I like a guy... he don't like me - Page 2

pinkyphimu · #16 04-21-2003, 12:20 AM

why do we really torture ourselves like this???? i am/ was in a terribly screwed up relationship...not bc our relationship was bad...it was awesome, but it was his family. long story short, his family wanted him to have an arranged marriage (not to me bc i am not indian) to some girl they picked for him in india. he said over and over and over that he would never go through with it. he couldn't tell them about me, even tho he had been planning our wedding! he even said that he would rather not get married at all bc he didn't want to hurt his family by saying he wanted to marry me....and he didn't want to marry some chic they picked for him.....so in feb., he went to india (and swore up and down that it wasn't bc his parents were going to find him a bride. i even told him that i didn't believe him, but that i was going to say i did, so that we could stop arguing about it) and came back engaged. i am mostly over the relationship part, but he was my best friend for the past 10 years!!!! holy canoli, i can't and don't want to give that up, too. but then i think would i ever let a best friend treat me this way...the answer is always no. so why is it that i want to call him? and why when he does call me, i always answer...even tho i have caller id and i know that it only makes things worse? if anyone can figure out why we do these crazy things to ourselves, please let me know. i am not sure how much more i could take of this.

and pm-mama, if he is perfect in every way, except one...then he isn't perfect at all. there is someone who is really perfect out there. that is my daily mantra and it has really helped!

chopper816 · #17 04-21-2003, 12:26 AM

ok, girls are notorious for everything thats been said here, girls are worse than guys when it comes to liking someone but they dont like you, and acting one way, then the next minute acting another...

KillarneyRose · #18 04-21-2003, 12:58 AM

Pinky - Not to give you unsolicited advice...okay, I will give you some unsolicited advice

That boy needs to grow a set of balls and you can and will find someone better than him!

All you college sweeties: Listen to me 'cause I'm old and I've been "out there" in the "real world"! The way things are in college is not the way they are out here (unless you live/work in Washington, DC, which most folks don't) so just hold tight until you graduate and I promise things will improve greatly!!!

recentASAalum · #19 04-21-2003, 01:10 AM

whenever I have guy troubles I always think of a quote I once heard... "Love isn't about finding the perfect person. It's about seeing an imperfect person perfectly." and that always makes me remember that there is someone out there that won't give me the crap that the current guy is giving me... and it helps me to get past all the not so great people and look to the future...

James · #20 04-21-2003, 01:14 AM

Well I don't date guys for the very reason that you girl complain about lol

Which makes my life much easier.

But I will say this. Figure out what good relationship skills are, in terms of consistent actions. Something both defineable and quantifiable. Then develop those consciously. Otherwise you will always be at the mercy of someone else to make you happy or to make your relationship happy.

There are a lot of good people in the world that have bad relationships because they and/or their partner lack good relationship skills (which are different things than what you think you learned in high school). And the worse part is that many people wallow their entire lives in lameness because they don't know the difference.

DeltAlum · #21 04-21-2003, 01:32 AM

I'm sorry about how conceited this may sound, but I just don't know how else to say it.

I had a couple of huge, hopeless crushes in junior high school that went on for a couple of years, but by the time I got to my junior year in high school, I was ready to play -- and had a great time the rest of high school and college. Lots of girls. Lots of dates. Lots of fun. It sort of made up for those heart-wrenching unrequited "(puppy) loves."

Unfortunately, and not by choice, I left some very unhappy young ladies behind. At least four of them, whom I had dated casually or just a couple of times in high school, came to Ohio University, at least partially, because I was there.

While I tried very hard to be nice and considerate and friendly, I just wasn't interested in dating them -- let alone any kind of long (or short) term relationship. I wasn't trying to dump on anyone -- I had just moved on. We just didn't click anymore.

It was also about that time that I met the woman I later married. She put a pretty healthy dent in my dating -- but didn't stop it completely for a couple of years.

The point to this, if there is one, might be that not all college guys are out to dump on women -- sometimes it appears that way because we have (had) our own interests -- and the two sets of interests don't always intersect.

That doesn't make things any easier -- but as the old cliche goes, "It takes two to tango." Or Tangle.

If one of the two isn't interested, it's nearly hopeless. Not always. But usually. And often, time to move on.

James · #22 04-21-2003, 01:36 AM

DeltaAlum Stop! you are giving away secrets . . .! WE might act badly, but its kind of nice if a girl will make herself easy and available for very little effort on our parts isn't it? LOL

But yeah, essentially DeltaAlum is entirely correct. If we were really into you we wouldn't be giving you the problems you are posting about. Bottom line.

Indifference from a guy means he doesn't like you much.

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltAlum
I'm sorry about how conceited this may sound, but I just don't know how else to say it.

I had a couple of huge, hopeless crushes in junior high school that went on for a couple of years, but by the time I got to my junior year in high school, I was ready to play -- and had a great time the rest of high school and college. Lots of girls. Lots of dates. Lots of fun. It sort of made up for those heart-wrenching unrequited "(puppy) loves."

Unfortunately, and not by choice, I left some very unhappy young ladies behind. At least four of them, whom I had dated casually or just a couple of times in high school, came to Ohio University, at least partially, because I was there.

While I tried very hard to be nice and considerate and friendly, I just wasn't interested in dating them -- let alone any kind of long (or short) term relationship. I wasn't trying to dump on anyone -- I had just moved on. We just didn't click anymore.

It was also about that time that I met the woman I later married. She put a pretty healthy dent in my dating -- but didn't stop it completely for a couple of years.

The point to this, if there is one, might be that not all college guys are out to dump on women -- sometimes it appears that way because we have (had) our own interests -- and the two sets of interests don't always intersect.

That doesn't make things any easier -- but as the old cliche goes, "It takes two to tango." Or Tangle.

If one of the two isn't interested, it's nearly hopeless. Not always. But usually. And often, time to move on.

PM_Mama00 · #23 04-21-2003, 03:09 AM

The only thing NOT perfect about this guy is that he doesn't like me like that. He is the sweetest guy, and when we were good friends, he used to be there for me all the time, no matter what. Our friendship just grew apart.

Now the other guy... I'm starting to like him more and more everyday but dammit I know nothing is gona happen!

annice22 · #24 04-22-2003, 09:16 PM

Some advice that I just received recently is "Don't make him your priority when your his option". So, I'm going to try my hardest to not think about him, because I bet that he's not thinking about me.

Annice

So smile (if you can ladies) there are guys out there for us.

Phi Sigma Sigma

James · #25 04-22-2003, 09:55 PM

If someone doesn't want you the way you want them . . . and you are having emotional issues with just being a booty call . . . you should cut them out of your life completely. Otherwise you are just going to keep getting hurt.

Stop dialing them, call block their number. Don't return messages. It makes it easier to get over someone.

DeltAlum · #26 04-22-2003, 11:35 PM

PM,

On the other hand, if a guy doesn't like you, he clearly has no taste. Have a great day.

PM_Mama00 · #27 04-22-2003, 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
If someone doesn't want you the way you want them . . . and you are having emotional issues with just being a booty call . . . you should cut them out of your life completely. Otherwise you are just going to keep getting hurt.

Stop dialing them, call block their number. Don't return messages. It makes it easier to get over someone.

Hey now I just might be happy with bein his booty call, but I won't even get THAT!

Talked to one of his friends tonite.... pretty much told me that if he liked me he'd show it. Well... he doesn't show it. He actually used to call me once in a while before, but ever since he started coming around and hanging out, it's more of me calling.

AngelPhiSig · #28 04-23-2003, 06:24 AM

I had/have a crush for 4 years... *sigh*

I like a guy right now... well I did... hes in a fraternity (duh) and hes dumb dumb dumb dumb!

PM_Mama00 · #29 04-25-2003, 07:55 PM

So the guy that I like (not the Italian)... I've been hanging out with him more lately, but not one on one. Seriously if he doesn't know that I like him by now then I don't even know what to think. And if he does know that I like him, he either likes me back or is just being really cool about it. His friends are awesome too. I am DYING to tell his friend, but I really think it's gona ruin things if he finds out right now (if he doesn't like me back). Ugh I hate this cuz every conversation is great and we have fun when we hang out. There was a lil bit of drama the other nite when we hung out cuz my friends are just stupid sometimes, but really if he even GAVE me a chance I'd be doing backflips. He is the sweetest guy... well at least to me but he has reason to not be sweet to a few of my friends.

I do have to give the disclaimer that if he doesn't like me, our friendship is really cool and I'd want to keep it that way. I hate when feelings get in the way of friendships and screw them up. Who else could I drunk dial and sing weird things to?

James · #30 04-25-2003, 08:09 PM

A wise woman said:

If you love someone set them free,
If they don't come back,
Hunt them down and kill them . . .