may affect our chances of strong recruitment. These women now are voting against PNMs that are "too good for us" in their terms, as if they are intimidated by anyone who cares how they look.

I love the ideas that were PM'ed to me, and think that they would absolutly benefit everyone, not just the women in question.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by SigmaTri2008

Even our leadership consultant pointed out that these are "oops" members and they may affect our chances of strong recruitment.

Am I the only one who thinks the leadership consultant is way out of line by saying this? Even if she thinks this is the case, she shouldn't share that belief with the chapter. Eventually, word will get around to these two ladies that their chapter (and even someone who isn't part of the chapter) thinks they were mistakes. And that can't ever be good.

I'm sorry your chapter is having to deal with this ST2008. It's never fun to have to deal with problem members. I guess I'm just stumped because sisters usually don't admit that women were voted on simply because of drama. When problem members become an issue (which happens in most chapters at one time or another, I'd suspect), it is rarely addressed publicly as something the chapter saw as a possibility if said members were extended bids.

Good luck dealing with this. I hope the suggestions you've gotten are helpful.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

Am I the only one who thinks the leadership consultant is way out of line by saying this?

No. I'll go beyond that and say that someone who says something like that has no place being a leadership consultant. I don't know, none of these cute little quotes seem to really go with that... http://www.sigmasigmasigma.org/files/s_Who_at_NHQ.pdf

I just love when people present "hypothetical" situations when they've posted their chapter for all to see. I agree with whoever said that if I heard "well, we only gave 33girl a bid because we knew it would piss AlphaFrog off - we really don't like her" I wouldn't be likely to do anything that anyone suggested in terms of my appearance. Especially since I know they could care less about ME and MY happiness I might gain if I lose weight or whatever - all they care about is their sorority's image.

You're a young chapter. Consider this as a lesson learned when you're pressured in the future to pledge women to get your numbers up (only to have an LC come back 6 months later and say "what were you THINKING??") or when there's someone whose name coming up in membership selection divides the chapter. A chapter that colonized at my school took anyone to get the numbers to get that charter - they lost a lot of the movers and shakers that got the chapter started because of it and never really recovered.

You say that they're voting against women they think are "too good" - I won't ask about your (guess they're not very secret) MS practices, but it's their right to vote however they like. They're TWO people. Did their votes prevent anyone from getting a bid? If your chapter's that small, I think you have worse things than these two girls to worry about....

[skylark]

Originally Posted by SigmaTri2008

Even our leadership consultant pointed out that these are "oops" members and they may affect our chances of strong recruitment.

Sounds like an "oops" leadership consultant to me... Since it is not a physical problem (as the OP has indicated now), I'm guessing we're talking about clothing and grooming? One thing my chapter had to start doing (and never did when or before I was an active) is have wardrobe checks during work week for things the girls wanted to wear during recruitment. I know that sounds kind of ridiculous (at least it did to me, it being a small chapter) but that is certainly something you can do in order to make sure a single member isn't embarrassing the chapter and it doesn't isolate anyone. As far as during the school year, I really like the idea that a poster had about having a chapter workshop, but other than that I think you just have to wait it out, so to speak.

The OP stated that these bad-image members vote against PNMs that look well-groomed. Maybe the best way is to address these comments up front when they happen. Example:

Member 1: "I don't know about Mary, she just seems to be one of those girls who only cares about clothes and has a big ego. I don't think she'd fit well with the chapter"

Member 2: "Why do you assume that about Mary? Did she say something to you that made you think that? If you're assuming that simply because of the way she looks then I think we're running the risk of making predetermined judgments based on looks and I certainly wouldn't want someone to do that to me. Unless you have a reason not to like her, let's give her a chance just like we'd want her to give any of us a chance."