College Freshmen

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by luv n tpa

Our recruitment isn't until the first week of October. It isn't that bad for the PNMs, but for actives, deciding prefs and bids usually runs until 2-3am. I can attest to staying up that late and then going to class in the morning. For lack of a better word, it sucks.

Not to mention all the rumors and "tent talk" and dirty rushing that proliferate before recruitment starts. And...it DOES happen!

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by OSU Maman

"You could wait but, from what I have read on here, if you aren't a freshman your chances of being accepted are not as good. (I don't understand this one so maybe someone could explain?)"

I don't have a good answer for your other question, but for this one:

Imagine this: You have 1000 women come through your house. You have to cut that list down to 600 after one 20 minute meeting. First obvious choice is grades - if someone has a 2.5, and your chapter requires a 3.0, that solves that problem. So maybe that elimiates 200 women, and you now have to find 200 more to cut. Well, you've got 700 freshmen left who will be able to give 4+ years to the sorority, and 100 misc. soph/jr/srs who may only have 2 or 3 years left on campus. Just mathmatically speaking, it's better for your numbers to take the women who will have more years to give to the sorority.
It's completely superficial, and I understand that, but there has to be some way to narrow it down.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by OSU Maman

"I also wondered why some schools go through the recruitment process so early."

"You could wait but, from what I have read on here, if you aren't a freshman your chances of being accepted are not as good. (I don't understand this one so maybe someone could explain?)"

Thanks for the help.

They want to pledge freshmen so they will have a dues paying member for 4 years, rather than 3. Of course, if someone drops out of the sorority before senior year (or earlier) it's kind of a moot point.

Sororities used to have much longer pledge periods (the average now is 6 weeks and for a lot of groups it used to be double that) and often didn't initiate freshman women unless they made whatever the required GPA was. However, they're now under pressure from the schools to cut pledge time, theoretically to prevent hazing. The schools are not looking at the implications of initiating women so early, and the sororities can't get past the concept of freshmen being best. In other words, both sides need to get a clue.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I would tell her NOT to listen to what the girls from the sorority who "loved her" are saying. They shouldn't be talking to girls who are still in the rush process!!

Other than that, we weren't in member selection for those groups, so we really can't tell you why your daughter was cut.

To be perfectly blunt, I've heard more than a few sorority women say that "Ohh we loved you, we wondered why you weren't back to our next party!" line to disappointed PNMs when they felt "put on the spot" or to make the PNM feel better without really thinking about the ramifications of saying that.

Most of the time, it wasn't true. It wasn't that the sorority disliked the PNM, usually, but I've found that they never had any intention of inviting her back for whatever reason and they just didn't know what to say. It was their poor attempt to avoid an awkward situation or to spare her feelings.

The gentle honesty approach (i.e. "I'm sorry you're disappointed, but we really can't talk about what happened. I'm so sorry.") is obviously the better option here, but I'm sure you can imagine how hard it would be for a non-confrontational 19 y.o. to go there. It's not right, but I'm sure that's why it happens.

Mamasue, the best advice I can give you and your daughter is for her to speak with her recruitment counselor, let the disappointment settle, explore her other options (COB, joining a professional/honorary/volunteer GLO, playing sports, joining clubs, whatever), and to NOT listen to what anyone in a sorority says about her being the "best PNM" or that "everyone loved her." I'm sure your daughter's a really lovely girl, but if sorority women are saying that to a PNM during recruitment, it's probably a whole lot of hot air.

[AnchorAlumna]

Mamasue, my daughter was in the same situation, but went to 2 pref parties and was dropped. She heard "this never happens" and "the computer messed up" but there it was - she was crushed, and I was devastated. (She got over it WAY quicker than I did.) She did go ahead and sign up for COB, and about 3 weeks later, she was called by her top choice (NOT a top tier group, but the one she loved) to come to lunch. Soon she was a pledge...especially after 3 or 4 of the 56 they pledged quit.
So...it can happen.
Fast foward 4 years...I am helping out at the house during rush, and she comes upstairs during a break during their membership selection. She is mad...why? Because the sorority can only invite back X number, and they cannot invite back even close to the number of girls that they truly liked. So they were having to cut - blindly, across the board, just to get the number down.
So yes, it is entirely possible that it was not personal.
But believe me, I know exactly how you feel!