Promise Rings - Page 2

ladyj39 · #16 10-04-2003, 05:11 PM

My boyfriend of three and a half years is Irish/Italian and he bought me a beautiful gold claddaugh ring for Christmas of last year. I wear it on my right hand, heart in. I was at a bar once and a guy asked my friend if I was married. He was Irish from Ireland and when I showed him my claddaugh ring, he backed off.

My BF's parents use them as wedding bands, and they love that he gave one to me. They keep asking him when the other ring is coming!

I love it!

AOII_LB93 · #17 10-04-2003, 07:49 PM

One of my married coworkers said it best when he said, "Friends don't let friends get promise rings. Get engaged or don't do it at all. Promise rings are ridiculous." (His words, but I agree.)

I have to agree with what everyone else said. I was semi-promised when I was 19, and I'm with a different guy now. I'm 27....a lot has changed in 8 years. I'm glad that I am not married or engaged. I'm still growing into my own and figuring out what it is that I want from myself and my life. I am in a committed relationship, and we have discussed engagement, but when we are both ready...and that is not right now. I think before I am 30, but realistically why push it? This is going to sound very jaded but oh well: A ring doesn't stop anyone from doing things anyhow. A promise ring would be just another piece of jewelry to wear, unless you are truly committed to someone (and in my opinion that is a bad idea for anyone under the age of 25) what is the point of being anything other than married/committed/engaged?

bethany1982 · #18 10-04-2003, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ladyj39
My boyfriend of three and a half years is Irish/Italian and he bought me a beautiful gold claddaugh ring for Christmas of last year. I wear it on my right hand, heart in. I was at a bar once and a guy asked my friend if I was married. He was Irish from Ireland and when I showed him my claddaugh ring, he backed off.

My BF's parents use them as wedding bands, and they love that he gave one to me. They keep asking him when the other ring is coming! I love it!

That is sooo sweet. I love it!

Hootie · #19 10-05-2003, 01:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AOII_LB93
One of my married coworkers said it best when he said, "Friends don't let friends get promise rings. Get engaged or don't do it at all. Promise rings are ridiculous." (His words, but I agree.)

BLAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY LORD! That is hilarious!

Jadey28 ~
I would have LOVED to have been lavaliered during my sorority years. Only because my parent's and their Greek history together. My mom has my dad's pin in her jewelry box and it's just so dang sweet.

I'd rather receive a guy's letters than a promise ring ANY day...and that I can say even at the age of 23

Munchkin03 · #20 10-05-2003, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AOII_LB93
One of my married coworkers said it best when he said, "Friends don't let friends get promise rings. Get engaged or don't do it at all. Promise rings are ridiculous." (His words, but I agree.)

CTFU...sooo true! I always associated promise rings with my jailbait HS classmates who got these diamond chip rings from Wal-Mart from their boyfriends in high school. Most of them got married, to be sure, but they also ended up divorced within a year or two.

Our claddaghs are more of a cultural statement--the boy is Irish, and wearing them (and learning all about them) was a huge introduction to me into something he values greatly--so it's much more significant than meets the eye. For a GDI who is heavily into Irish culture, it's sorta like being lavaliered.

Quote:

A promise ring would be just another piece of jewelry to wear, unless you are truly committed to someone (and in my opinion that is a bad idea for anyone under the age of 25) what is the point of being anything other than married/committed/engaged?

See, I've always believed it's very hard to put an arbitrary age on when someone is ready for a larger commitment. That age might be good for a girl just getting out of college, who has always been dependent on her parents and needs to be a single career gal for a minute--but it's not so much for someone who has been on her own since 18, working and taking care of herself without anyone's help.

I do agree, however, that you have all the time in the world for rings and things. I remember reading one post where one girl was saying that she felt left out because all of her friends were engaged, and she wanted to be engaged, too--and this was right out of college!

I only know one couple who was engaged at graduation, and they had been high school sweethearts. Most couples, as "joined at the hip" as they were, broke up within weeks after graduation. You experience so much in those last two years of college--when I started my junior year, I had no idea where I wanted to spend my spring semester abroad, to say nothing of spending the rest of my life with someone.

You are young and have so much time. Enjoy college for what it is. Spend a semester abroad. Take an internship in something you never thought you'd do. Become involved in campus life. If he's worthy, he will be there with you when all is said and done.

AchtungBaby80 · #21 10-05-2003, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hootie
I'd rather receive a guy's letters than a promise ring ANY day...and that I can say even at the age of 23

Me, too!

Peaches-n-Cream · #22 10-05-2003, 04:50 PM

My mother and my aunt each gave Claddagh rings to me. For me it is an expression of my culture, not of romance. Several of my relatives wear them on their left hands as wedding bands. I wear mine heart out on my right ring finger. I am involved with someone, but when I switched my ring to heart in and crown out, it stabbed me so I switched it back.

I don't know much about promise rings. I know when a girl was exclusive with a boy in highschool, she wore his hs class ring. Some guys gave girls little heart rings with diamond chips. I never received either. I always think that jewelry is a nice gift. There are some pretty rings that could symbolize your commitment. My sister received a ring from her then boyfriend on Valentine's Day several years ago. It is a three stone ring with an emerald in between two diamonds. It is beautiful.

ZTAMich · #23 10-05-2003, 05:59 PM

I think a promise ring is a nice idea but like others I tend to think couples should just get engaged already! But maybe it's a good idea for couples who are too young to think about being engaged but want to show each other and others the level of committment above exclusive dating.

My BF's HS ring was so BIG I could barely wear it. Had to get a ring guard so I could wear it. I wanted to wear it on a chain around my neck but was always afraid it would break the chain.
One of the first gifts he got me was claddaugh earrings. 7 years later they are one of my favorite peices of jewlery he has bought for me. I love the Irish symbolism behind it and so does he the little Lad.

smiley21 · #24 10-05-2003, 06:42 PM

i didnt know that promise rings were also for serious bf/gf relationships. my sister and a lot of girls at my church had promise rings, but it was a symbol of sexual purity.

Rudey · #25 11-12-2003, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hootie
I've always heard of these called Chastity Rings...but I suppose you could call it a promise to be pure ring.

What the heck is up with this? Listen most self-respecting normal girls don't get railed by like 50 dudes. They also don't advertise the fact that they don't. Both are retarded. Am I honestly the only one that thinks this???

-Rudey
--What the heck is wrong with some people?

Rudey · #26 11-12-2003, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hootie
YES

A lot of the chastity ring relates to chruch. In some churches it's a special father/daughter ceremony where the daughter (LIKE JESSICA SIMPSON) promises to stay pure until marriage...and the father is usually the one to give the ring to the daughter because like in marriage, he'll be the one to give her away.

OK well that's just retarded. Seriously. This is beyond tacky. I'm usually pro-america but if this is an integral part of American culture, I seriously think people in this country need to be re-educated. These people complain that non-virgins are disgusting when they talk about sex. Well yes nobody wants to hear of all the guys who banged a girl. But we still don't want to hear what girl wasn't banged.

On top of that most of the girls that claim they're waiting and are religious become easy.

And finally, I'd like to think it was the girl that gave herself away. Not the father, not anyone else.

-Rudey
--And last I checked Jessice Simpson was not the best role model out there but who am I to argue.

adpialumcsuc · #27 11-12-2003, 05:33 PM

I was just talking to a friend of mine today that got a promise ring from her BF. They have only been seeing each other for a little over a month so I asked what brought it about. She said that he wanted everyone to know that she was "taken". I just find that a little weird. It is almost like he is marking his territory.

Munchkin03 · #28 11-12-2003, 06:29 PM

Why would her father be so up into her virginity? That is daaaaaaaamned creepy if you ask me.

Yes, it does seem as if he's marking his territory. When I was in HS, that's how a lot of those older guys would control their jailbait girlfriends. I can't NOT think of a promise ring as a really rednecky thing to do. But maybe I'm a snob.

Munchkin03 · #29 11-13-2003, 12:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hootie
It's a chastity ring...it's a gift from BOTH parents, but I've had customers tell me the ceremony details (and I don't know what religion they are so who knows)....

I don't think it's creepy. What is wrong with educating your children about the dangers of having premarital relations (especially as a teenager) and encouraging them to wait? If the positive reinforcement doesn't come from the family, then where is it going to come from? And I think parent's should be up in their children's business when it comes to sex....haven't yall ever seen the tobacco and drug commercials? If you love them you'll ask is the sort of theme they advertise. I believe the same applies with sex.

There's nothing wrong with education. I was educated on how to protect myself, and my parents luckily kept it at that. They didn't make my sex life their business. I was told, however, not to do drugs? Why? 'Cause they're illegal. Sex, between two consenting parties, isn't illegal. Had I been caught with pot in the car, I would be in serious trouble to this day. Had I been caught parking? Nope. Sex and drugs really can't be compared in that light--unless you're a fundie.

Sistermadly · #30 11-13-2003, 04:23 AM

I dunno.. promise rings seem awfully high-schoolish to me. I'd say go without and wait for the engagement ring.

James: my DH proposed to me without a ring - his words meant more to me than any stone ever could. He still got me a ring, but I would have been fine without one.