Nice Girls vs. Thugs

[treblk]

Originally posted by DELTABRAT
I also think it represents the "true" essence of what these women are when you take away their "diva" status.

I say that because my cousing, after receiving BOTH an MD and a PHD, proceeded to date and marry a straight GANGSTA. She is from Compton, like myself and basically said that she found other physicians, doctors, pocket protector types to be boring.

Now this former G is a very successful entrepreneur. I also think it has to do with lifestyle. I also think it has to do with "we don't know what these brothas are like behind closed doors. there may be just as much thug in the women as there is business mindedness in the men. Opposites attract but typically, there is probably more in common within their personalities that not. Dr. Dre's wife is totally opposite of what I think people would think she would be. She is very well spoken, dresses nice, and is a classy sistah, pretty much. That doesn't mean she doesn't get freaky in the bedroom, you know what I mean?

The public persona is not TRULY who most of these men are.

We also have to convey that to our children. What you see on videos, etc., is not who these folks are in their everyday lives. It's all just public persona and image.

I could have sworn Dr. Dre's wife was a non-AA. Correct me if I am wrong.
Also look at Snoop's wife. She comes off very intelligent and what not.
I also believe the attraction is the whole "bad boy" image.

[Gina1201]

Originally posted by treblk
I could have sworn Dr. Dre's wife was a non-AA. Correct me if I am wrong.
Also look at Snoop's wife. She comes off very intelligent and what not.
I also believe the attraction is the whole "bad boy" image.

You're right treblk. Dre's wife is not AA.

[NOWorNEVER]

Originally posted by RedefinedDiva
I think that the thug appeal is what attracts a lot of women. Most of us have grown up "straight-laced" and dating a guy that is edgy and/or introduces us to another, more "risky" or daring, side of life is part of the appeal. With so much going around about being a "ride or die" chick, women are falling into that.

I agree. Me, I'm structured, focused, goofy, sometimes impatient and maybe a teeny tiny tad bit high maintenance. So, I want someone who is a little spontaneous and raw. Somebody who can be real and tell me when I'm acting like a b*%ch and speak their mind. I think someone with some street credibility is a turn on. I'm most comfortable with the ENYCE/Vokal wearing brotha. I've been with someone who was like me in a lot of ways. He was really really smart, so much that he intimidated me. But he was so uptight...ugh.

[Steeltrap]

Originally posted by RedefinedDiva
I think that the thug appeal is what attracts a lot of women. Most of us have grown up "straight-laced" and dating a guy that is edgy and/or introduces us to another, more "risky" or daring, side of life is part of the appeal. With so much going around about being a "ride or die" chick, women are falling into that.

Well, I'm almost 40 and don't need or want a risky or daring cat with, ahem, street cred. I want a nice, low-key, somewhat nerdy guy with an education, a respectful personality, a career trajectory that is definitely upward, decent credit and the willingness to be a great father.

[DELTABRAT]

Hey all:Points well takin. DId I say Dre's wife was AA? I don't recall.

[taylaur_2000]

For me it's all about being flexable. If a man can handle himself in the boardroom by day and handle himself in the "street" in the evening, I'm cool with that. Nerds (all the time) just don't work for me. He has to have some flava about him.

[TonyB06]

Question: How much of the appeal, I wonder, is age/maturity/point in life related? (and I'm not questioning anyone's maturity level no matter what their age) I mean, no one wants any one thing -- be it thug, or nerd -- all the time.

But I think as people mature (I'll speak for myself--late 30s) I'm less interested in seriously dating someone who is radically different from me. Yeah, be different, show me some things I don't know, give me new perspectives to consider, but don't be so far out there that agreement on more than 3 or 4 big issues is beyond reach.

It's probably less relevant for guys -- the closest I ever got to falling for a "female thug" was Vivica Fox in "Set It Off." ...I still can't believe they kilt ole girl her like that.

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally posted by taylaur_2000
For me it's all about being flexable. If a man can handle himself in the boardroom by day and handle himself in the "street" in the evening, I'm cool with that. Nerds (all the time) just don't work for me. He has to have some flava about him.

Exactly, Soror!!

[Steeltrap]

Originally posted by TonyB06
Question: How much of the appeal, I wonder, is age/maturity/point in life related? (and I'm not questioning anyone's maturity level no matter what their age) I mean, no one wants any one thing -- be it thug, or nerd -- all the time.

But I think as people mature (I'll speak for myself--late 30s) I'm less interested in seriously dating someone who is radically different from me. Yeah, be different, show me some things I don't know, give me new perspectives to consider, but don't be so far out there that agreement on more than 3 or 4 big issues is beyond reach.

It's probably less relevant for guys -- the closest I ever got to falling for a "female thug" was Vivica Fox in "Set It Off." ...I still can't believe they kilt ole girl her like that.

My disinterest in thugs has always been with me. See, when I was a kid, those were the type of guys who always called me ugly and weird. That isht really colored my self-esteem.

I have never been interested in thuggish guys, even when I was in my teens or 20s. I'm very straight-laced -- never dated in HS, never was kissed until I was in my 20s. Sort of like this Nicole chick on "Freshman Diaries," a new Showtime reality series.

[BlueReign]

Thugs?

Had several and don't intend on being with another one. I was married to one and recently was seriously seeing one. Both had that business sense/street mentality that I found appealing and I always thought that was the kind of man that could keep my interest. But I can say from the experience that I don't want to do that ever again!! I found myself in situations and had some things happen that I don't want to repeat again.

I am almost 40 like Steeltrap and too old to be making the same mistakes.


Now I want a nerd!!

[lovelyivy84]

I guess I just don't believe that the choice is between nerd or semi-thug/lil thug. I know plenty of men who can be honest and real and are not street. I know plenty of intelligent guys who aren't nerds and don't let anybody push them around. I don't think being CONFIDENT has anything to do with being hood!


I just CAN NOT see any appeal in street. I am glad y'all are happy with yours but I would rather be single.

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally posted by lovelyivy84
I guess I just don't believe that the choice is between nerd or semi-thug/lil thug. I know plenty of men who can be honest and real and are not street. I know plenty of intelligent guys who aren't nerds and don't let anybody push them around. I don't think being CONFIDENT has anything to do with being hood!


I just CAN NOT see any appeal in street. I am glad y'all are happy with yours but I would rather be single.

My man is definitely not a thug. He exudes confidence and has street smarts. Is that better?

I don't do thugs either, but I do want a man who can handle his own.

[lovelyivy84]

Originally posted by CrimsonTide4
My man is definitely not a thug. He exudes confidence and has street smarts. Is that better?

I don't do thugs either, but I do want a man who can handle his own.

Okay, that I do understand.

I just wasn't getting how people were all of a sudden wanting thugs!

[brickhouse492]

But for me it comes down to this: here I am, going to various formal events for school, church, etc. How's it going to look if I walk in with this "G unit", go hard, pants-dragging somebody on my arm? Not only that but our men are examples to our children. Next thing you know, my son is going to insist on wearing his hat on backwards talking about "thug 4 life, you better recognize!" People judge us by the company we keep. I haven't even accomplished half of my desired goals. I don't want to be condemned before I have even had the opportunity to present myself.

Nerd's are back in style

[DableST_1]

.Ok.....Maybe people need to state what their definition is of a THUG,,,, Cause many of you state that you have one ,,some stated that you want a thug/business man....I for one have never been attracted to the Pants hangin down with the underwear showing,,,ghetto talking, dirty looking, always wanna fight, type guy..... I don't know why but when I think of a Thug, I think about the men or *Boys* on Making the Band Part II....and there is NOTHING that attracts me to those men AT ALL!!!! I stated before that my hubby can handle himself in the streets...and he can, But don't get it twisted, he is not a THUG! I just feel there is a difference between being Street Smart,,,,and a Thug!

On the flip side, I do know that you have the well-dressed, clean thug as well.......But for some reason THEY don't attract me either.....I guess just the name *THUG* is a turn off for me!

For those of you that like thugs I just want to know why? What attracts you to them? I am not trying to be nosey, just curious.