Need Advice on Another CRAZY
 

Don't get smart with me here -- I seriously need some ideas.

There's an unfortunate soul living in my dorm. She didn't go home for the summer because she works full-time around here. So, this child has attached herself to me somewhat. She's about 22 and graduated from a Bible college. She plays like she has great self-esteem, but she really doesn't. That's a drain on me.

Here's the real problem. The girl STALKS me. I'm in class just about all day Monday through Thursday. She works until 5 PM and it takes her 10 minutes or so to get home. As soon as she gets home and gets settled, she comes downstairs and the madness ensues.

EVERY SINGLE DAY this summer (including weekends), she has come and knocked on my door or called me. I'm not into that. LEAVE ME ALONE!

Yesterday, between 6 and 9, she knocked on my door four different times. I never answered but I was here. I knew it was her because of the way she knocks and also, she calls out to get my attention. She also called twice because she couldn't find me.

On most days, she'll go outside my window and either try to peek in or scratch at the window to get my attention.

I didn't used to have to lock my door because my dorm is secure, but now I do because if I leave it unlocked SHE WALKS RIGHT IN! I also have taken to hiding out in my room. OHHH - here's the best - I keep my phone on vibrate so she can't hear it ringing since she'll go outside the window and call to see if I'm here and hiding.

Every time she comes by, she wants something from me - let's go to the store; can I borrow some money?; can I use your internet?; can I use your printer? (which, by the way, she never chips in money)...

So, I have to figure out how to deal with her. Right now, I just hide out. The biggest problem is that, whatever I do, I have to live with this girl in my dorm for the next two years.

If I confront her, she'll get defensive and pissed off and won't do anything to change her ways. I already tried to confront her on the printer issue and it was a disaster.

Advice??????

Just say, "Hey stalker, knock this crazy sh*t off!"...well, maybe be a little nicer about it. I'd say hey, I understand you think I'm great, but I need some time to myself. IF she doesn't get it then, tell her to piss off. It sounds like she needs some more friends.

How cool are you? You have a stalker.

Seriously, tell her youre not that much of a people person and you need your space.

Or, plot with her to do something against the law, get her on tape and then turn it over to the feds. Send her ass to gitmo. It will teach her to mess with you.

LOL! I'm not so much "cool" as I am "not a stick in the mud." I've told her that I'm not really a people person -- she doesn't seem to get it. That's why I've resorted to hiding.

But, I like your second idea!!

ETA: The longer I'm here, the more I see that these folks are seriously repressed and in need of counseling. It scares me to think that these are future pastors and missionaries.

So, I'm not at all surprised at the turn-over rate of both of these occupations. People jump in with a fervor for God and aren't in touch with themselves.

Sorry to hear about your stalking problem-just remember that it is her with the problem not you. Document all unwanted and excessive contact for a few days. Then.....................................

talk to your RA or House Director about the situation. They will most likely intervene in the situation. It is part of their job to counsel students with problems on their floor or dorm or refer them for further treatment if needed with the counseling center at your school.

Ive had two different people tell me that the way to get rid of Jehovas witnesses knocking on your door 24 7 is to show up at the door naked. While extreme, maybe you could get some ideas like that...you know, just scare her ass off! That way u can avoid confrontation AND get the job done...

Oh god, she would totally irk the crap outta me, especially cuz I am one of those people that enjoys her time alone and hates when people drop by unannounced. I would attempt to have another sit down with her and tell her that she really cannot come by unannounced anymore. She sounds like someone you are going to need an initial compromise with. Ask her to call before coming over to see if you are free. If neither of these work, I think you are going to unfortunately have to be mean to her. I agree though that involving the RA's may be a good intervention with her. Maybe pointing her out to some clubs/activities too.

After giving it some thought rereading the posts, why not just tell her to leave you alone? Guys say an awful lot that the problem with women is that we never say things in a direct manner, so be direct...and if you're a little bitchy in the process, oh well. Life's too short to be hiding in your room from some crazy.

And document everything. Psychos....the nerve.;)

When she's at your door, open it and then Mace her. *nods*

LOL that reminds me of some of our visits with Jeovas Witnesses-my husband would always invite them back because he enjoyed a good debate of scripture. He saw it as fun entertainment. However, they stopped coming around after the birth of my 4th child. I answered the door with baby in hand, wearing P.J.s and commenting on sore a certain body part was from trying to breastfeed. I was so dead tried with being up at all hours of the night, feeding the greedy bugger every 1 1/2 hours when he had a sucking problem from being premature and recovering from my C-section-I didn't edit what I was saying and babbling a mile a minute. They never returned and hubby had to find a new source of entertainment.

Take a poo in her bed. That will freak her out.

-Rudey
--I don't do anything in moderation I suppose

My dad does the same thing with J.W.s. :) Ok - unfortunately, we don't have RAs in that sense. We have an ARD (assistant residential director) married couple. They don't handle things like this because it's a graduate dorm.

I just don't have it in me to hurt someone when she's down. However, at some point, she'll knock on my door one too many times and I'll open it and say, "You're driving me crazy. I DON'T want to go out. I DON'T want to give you money. I DON'T want to sit here and talk you again about sex and explain what FGM is and why it's horrible. I DON'T want to listen to you whine about how little money you have when you spend your money on frivilous things. And, I DON'T think you are as confident as you claim to be."

It's now turning into a game. The more she calls and knocks, the less I want to see her. And, she's getting more insistent with it. For now, I'm going to have to leave her alone and see if she stops.

Seriously, if she stops the stalking, I might be inclined to hang out with her (because she needs a normal person to talk with - and she IS my sister in Christ). You know what I'm saying? It's not that I hate her by any means but she just so NEEDY!

I feel like her boyfriend or something. Now I know how guys feel when we smother them.

Rudey -- you would be the answer. I could fly you in here to have a "talk" with her. Perhaps then she'd understand.

You know people that just don't take a hint and don't seem to read body language at all? That's this girl but she's worse, since I've actually SAID I'm not as social as she is.

Rudey, did you ever know that you're my hero?

Am I the wind beneath your wings?

-Rudey

BWA HAHAHA! Dang, Rudey, you made me spill my coffee all over myself. Too funny!