Wedding planning

[Educatingblue]

Originally Posted by Jill1228

Congrats hon!

First, relax. Make sure you have the wedding YOU want, not the wedding the parents want.

Unless they say that they are paying for something and SHOW YOU DA MONEY, assume you are paying for it yourself

The wedding is just for one day...it is just the start of things

if something goes wrong, take a deep breath and calm down

Learn to delegate! Do not try to be superwoman and do everything alone.

Great advice! I have been married almost 2 years now and sometimes people think that because they have known you for a lifetime, they need to put their 2cents worth in your wedding. If you have YOUR idea of YOUR fairytale wedding, discuss that with your future husband and see if that is within your budget.

In regards to choosing a date, the best place to start is wherever you are thinking of getting married. Depending on your church/place of worship they may have a 6 month-1 year waiting period for counseling or whatever.

I guess with any source of information be it GC or the knot you have to use your best judgment. I was a knottie and found some good information that I was able to use (such as do it yourself stuff) and a lot of useless information.

[angelic1]

Originally Posted by ZTABullwinkle

I am newly engaged. I have seen the threads on wedding dresses and engagement rings. I am stuck as to where to start with my wedding planning. My thoughts are so scattered and overwhelming that the thought is pretty daunting.

We have yet to set a date, since there seems to be many things to take into account...such as:

• my best friend is my maid of honor, and I am in her wedding on June 28, 2008. So how far apart do you plan your weddings so you don't go nutso with both weddings?
• getting married during September or October here in Virginia Beach means that an univited hurricane may be coming
• getting married in late July or August is going to be HOT!!!

So, any advice would be extremely helpful!! Thanks!

Wow, could our situation being any simular? And I am not some nutso bridezilla I just recently got engaged and one of my best friends is getting married in June (actually June 14). I am going through the same thing of picking a date because I live in Richmond. I don't want to put it to close to her date, but then August can be very hot and humid, but then September - October you have to worry about nasty storm possibilities.

I think we are going to go for a late September - Early October date indoors though. The place has a nice outdoor area though.

As for what to do next, I am in the same boat, but I did good a book to help me plan.

[APhi Sailorgirl]

Ok I am bumping this because I know that GC will hopefully give me some better advice than what I'm finding on theknot.com.

Here's the deal, my fiance and I have picked a location and just did a walkthrough last night. We love the place. It works well for all of our guests and it's a great price. Oh and they had two dates for the month we want. Plus we get the whole lower level of the place for the whole day. The hospitality/wedding coordinator lady has been great to work with so far. She answered all of our questions and concerns last night and was very upfront with details and how the events will go plus her involvement.

The only nagging thing in the back of my mind is that these other brides on theknot are totally bashing this lady and the hotels she coordinates for (it's a group of 3). They say she is hard to reach, sent contracts late and had moved weddings to different rooms to accomodate other events.

I don't know if I'm just lucky so far, if they were just bridezillas, or what. Or am I just crazy and should just worry about my situation only?

[AlphaFrog]

I wouldn't put much stock in theknot, or any other place on the internet. Heck, it might be a good idea to print some of those comments out and address them with her. There are always two sides to every story, and the truth usually lies somewhere in the middle. Ask her directly what her policies are on moving weddings/events, sending contracts, and etc. If you haven't signed a contract, maybe even put a clause in about how soon phone calls, etc need to be returned.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by APhi Sailorgirl

The only nagging thing in the back of my mind is that these other brides on theknot are totally bashing this lady and the hotels she coordinates for (it's a group of 3). They say she is hard to reach, sent contracts late and had moved weddings to different rooms to accomodate other events.

I don't know if I'm just lucky so far, if they were just bridezillas, or what. Or am I just crazy and should just worry about my situation only?

As with most things on internet message boards, you have to take those things with a grain of salt.

I'd say just worry about yourself and your wedding and don't be too concerned with what these people say. For all you know, they could have been total bitches who gave this woman a really hard time.

I would also suggest getting all of this woman's policies and every contract or thing you sign in writing (it's standard to do so anyway).

[Cardinal026]

I think as long as you do have a contract and keep everything in writing, and also save all e-mails, make notes after phone conversations, etc, you should be fine.

Plus, I find a majority of the women on theknot to be unnecessarily nasty. You'd think they'd be the happiest forum on the internet, basking in wedding bliss - doesn't appear to be that way in most of their threads.

I think a big part of some knotties and vendors is their attitude - if you go in with one, you'll get one right back. Be your charming self to this woman, and you'll get a lot more in return.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Cardinal026

Plus, I find a majority of the women on theknot to be unnecessarily nasty. You'd think they'd be the happiest forum on the internet, basking in wedding bliss - doesn't appear to be that way in most of their threads.

I lurked on TheKnot message boards a few times, but didn't post (I'm not getting married, just a Maid of Honor looking for bridesmaid dress ideas) and some of those women are nuts. No offense to the GC brides-to-be who post there who I'm sure are completely normal.

I distinctly remember reading a post there telling a bride to be careful what she posted on her wedding website because there have been issues with some The Knot brides screwing with other bride's plans!

She went on to say that there was once a bride on the sitewho was jealous of another bride for booking the cake baker she wanted for her own cake (who was apparently booked solid). So the psycho bride went to the other bride's website, found the bakers store address, Googled the phone #, [B]called the bakery pretending to be this other womanand CANCELLED her cake order so she could book hers!

That is totally insane.

Not to mention the other crazies who post things like:

"OMG I'm sooo mad at my Maid of Honor for not being able to come to my bridal shower!! I mean, like, who cares if her grandmother broke a hip and is having surgery this weekend! This is my big day and it is sooo much more important than her little family drama!!"

[Lady Pi Phi]

The people on The Knot are insane!!

I too am the MOH for my friend who is getting married next year, and I peruse the wedding message boards, looking at dresses and ideas and to generally help her out. Most of the time is surf weddingbells.ca and canadianbride.com. The ladies on thse message boards are warm and friendly. The "ladies" on The Knot are seriously derranged and I can't believe anyone is marrying them. Plus I hate the way their message board is laid out. I find it really hard to read.

[nikki1920]

GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING.

Worry about your situation and dont let them get to you.

but get everything in writing...

[APhi Sailorgirl]

Thank you for calming my nerves. We did address some of the issues presented when we went last night, just through questions we asked, etc. Plus they are not complaining about the site we've booked.

Mainly the only reason I've been on the boards is we are getting married near where we live now. Before us moving in together I was at home in a different state. So I was clueless on some of local venues when we started planning.