Engaged sorority sister acting as though she is single at the bar

[sororitygirl2]

How do you "act like your engaged" - do you have to act like a wallflower who is totally boring and never have a fun time again?

I don't know the girl... maybe she is out of line. But honestly, I'm not going to judge the girl based off just your opinion and it's not really your place to either. Some girls are friendly and flirty, no big deal. As long as she and her fiancee don't have a problem with it - leave it alone. Hell, even if they do, it's their problem to deal with.

I am a friendly girl and may sometimes appear to be flirty, but that doesn't mean I am a cheater. Did you ever think of the fact that maybe she is considering the reality that she is going to be married soon and have to "act like she is married" and maybe she is just using this as a coping mechanism?

I'm sorry - I just hate when everyone thinks it's their right to judge people who act differently than they would, or think they should.

[starang21]

Originally posted by sororitygirl2
How do you "act like your engaged" - do you have to act like a wallflower who is totally boring and never have a fun time again?

I don't know the girl... maybe she is out of line. But honestly, I'm not going to judge the girl based off just your opinion and it's not really your place to either. Some girls are friendly and flirty, no big deal. As long as she and her fiancee don't have a problem with it - leave it alone. Hell, even if they do, it's their problem to deal with.

I am a friendly girl and may sometimes appear to be flirty, but that doesn't mean I am a cheater. Did you ever think of the fact that maybe she is considering the reality that she is going to be married soon and have to "act like she is married" and maybe she is just using this as a coping mechanism?

I'm sorry - I just hate when everyone thinks it's their right to judge people who act differently than they would, or think they should.

so would you be ok with your fiancee being all hugged up and holding hands with some other woman?

While it would be ideal to out this girl to her guy, I think it'd be extremely cruel to do so (in the ways our lovely GC males are suggesting) considering SHE'S HER FREAKING SORORITY SISTER!

Would you treat your own brother that way? I don't know, I just think that if I was the hookerish engaged girl in question I'd want it so that the situation was handled in a more discreet and less tacky way.

But that's just me.

[starang21]

Originally posted by OohTeenyWahine
While it would be ideal to out this girl to her guy, I think it'd be extremely cruel to do so (in the ways our lovely GC males are suggesting) considering SHE'S HER FREAKING SORORITY SISTER!

Would you treat your own brother that way? I don't know, I just think that if I was the hookerish engaged girl in question I'd want it so that the situation was handled in a more discreet and less tacky way.

But that's just me.

and isn't that one of her roommates and friends? i'd want my friends to let me know if the chick i supposedly love is in actuality a skeezer.

Originally posted by starang21
and isn't that one of her roommates and friends? i'd want my friends to let me know if the chick i supposedly love is in actuality a skeezer.

When I found myself in a similar situation, I never questioned my LOYALTY to my sister.

Simply put, it's not her place to tell him. She first has to tell her so that at least she's mindful of what the eff is going on.

When I think of the words "skeezer" and "tramp", I think of a girl who probably lists "whoring around" as her hobby. I don't know, I re-read the original post and she didn't mention that. annice wasn't even sure if she kissed anyone.

I mean isht, I flirt with guys at the bar, and I'll bet $$$ that the boy flirts with girls at the club. Anything beyond that is wrong, and annice's friend is probably too drunk off her ass to know the difference.

If she pulled a Shaggy-"It Wasn't Me", then I say you guys would have grounds to say that she should do what you suggested. But for now, I think some of you guys are just being a wee bit judgmental considering you don't even know everything that's going on.

[swissmiss04]

Is this a consistent pattern? If it is, maybe she is a bit skanky. If it was an isolated incident, let it go at that. Her fiance will definitely find out, one way or another.

[sororitygirl2]

Originally posted by starang21
so would you be ok with your fiancee being all hugged up and holding hands with some other woman?

I would assume that if we are engaged, I would know what his personality is like - and I wouldn't agree to be engaged unless I knew and loved his personality. So, if his personality entailed his being VERY friendly to other women, I would either be okay with it or would never have said "yes" in the first place. Really, it's all about trust to me - I would not be engaged to someone I can't trust. I don't think that someone being flirty and outgoing means they are not trustworthy and I wouldn't rule them out for just that.

If he all of a sudden started acting like that out of nowhere and it was out of character, I would not be okay with it though because I would see it as a sign of a problem.

Does this make any sense? It's kind of a convoluted post...

[annice22]

Apparently my sorority sister has not learned anything, she is still going around hanging all over guys while she's out. Now a lot of sister do not want to go out with her anymore myself included. I really want to tell her about her behavior, but I know that it will not make much different except for her getting made at me. One sister already talked to her about it and still no result because she was hanging all over some of the guys from my school's hockey team. I thought that maybe she had learned her lesson and felt bad about her actions, because during homecoming she was hanging on the president of a fraternity and flirting with him like crazy. So he kissed her and she felt all bad the next day. Another sister (her lil') told her that she should tell her fiance but she did not. All she kept saying was that her lil is too judgemental and she not judge her.

Last night we went to the bar and she was all over this guy (who use to date another sister and in a fraternity) instead of getting a ride with us she decided that she was going to go over to the guy's house. I'm not sure what time she actually got home. Now I cannot even really look at her because she really disgust me. I know that you're not suppose to judge anyone but she really needs to grow up and either tell her fiance she does not want to get married or stop acting the way she does at bars and parties.

Two weeks ago last Saturday a few sisters went to the bar and I had to leave early probably around 1:30a.m. to get ready for bed because I had work. So my newly initiated lil decided to stay at the bar and the sister in question was going to take care of her and make sure she got home. Yeah, right she did not want to leave the bar before our DD stoped running to get herself and two newly active sisters home. She left one newly active sister at the bar and walked my lil to a fraternity house trying to find a ride home, then proceed to walk her to another fraternity house to find a ride but decided to stay there instead. She did not even care about the fact that my lil wanted to go home.

My lil finally found a ride home from the fraternity's DD but the sister wanted to stay because she wanted to get flirty with one of the brothers. The only reason she got home was from another sister who was sober stopped by the fraternity's house to make sure two of our other sister's made sure they got home safely. The sober sister pretty much had to drag her out of the house because she was getting a neck massage from one of the brother's. I was mad because this is my lil who is newly active and you said that you would take care of her and make sure you made it home safely. Now my lil does not want to go out with her either. See I made the mistake of not talking to her about it the next day. Because I let if fester and now I am really mad at her.

Don't get me wrong I am not jealous nor are any of the sisters of her we're just disappointed and mad with her. We just feel bad for her fiance, because he is a really nice guy. She doesn't even tell any of these guys that she is engaged. Well I guess the old saying is correct nice guys finish last, especially in this case. Also, I am truly sick of worry about her and after last night I will not.

Sorry I know that this pretty long, thanks for letting me vent.

Edited because I forgot to add some additional information.

[kddani]

while I understand your frustration, your eally shouldn't be publicizing your chapter members drinking underage in a bar, etc.

[annice22]

Yeah I know I edited that out. Sorry

[James]

"You can give a slut a ring, but you can't stop her being a slut."

If it really bothers you and you don't want to tell the fiancee . . just cock block her.

You and the sisters that care just everyone when you are out that tshe is engaged. Gossip about it during the day to random Greeks.

It will get around fast and make it harder for her to get an audience to act the way she does.

[starang21]

Originally posted by James
"You can give a slut a ring, but you can't stop her being a slut."

If it really bothers you and you don't want to tell the fiancee . . just cock block her.

You and the sisters that care just everyone when you are out that tshe is engaged. Gossip about it during the day to random Greeks.

It will get around fast and make it harder for her to get an audience to act the way she does.

i thought it you can't turn a hoe into a housewife.

i don't get it....if it's one of my friends....i'd snitch. warn her that you'll snitch unless she stops.

[AlphaGamDiva]

Originally posted by starang21
i thought it you can't turn a hoe into a housewife.

i don't get it....if it's one of my friends....i'd snitch. warn her that you'll snitch unless she stops.

i agree....talk to her first, but with an ultimatum. sister, friend, whatever.....if my blood sister was doing this isht, i'd tell her fiance in a heart beat. wrong is wrong, no matter who it is.

[valkyrie]

I think you have two choices here:

1) accept her behavior and continue being her friend, or

2) stop being her friend if her behavior bothers you that much.

The thing is, although it's frustrating, it's really not your place to police her behavior or to report it to anyone. If it bothers you, don't hang around with her and tell her exactly why you're not hanging around with her any more if she asks.

[James]

For what its worth. If the genders were reversed, I would never break the Guy Code and tell a girl her Fiancee was being the little social butterfly.

Even if that girl was a friend. You just don't break the Guy-Code. ITs wrong.

Besides I would think the girl was a little slow-mentally if she was that out of step with the person she thought she was going to marry.