Engaged sorority sister acting as though she is single at the bar
 

I not sure where this thread would go but here is my deal

my roommate and sorority sister is engaged but yet she was out tonight with our male neighbor (who drove us to the bar tonight). She was holding hands, hugging, dancing, etc with this guy all night. I do not know if she kissed him, I was not around her all night but I feel as though she not be hanging out with this guy and she should tell him or let him know that she is engaged.

He fiance is the sweetest guy in the world and I really do not think he even knows that she goes out and flirts with different guys such as the hockey team every time she is at the bar.

I think she should act like she is engaged. I have no problem with someone who is engaged going out and dancing all night but when you are acting as though you are single and hanging on different guys then you should just make a decision if you want to stay engaged.

I just feel dissappointed that she is not being true to her fiance but it is her life.

Thanks for letting me vent.

I've seen many an engaged sister do what you've described.

Still, I feel that you should tell your sister your concerns, especially if she was drunk (or something like it) when she's flirting with these guys.

Hanging on to, kissing, holding hands or what not...is nothing to sleeping with someone, but that's just my opinion.

It could be because she knows she'll be married soon and she's testing the waters or whatever reason. I don't agree with it, but at least let her know that you don't think what she's doing is right...and let her go from there. Try not to sound judgemental or mean about it, just let her know how you feel and assure her that you'll be there for her if she ever needs someone to talk to just in case she needs to let it all out.

After all, you are her roommate and sister. :)

Still, whatever you do, it's not your place to tell her fiance, no matter the outcome...no matter how close you are to him.

Good luck!

I definately was not going to tell him. I'm not sure If I should talk to her because she is an adult and should decide for herself what's right and what's wrong.

Thanks for the advice. Right now I just don't want to get in the middle of it. Her fiance is also one of our roomates. So you see what could happen if he just decides to show up at the bar and surprise her.

I'll let you know if she decides to come to her senses.

Edited because I was thinking faster than I was typing

It's sweet that you're concerned, annice. But yes, she is a big girl. And no, you should not tell her man. Many people (guys and girls) who are about to get married get sort of cold feet and just want a reminder that they are attractive (to their mate as well as others). Since there wasn't kissing or "inappropriate touching" going on, I'd say it's fairly harmless. Some people are inherently a little more touchy feely than others. Plus, it was in a bar. As long as she is not getting seriously involved w/ another man in a physical or emotional way, I'd say it was just harmless.

I understand and appreciate your concern for your friend.

However, I think all you can do is let her no her bahvaiour is inappropriate. If you've done this, that's all you can do.
She's a big girl and you have to let her make her own decisions, even if they are the wrong ones.

It's definitly not your place to tell the fiance.

Basically I co-sign with what everyone else is saying.

Me, too. Just tell her that she might want to watch, just to make sure her fiance doesn't get the wrong idea.

Well I will chime in a say she's a silly little whore and he should know this before he gets married and divorced after she bangs the postman.

-Rudey

If he's one of your roomies why isn't he at the bar???

She's playing with fire if he could show up at any moment...whateva.

He does not go out that much he's kind of like to hang out at home or with his friends at our house. They seem like the perfect couple until she goes out and get flity. I just don't want to see her hurt.

I want to say something to her because everytime I come back from the bar I just feel a little dissappointed in her and lose a little respect for her. Other sisters will make comments like "Isn't she engaged?" "Who is that guy?" etc. She is one of my favorite sisters and mean the world to me. But I know I have to let her deal with this.

Easist thing to do to make her quit it for a little while: Next time she's all up on some guy go over and ask her how her fiancee is or have her show you her ring :p

I agree with Rudey. He needs to be told so he can kick that rubbish to the curve.

She would probably be all pissed off if he did that to her.

What a flake.

tell the boyfriend...who wants to be the guy who wifed the village bicycle?

not me.

Seriously, girls that act like that are two bit tramps, I like them and all . . but two bit tramps nonetheless.

Check it out, you don't have to "tell" him if you really think about it. Set her ass up. Go out to the bar one night and tell the dude that you'll call him later because you want him to come out (or some other bs like that). When she starts getting her whore on, call him up and be like come over and meet us or say something like "you have to come see this."

He comes, he sees, she is busted.

Hookeroni, what, what?

I am definitely going to say this within a week's time. It's too funny to pass up.