PreMarital Counseling

[Honeykiss1974]

Originally posted by SummerChild

I'm sure that I'll get flamed by the bible quoters but oh well.

SC

Naa, we won't flame you . But I will say that the whole "submission thing" goes much deeper than a simple " men should rule over women" type of mentality. *lol* Way more.

Eclipse did have a good point though. A good counselor would be important as well.

[Eclipse]

Originally posted by SummerChild
I definitely think that pre-marital counseling is a good idea (although I'm not married and have never experienced it). I have to admit that I'd be burned up if a counselor tried to tell me to submit to my future husband. I just don't believe that just b/c I was born with female genitalia instead of male genitalia that he should have the say. What is the logic in that?

If anything, I think that whoever is more well-versed on whatever the subject matter of the particular decision, should have the final say - and the other should submit to that person.

I'm sure that I'll get flamed by the bible quoters but oh well.

SC

No flame (and I won't even quote one scripture! ), but let me just say that I believe in the concept of biblical submission by the woman and the headship of the man (even though I don't do it all of the time! God is still working on me!). My problem with the advice my friend got was the notion that ALL problems come from lack of submission from the wife. Totally obsolves the husband of all responsibility. HELLO--he is supposed to DIE for her. He is supposed to love her like Christ loves the Church. Ephesians 5 also talks about the mutual submission to Christ. ( oops...I said I wouldn't quote scripture! ) What about THAT?

Contrary to what some (like the counselor I mentioned evidently) believe, I don't think biblical submission means that the man makes all the decisions and the woman parks her brain at the alter after she says 'I do'.

Another good reason for premarital counseling! Make sure you are on the same page about the submission thing if you are a Christian!

Sorry for the hijack. My thoughts on submission are well documented on GC. I even have to pull up myu old posts from time to time to 'remind' myself of God's plans. It's amazing how He used your own words to conk you over the head!

[SummerChild]

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
Naa, we won't flame you . But I will say that the whole "submission thing" goes much deeper than a simple " men should rule over women" type of mentality. *lol* Way more.

Well then HK, if it's not about having to designate someone who should be the boss since both can't make decisions on every single thing and the man should randomly be made chief decision maker b/c he was born with male genitalia which makes him the de facto leader b/c having a penis obviously makes him dominant, then what is it about? Ok, I'm exaggerating a little but isn't this the essence of the biblical argument?

Feel free to direct me to the thread if you happen to remember the name of it. I can't find it.

Just found it - I'll post over there.

SC

[CrimsonTide4]

http://www.greeksource.com/gcforums/...591#post625591

I think this is another helpful thread for you Summer Child. I pulled it to the top already as well.

[SummerChild]

Thanks again CT4!!
SC

[CrimsonTide4]

If it were OPTIONAL, would you choose to do it?
Yes I definitely would seek premarital counseling. I know a lot of churches require it, but I want it just because anything that can help my marriage is a benefit. I plan to marry ONCE and it be til death do us part. I want a counselor to teach me how to better love the man that God has ordained to be my lifemate.


What are the PROS? Cons, if any?
The pros are knowing your mate better as well as yourself. I know myself but there might be areas that I do not totally know. I want to be able to talk to my mate and for him to talk to me. I think that counseling strengthens communication.


If you wanted it, but your mate didn't, then what? or vice verse, mate wants and you don't?
It is definitely a red flag and I would have to be prayerful about our relationship.


Spiritual or non spiritual form of counseling?
Definitely spiritual counseling. I want us to be equally yoked and have the tools to seek God as the Ultimate Counselor in our marriage.

[Conskeeted7]

We had pre-marital couseling. It was not required and was headed by the minister who married us. It was helpful. We discussed practical issues from a spiritual standpoint.

Pros...talking about something other than the wedding. Wedding planning can get overwhelmind and sometimes it can be a relief to talk about another segment of the picture.

Cons...Each relationship is different and their is no magic formula. So, some things our minister said were completely ignored by us because it didn't fit the way we didn things in our lives. However, if we had been more impressionable, we might have tried to do things the way he was saying instead of what we already were doing that worked.