Cutting the Umbilical Cord

[dekeguy]

This is actually a trend?????
I am still very close to my parents and siblings, but, rush??? job interviews??? who would hire these people? who would bid anyone who showed up for rush with mummy and daddy???
OK, if you are a legacy and/or your dad is president of the alumni chapter a discrete note or phone call or quiet word dropped in the right ear could be helpful. But to come with you?
Like the kid said to Shoeless Joe Jackson, "say it ain't so Joe!"

[WVU alpha phi]

As a recent grad, I'm going on out-of-state interviews later this week and my parents will be traveling with me. But there's NO WAY I will let them come WITH me to the interview- I told them they can drop me off or I'll drop them off and pick them up (we're only taking one car). They're mostly going to be helping me out on my apartment-search; the job search has been left up to me.

I think I still need my parents input on some things like looking for my first non-college apartment.. they just know a lot more about that stuff than I do. And while they've made it clear that they aren't going to cut me off when I move, I personally want to be as financially independent as possible. None of my other friends who graduated in May with me seem to feel like this.. only one other works full time, the rest are "taking the summer off" aka living off their parents wallets until they feel like job hunting.

[minDyG]

Originally Posted by dekeguy

This is actually a trend?????
I am still very close to my parents and siblings, but, rush??? job interviews??? who would hire these people? who would bid anyone who showed up for rush with mummy and daddy???
OK, if you are a legacy and/or your dad is president of the alumni chapter a discrete note or phone call or quiet word dropped in the right ear could be helpful. But to come with you?
Like the kid said to Shoeless Joe Jackson, "say it ain't so Joe!"

I think the parents being with kids while they were going through recruitment example was more a case of like...moms getting a hotel room in the college town so that they could help their daughters get ready/comfort them when they got through the day, especially if they got cut from a favorite house. I'm not saying I think it's a good idea, but I could see where it would be a temptation for a mom. Well, not for MY mom but for certain moms.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

Anyway, I think the issue really lies in the way the child was raised. It starts at a very young age with the parents making small decisions for the child. "Honey, you need to wear this shirt with those pants because the shirt you have on doesn't match." Who gives a flying flip??! The kid is 4 years old and he needs to start somewhere with decision making.

My 2 2/3 year old decided to leave the house the other day in 95 degree weather in sweatpants and a longsleeve blouse. She was going to the aircondtioned babysitter's house, so I didn't say anything, and sent a onsie along, just in case. No big deal.

I did however, make her change to go to the babysitters one day when she was wearing purple patterned pajama bottoms, a red tank top, and an orange sweater..I draw the line at Baglady Chic. Plus, you can't ALWAYS let them have their way...there's a fine line.

[AlwaysSAI]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

My 2 2/3 year old decided to leave the house the other day in 95 degree weather in sweatpants and a longsleeve blouse. She was going to the aircondtioned babysitter's house, so I didn't say anything, and sent a onsie along, just in case. No big deal.

I <3 that post. Seriously.

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I did however, make her change to go to the babysitters one day when she was wearing purple patterned pajama bottoms, a red tank top, and an orange sweater..I draw the line at Baglady Chic. Plus, you can't ALWAYS let them have their way...there's a fine line.

And, yes, there is a line to be drawn. But, me, I'm sure I looked like the baglady's kid. My sister and I were often allowed to go out of the house in our halloween costumes in the middle of July. I have CP which has caused me some mobility issues and when I was like 2 years old, I am dragging myself along the concrete with my elbows while my sister was walking alongside my mom. Someone asked my mom why she didn't carry me and my mom replies, "When she decides she wants to walk, she will. Until then, this is how she has chosen to get around." (Of course the story was told to me after the fact and no, I never did learn how to crawl. I went from dragging to walking.)

My mom and I were cleaning out my room because I'm moving out and I had the euthenization papers from a guinea pig that was put down when I was like 10. I asked my mom why she let me keep that kind of stuff and she replies "Your stuff was your stuff and I never quesitoned you on it. If you wanted to keep that paper, it was yours to keep."

[Zillini]

Sadly this sort of over-parenting seems to be more common than in times past. Recently I had a mother drive 5+ hours to campus and want to sit in on her daughter's standards meeting. Excuse me? I don't think so.

[couggirl]

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

Those are the same parents that set the girl's class schedule in high school until she graduates, picks her major for her and then plans her class schedule every semester of college until she graduates.

Those children are not raised to make decisions, let alone think independantly! They wouldn't know how to act in an interview and they would only feel safe with mommy by their side.

This is my parents. the only difference is that since i graduated from high school I reaslized what my mom was doing and would not let her behave this way. She still tells me what to do and will get mad at me for not listening to her. This includes anything like her telling me that I am not using the right bank (yeah she yelled at me about that) to more personal things. The sad part is that I have wanted my mom to let me be an adult since high school graduation, but all of my realtives seem to yell at me for being mean to my mom. What? I am being mean because I don't let my mom control my life. WOW. I guess I am just the worlds worst person because I want to be an adult and live my own life. I should really just be ashamed that I am such a mean person that I do not let my mother control my life. well, i guess i am just going to hell for sure now.

[lillady85]

LOVE this thread.
A class I had a year ago had this same discussion and there were tons of kids who admitted to asking their parents with doing their resume, coming to school to see them for small things like having a bad day, going to interviews, etc. Two girls even admitted that their parents edit their papers (and not in a I'll check for typos way). I can't stand this label being put on kids in my generation but it's so true and its disgusting. My parents have always been there to support me and guide me, but not write my resume and cover letter much less go to the interview and expect to be inside! I understand calling your parents everyday if you are a freshman, 3000 miles away and you are homesick for a while. But when you can't even bear to be apart from your parents because something MIGHT go wrong and you don't know how to handle it yourself, it's time to grow up. How will anyone ever learn if they never make the mistake on their own?

[DeltAlum]

When my wife gets here, I'll give you my opinion.

[TrueBlueKappa]

I used to work as the receptionist at the Dean's Office for one of the colleges at my university. I can't tell you the number of times a parent would call and want to speak to a professor (or the Dean!!!) because their kid got a bad grade on a paper or was sick on a test day or -enter random excuse here- and wanted us "fix the situation." Never once can I recall a student acting that way, but I got calls like that from parents a few times a week.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

Those parents are also the ones who insist on having their child repeat kindergarten because (and only because) when the mom was in school she also had a late birthday and didn't get her permit, liscense, first date whatever when all of her friends did.

I agree with this and that it's a pain to get your license last and I would prevent my child from being in that position. However, I would do so by just holding the kid back from going to kindergarten for a year. Can't they do that where you are?

We had to be 5 by September 1 to start kindergarten. If you weren't (ex, if your BD was Sept 3) tough - you did not start. I know some schools still do Feb 1, which I think is way stupid. When was this girl's birthday?

[AlphaFrog]

Mariana's birthday is Oct 11, and the current cutoff is Oct 16th. It will probably change by the time she gets into school, but if it doesn't we're going to have a decision to make, on whether she should start when she's 4 or 5. If she continues advancing cognitively at her current rate, we'll probably go ahead and start her at 4...but like I said, we probably won't even have the choice by then.

[AlwaysSAI]

Originally Posted by 33girl

When was this girl's birthday?

Aug. 17th.

The thing is that the mom faught relentlessly with the principal. There was no reason to hold her back accept for that. When the principal blantantly refused, she moved and changed school districts.

I just wish the girl would grow up. Her parents are going to die eventually and probably before her...what is she going to do then?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

Aug. 17th.

The thing is that the mom faught relentlessly with the principal. There was no reason to hold her back accept for that. When the principal blantantly refused, she moved and changed school districts.

I just wish the girl would grow up. Her parents are going to die eventually and probably before her...what is she going to do then?

oh, well then, that is stupid. I was thinking of one of my sisters whose 21st BD wasn't till Feb of her senior year. then again, not being Pgh native born, it seems like some of the schools around here are much looser w/ early starts & double promotions than the schools where I grew up in hick-land.

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by DeltAlum

When my wife gets here, I'll give you my opinion.

when she gets here, she'll give you your opinion!