question for sororities

[ZTAMich]

Good comments Danielle, thanks

Two girls I know of became pregnant while in their GLO. One dropped I think because of financial reasons and time issues as well. I believe she graduated on time go her! The other I think remained active and was still wearing her letters till the very last possible day it didn't fit anymore. Both girls were very well supported by their chapters, even the one who dropped her group. Which I think is how it should be....sisters are supposed to be there through everything, even a surprise pregnancy in college!

[KDShan]

So I'm 'one of those' pregnant sisters. At least I was, my son is now 3 years old. I found out I was pregnant in Nov of my junior year (actually the morning of my 21st birthday). My sisters were some of the first people to know that I was pregnant (my boyfriend had just left the week before for flight school). Before even telling most of the chapter (I had the 4 girls who knew sworn that they wouldn't tell-everyone just thought that I was very very sick b/c of my morning sickness). At Thanksgiving I discussed my options with my parents. I decided that I was going to transfer to a college closer to home, and live with my parents-to save money for the baby (kids are EXPENSIVE!). I decided that I would go Alumna, in order to remain a Kappa Delta. My sisters were amazingly supportive. I announced my pregnancy to the chapter in a pinning circle type ceremony (you should have seen the looks on their faces) and I had the best baby shower (how many of you had a stripper at yours?).
As far as remaining active- I never even considered it. I would not be fair to my child, myself or my sisters. Financially- it would be impossible, time management-wise-again impossible. However, as an alumna I promptly joined an Alumnae Association and as soon as I was eligible I became a chapter advisor. My son has 125 adoring babysitters from the chapter I advise, a ton of 'aunts' from my chapter, and knows the Greek letters Kappa Delta on sight!
I love my sorority, but I love my son more. As a parent you must learn to prioritize, and putting anything before your child, means that your priorities are out of whack. That said, forcing a member to resign or go alumna is not very 'sisterly' that decision should be left up to the woman-however I would hope that she would choose wisely with her child's best interest at heart. By forcing a member to resign or go alum, an org may alienate taht member, thus loosing a potentially great alumna member/advisor/national officer.

edited to add: I transferred colleges, and lived with my parents. Had I transferred to a college with a greek system, and KD-I woulud not have affiliated with that chapter. I would still help the chapter out with recruitment and attend ritual events, but not date parties/socials/formals.

[Glitter650]

I really don't think any NPC org has a national rule about pregnancy, excpet for a provision that you can receive alum status IF YOU WANT IT.. I mean really having a child and dealing with school AND the commitment being an active member requires would take A LOT of time management skills... if someone wants to do that they can... but I think most orgs. offer taking alum status as a courtesy so these women don't have to deactivate for not being able to attend and can have the privleges of alum membership and not worry about getting in trouble all the time for not being able to participate.

[MareImbrium]

My chapter has a diverse group of a few sisters who have children, are married and such. If the sister is pregnant or gets married, then she has the choice to go alum. I really don't think their change in life status should affect whether or not they should be accepted into the sorority.

[33girl]

As I have said before (but will say again) a lot of whether you can remain active depends on the type of chapter you are at. If it's a smaller group where much of the activity is very informal and there's no house or a small house, you can probably do it without compromising the amount of attention you give to your child.

However, if you are at a larger chapter where there is a live-in requirement and the activities are more regimented, you're probably not going to be able to stay active.

[sairose]

Here's my thoughts.

SAI has no rule concerning this. We currently have a member who has a baby, and we had one who was married. They are great sisters and members.

However, the thing is, SAI is quite different from NPC sororities. We do a lot, but not like the NPC's. And because our groups are always smaller than NPC sororities, it's easy to scedule events around everyones lives...in fact, my chapter manages to scedule around one girl for her baby, me and 2 others for church, another for her Delta Zeta commitments, and others for jobs.

My advice to someone who wants to be Greek but is married and/or has a child...consider rushing a Non-NPC org...perhaps a professional like SAI, or a service org like APO. These groups are usually smaller and more willing to scedule around commitments you may have.