Need Advice on Another CRAZY

[SigmaChiGuy]

Simple. Freeze your pee in a baking pan, slide it under her door for melting. Eventually she'll figure it out.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Introduce her to other people in the dorm or on your campus. I don't think that she is as much a stalker as she is lonely. You might be the only person she knows or feels comfortable around. If she knows a group of people, she will have less free time to annoy you.

[Rio_Kohitsuji]

Originally posted by preciousjeni
...... - and she IS my sister in Christ). You know what I'm saying?........

Tell her she's really adopted. Or, she was really an accident.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by Rio_Kohitsuji
When she's at your door, open it and then Mace her. *nods*

you're horrible.

[CarolinaCutie]

Suddenly develop a huge daytime sleeping habit. You might have to leave the lights off in your room, but no one, even an annoying someone, wants to disturb someone while they are napping.

[AchtungBaby80]

Originally posted by Peaches-n-Cream
Introduce her to other people in the dorm or on your campus. I don't think that she is as much a stalker as she is lonely.

That's a good idea, but I'm not sure if it would help in this case. I mean, standing outside someone's window and then calling to see if she can hear a cell phone ringing inside? That's weird. No, that's downright creepy. I would say try getting her some new friends, but if that doesn't work, go to the RA/dorm director. This is ridiculous.

[preciousjeni]

Originally posted by CarolinaCutie
Suddenly develop a huge daytime sleeping habit. You might have to leave the lights off in your room, but no one, even an annoying someone, wants to disturb someone while they are napping.

It's funny you should mention that. A while back, when I used to leave the front door unlocked, I was in my room - with the door closed - taking a nap. Apparently, she came and knocked on the door and I didn't answer. So, she took it upon herself to walk into my apartment, open my room door and wake me up.

@Rudey - You ARE the wind beneath my wings!! I'm so glad to finally be able to tell you!

[damasa]

Man this sounds like a situation in need of Mike Jones!


Who?

Mike Jones!

[sugar and spice]

Get out of your apartment. Instead of going straight home after class, go to the library and study. Go to a coffee shop. Get some dinner or go to a game with friends. Work out. If you have a regular schedule, it makes it that much easier for her to stalk you because she always knows when you're going to be there. Varying it up a little bit will be good for both of you -- you get some peace from her, she will probably get bored of stalking if you make it a little bit harder.


Also, tell her that this is bothering you. If she still doesn't listen, THEN talk to your residential directors or whatnot if you can. I understand that you anticipate she may not listen if you talk to her, but honestly, I think it's really stupid to complain to an authority figure to take care of a problem for you when you haven't even addressed it with that person yourself.

I know you say you don't have it in you to "hurt her," but then honestly what are you doing posting this thread? The only way that her behavior even has a chance of stopping is if she knows it bothers you, and the only way that is going to happen is if you tell her it bothers you. It's pretty simple . . . Not to mention that if you do it when your temper is cool, you can say it in a way that is less hurtful than how it will come out when you inevitably explode later if you don't say anything.

[emleepc]

Originally posted by sugar and spice
Get out of your apartment. Instead of going straight home after class, go to the library and study. Go to a coffee shop. Get some dinner or go to a game with friends. Work out. If you have a regular schedule, it makes it that much easier for her to stalk you because she always knows when you're going to be there. Varying it up a little bit will be good for both of you -- you get some peace from her, she will probably get bored of stalking if you make it a little bit harder.


Also, tell her that this is bothering you. If she still doesn't listen, THEN talk to your residential directors or whatnot if you can. I understand that you anticipate she may not listen if you talk to her, but honestly, I think it's really stupid to complain to an authority figure to take care of a problem for you when you haven't even addressed it with that person yourself.

I know you say you don't have it in you to "hurt her," but then honestly what are you doing posting this thread? The only way that her behavior even has a chance of stopping is if she knows it bothers you, and the only way that is going to happen is if you tell her it bothers you. It's pretty simple . . . Not to mention that if you do it when your temper is cool, you can say it in a way that is less hurtful than how it will come out when you inevitably explode later if you don't say anything.

This is exactly what I would say and do if it were me. Tough love, ya know? If she can't get the hint from you saying in a nice way, that you need your space, then you might have to get a bit more assertive, rude even, if that's what it takes.

But by varying your routine, she'll be forced to vary hers.....that could work.

[preciousjeni]

Dang y'all! Ugh! Ok - I've talked to her on the level of "I'm not as social as you are and I really don't have time to do anything right now." So, I'm going to have to get to the level of "You're coming by too much and I really prefer to be alone." Then, see where to go from there...

It's so much easier to do things gently when more people are around who know the situation. I feel like most of the time it's easier to hear news you don't want to hear from friends than from the person who's in the situation with you.

You have confirmed what I already knew!! I really was hoping that there'd be an easier way.

[christiangirl]

Well, as someone who once had a stalker of her own, let me give you my schpiel. My senior year of high school, there was this freshman girl who adopted me as her target. She pestered me constantly, then revealed she had a crush on me. Girly followed me to my locker, popped up in between classes and hunted me down in the library/cafeteria/wherever-the-hell I went. So this is what I'd recommend for the coward's way out:

1. Stop being so predictable. Don't become an outcast to your own home, but go lots of different places and never stick to one place as your haven. Take the advice of the people here, go out to dinner, go to the library (not all the time), go dancing, boost your social life. It may hurt your stalker's feelings that you didn't invite her along, but she'll see you have better things to do than sit around with her.

2. Don't stop for conversations. If you see her outside your building, just say hi and keep going. It's best not to linger so she can't ask you about your plans for later.

3. If you are in your room, try to invite other people there. That way, you can do the "I have company, can we hang out later?" thing.

I'd definitely say this girl is just lonely, but she needs to learn to branch outside of her comfort zone and make some new friends. She probably doesn't have very high self-esteem if she believes you're the only person who'd be willing to hang out with her. Seeing you have more of a social life, she's probably really attracted to that and wishes she had that kind of confidence. Now, if you want to do the compassionate thing, you can talk to her when she calls (but politely cut it short if you really have to go), take her out with you when you go places, introduce her to people. You could gently take her aside and tell her she's bothering you, but that won't cure her loneliness. It'll solve your problem, but not hers. It just depends if you want to take time out of your life to help little ms. lonely, or if you just want her away from you. That'll show which route you need to go.

[preciousjeni]

Originally posted by christiangirl
You could gently take her aside and tell her she's bothering you, but that won't cure her loneliness. It'll solve your problem, but not hers. It just depends if you want to take time out of your life to help little ms. lonely, or if you just want her away from you. That'll show which route you need to go.

That's solid right there. Thanks!

[christiangirl]

You're welcome. Sooo.....*turns into Grandmother Willow* "Which path are you going to take, Pocahontas??

[preciousjeni]

I'm going to bear with her and start suggesting *other* people to hang out with and things to do (as so many of you have indicated to me!)

christiangirl - don't think I didn't see you call me a coward!!