My long, sordid rush story...need advice! - Page 2

meridionaleDG · #16 07-21-2003, 02:04 PM

I think if anything it shows you want a sorority for the sisterhood and not just to have letters on your shirt and car.

If someone rushing you does ask why you depledged, just tell the truth. If they don't bring it up, I wouldn't bring it up either. It wouldn't be like keeping a secret, because girls talk and will probably know your situation.

We actually have a girl going through for her 2nd time who went through with my group last year. We know that she depledged on good terms and such, and if I have to talk to her during recruitment, I wouldn't even ask her about that. I wouldn't care why she didn't pledge the other sorority, I would only care if she is right for my sorority. Does that make any sense? I think it is a must for all of us to realize that it is hard to get to know someone in a week - and a stressful week at that. Sometimes people do make mistakes or are given the wrong impression. By the time the day comes to sign your bid, you've had a long few days and are pretty much ready to just belong somewhere period.

I wouldn't hold it against you, especially if you left the other sorority on good terms.

sairose · #17 07-21-2003, 02:21 PM

I wish you luck in Rush, and I hope you get the house you really want. When is your Rush? And please keep us updated!

SparkliiQTMTSU · #18 07-21-2003, 02:30 PM

Girl, you definitly made the right choice. There is no reason to stay in a sorority that you are not happy in. Yhe sorority you join should be someplace that you love a second place to call home you know. Anyways I know how it feels having to go through rush agian. I wouldnt just bring up why you depledged unless someone asks. chances are they may not even remeber. Good Luck and I hope that everything goes well.

Nichole

aephi alum · #19 07-21-2003, 05:55 PM

beachgal - You showed a lot of strength, depledging when you realized you didn't feel at home.

I agree that you shouldn't bring up the question of having depledged, but if you're asked, there's no reason to lie - just tell them what you told us - it wasn't the right fit for you.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you this

but say it tactfully - "it wasn't the right fit" is a lot better and more mature of an answer than "they sucked"

and for all you know, your rusher's best friend might be in the house you depledged from.

Do you have to visit the sorority you depledged from during round 1? I've learned from GC that at some schools you can ask to wait outside during that one party - just because it would be too awkward.

Best of luck - I hope you find your home this time.

MVP4GPB · #20 07-21-2003, 07:19 PM

You probably don't even need to be the one to bring it up during rush conversation-- one year there was a girl on my campus who depledged from Chi O for reasons she made very public, then rushed the next year and wound up a TriDelt (both are hugely popular houses at my school). Anyway, towards the later rounds, most people recognized her as the girl who depledged the year before, but it really didn't have any bearing at all on how my house, or others, saw her.

Also, I believe she spoke the the greek advisor and was excused from going back to her old house during round one when every PNM goes to every house. If you are seriously uncomfortable about visiting your old chapter, you could talk to the people in charge at your school to see if this is an option.

Good luck!! I'm looking forward to your story

beachgal118 · #21 07-21-2003, 08:16 PM

Thanks everyone so much for all the support! You all have made me feel so much better about everything. I have decided that I will go back to the house I de-pledged during round one. Even though I know that particular house is not right for me, I still respect the girls (most of them, anyway...) and feel that going to that first party might show that. Does that make sense? Oh well, I'm trying not to worry about that and just look forward to finding a great home this time around! oh- recruitment is August 25-September 8. I'll definately keep you posted with what happens!

KappaKittyCat · #22 07-22-2003, 01:28 PM

Beachgal, one of my littles rushed twice (long story). During her first rush she was cut from XYZ after first round, and during her second, the PXs-- all of whom knew her and knew that she didn't have any friends in that house-- gave her the option of not going to XYZ's first party. She went to it anyway, was her charming self, and was invited back to second round.

Anyway, my point is that strange things can happen if you're polite and kind. You sound like a really classy lady, and I'm sure you'll present yourself well. Take care.

Buttonz · #23 08-19-2003, 10:08 AM

I understand you being ok to go back to your old house....it dose show respect. Good luck!

SATX*APhi · #24 08-20-2003, 05:16 PM

Best of luck!

breathesgelatin · #25 08-27-2003, 01:52 PM

*Bump*

Rush starts today!

beachgal118 · #26 09-08-2003, 11:19 PM

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm a happy new member of...

ZETA TAU ALPHA at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill!

I love it! It was my top choice and I'm so happy I got it. For all you second time rushees, sometimes things are just better the second time around.

TarHeelGirl · #27 09-08-2003, 11:26 PM

Congrats girl!!

~TarHeelGirl~

honeychile · #28 09-08-2003, 11:27 PM

Congratulations on your ZTA bid, beachgirl!!

tinydancer · #29 09-08-2003, 11:29 PM

Congratulations!! It does my heart good to hear a story like yours.

Kaydee_cutie · #30 09-08-2003, 11:40 PM

Hey there, I am soooo happy for you and ZTA!!! I was a sophomore rushee when I went through and know how awesome it feels to get your first choice!! Have tons of fun!!