dating a frat boy

[honeychile]

"Clingy"? OUCH!!!!

Originally Posted by Kevin

You're in college. Plenty of fish in the sea.

If a guy tells you that you're hurting his grades as a pretext for dumping you, this is a subtle way of him telling you that he's not that into you. If he was really into you, c'mon... grades??? In college, we have a lot of time on our hands. If he wanted to make time for you, he could. He doesn't. Take the hint.

Can't believe I'm actually saying this, but Kevin's right.

Originally Posted by LilBlueEyes

but we never broke up....he just told one of my friends i was clingy...and i was like w/e if he likes me he'll call me and he did

Sweetheart, just because he called you doesn't mean anything.

Do you really want to be with someone who thinks that way of you? I know I don't know you and the full story, but what I'm reading into this is that he's not into this as much as you are.

There's nothing confusing here. Cut bait and move on. You're young and this is so not worth it.

[LilBlueEyes]

no the clingy was before we started seeing each other a lot.....and after that most of the time he was the one who called to hang out....like we had 7 weeks of seeing each other all the time, calling, talking online, etc and then i met his parents when he called me to come over and meet them, at the end of the semester

[PeppyGPhiB]

Even though you're a freshman, there is a difference between hanging out and dating.

I'm going to be blunt. He likes you...but not enough. You'll "do"...for now, until he meets someone else he likes more. For now, he enjoys hanging out with you and maybe gettin' a little, if that's happening (I have no idea, just sayin'). Who knows why he invited you over to meet his parents - that's an example of something confusing that guys sometimes do that make no sense.

Kevin is right. Grades, especially as a freshman, is a lame, fake excuse to break up with someone...although honestly it doesn't seem like you're really "together" and you have to be together before you can break up. Don't overthink this and make excuses for him. You deserve more than a guy that calls you "clingy" at this stage...if he thinks you're clingy now, what would he think later on? Do yourself a favor and forget this guy unless/until he makes a real effort to pursue you.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by vamback

Ok, I am a girl that has done plenty of dating. To be honest, the way I look at relationships is, if a guy breaks up with you once, and even calls back apologizes sometimes, well most of the time, you should not get back with them. It makes them think that they can just do whatever they want and walk all over you. Believe me, no matter who you are, you deserve better then that. Like a guy previously said, college kids have tons of time, he would make time for you if he really wanted to. This is one of those situations you have to take as a learning experience and move on-and don't let guys screw you over like that. If you have standards-you will find the right person for you.

Great advice.

[WVU alpha phi]

Lessons I learned from 4 years of successful (and unsuccessful) dating in college (overwhelmingly fraternity boys):

-Don't believe it when they say they don't have time to hang out with you, unless it's during finals week or something equally important.

-Guys need their guy time, just like you need time with your girl friends. If he's hanging out with his friends, use that time to hang out with yours.
This always avoids the clingy situation.

-On the other hand, if he's spending so much time with his guy friends that you joke with your friends that they're dating, that's probably too much. (I dated a guy who would go to his friend's house after class at 4 and stay there till 2 in the morning. Every day.)

-Guys who LIKE you and want to be with you, not just hook up, DO take you on dates. I know it's easy to make excuses (he doesn't have a car, etc) and while that can factor into the equation, don't make excuses for him. You deserve to be treated well, and hanging out doesn't have to be expensive: meet him for lunch in between class, even going to the library can be more fun with a boyfriend (not very productive though )

-Drunk dials are a tough one. Personally, I go both ways when I'm drunk: I either say things I'm too nervous to say sober, or I come up with off the wall things I've never even thought about sober and have no idea where I come with it. Like you said, you followed the 'actions speak louder than words' philosophy, which I think should be done sometimes. But if this is a recurring thing, he's probably too big of a loser to break things off sober, and when he wants you back, he is able to explain his behavior as drunken stupidity.

Overall, the guy who wants to be with you is going to make the effort and make it known that you're the one he wants. There won't be any "where do I stand/what are we?" confusion. Trust me, you're both very young, and this comes with age, experience, and maturity. In the meantime, I think you should cut this guy off, atleast for summer. Use these couple months to forget about him and hopefully when you return in the fall, he'll be a distant memory.

[REE1993]

[quote=LilBlueEyes;1463628]we were hot and heavy for those few weeks- quote]

Does he play a wind instrument?

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Being a "frat guy" doesn't make a difference. He's just a guy. You're a freshman. This is my opinion from my experience up until this point, but I'd advise freshmen NOT to get in a relationship. College is a good time to have fun and find out who you are. Unless you've found your soulmate or something (and obviously this isn't it), I'd recommend cutting him loose and having some fun.

One other thing that bothered me about dating a fraternity boy freshman year was that I ended up hanging out with only one group of guys. I love them to death, but they aren't my sisters' favorite house, so it means that I'm on my own at a lot of parties. It's a lot harder to go BACK and branch out. Just have fun your first year. You've got four years to find committment if you want it.