Work or Sorority?

[AnchorAlumna]

You can't schedule work around meetings, but you can take off to go to the formal.
Do everyone a favor and resign from your sorority.

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by KDLady12467890

yall literally don't understand how much i hate kd. like, i've been here for a year and a half and my only "friend" in this sorority is my big.

Do KD a favor and resign.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by KDLady12467890

yall literally don't understand how much i hate kd. like, i've been here for a year and a half and my only "friend" in this sorority is my big.

It's content like this that makes logging back into GC every once in a blue moon worth it.

[Kevin]

I am not sure why someone goes through the effort of creating an account and writing an OP leaving out a major factor in that she hates her organization. Hate is a choice. Not making friends when you have so many people who would be open to being friends with you is also a choice. She could choose to reach out and really try to connect with her sisters or even wait for the next crop of new members.

Just understand that: membership is for life, you are giving up on the possibility of having family members (legacies, be they daughters, granddaughters, (YMMV from group to group) and you're giving up on the entire alumnae experience. It's all a choice. You're not going to find many of us here on Greekchat who are going to tell you choosing some job waiting tables over the entire Greek experience is a solid choice.

[panhelrose]

I agree with the above posters. While having a job may be important (at my university, almost everyone has a job/internship/volunteer work they do, and it's something we encourage with our membership), it's important to approach this decision with honesty. If your debate is between being able to afford your membership versus being able to attend chapter, I know for a fact that your treasurer can help you with a payment plan, and next semester you could apply for Emergency Financial Member Status. However, if you've been in the chapter for nearly two years, you 1. know the financial obligations 2. know the time commitment and 3. should reevaluate why you have no friends in the chapter. Being a member of any organization is a two way street - you get out of it what you put into it. You can't blame the organization as a whole if you don't have any friends unless you take an honest look at why that might be. If you're walking around with an "I hate my chapter" attitude, your sisters will notice. If you're not reaching out to girls to hang out or attending events, you'll never make any friends.

At the end of the day, it seems you've made up your mind and were hoping for us to validate your decision. Honestly, and this may be harsh, but I support your decision to drop if you really feel this negatively about being a member, because you'll only bring the group down.

[KDLady12467890]

I go to all the mandatory events, and reach out to sisters - asking if they want to go eat, study, etc. but they always ignore me. At the events I get involved, and sit with the girls yet they never include me in conversation, and when I try to speak up they always talk over me. It's not just as simple as "put yourself out there/make an effort". I do, yet it always fails. Everybody in my sorority has their cliques, yet I somehow missed out on finding mine. Also the president and VP Membership dislike me, and I've even heard of them talking behind my back. I want so much to have a group of lifelong friends and sisters, but unfortunately no matter how hard I've tried, it just doesn't ever work out. I've messaged nationals about it and they haven't replied even though I messaged them over a month ago. Also, the VP Membership and Pres dislike me so much they make it a point to find me in meeting, or other events where we're supposed to have our PACE Face on/be all made up, hair done, dress, heels etc. and they'll point out to me that me makeup isn't just right, or hair needs to be better curled or etc. also one time we had an informal meeting and it was comfort/pj themed so everybody came in without makeup and etc. and I get called out because apparently I don't look good to them without makeup on because I have mild rosacea, even though I think I look bomb af. I mean isn't a sorority supposed to be instilling confidence in others? Because according to what I've experienced, it's not.

[KDLady12467890]

And tbh it's not even me that they single out, they pick on everybody else in the chapter. They feel entitled because they're on the council, and they have singled out nearly every other girl who's not on council. It's ridiculous. We've brought it up and they had a standards meeting, but nothing's changed. Hopefully if i stay in our new pres will be 100000x better and better this chapter.

[Tom Earp]

As A Fraternity guy, all of this amazes me. With todays costs of attending college, just maybe this member happens to need extra money!
Being in a Sorority is extra money that is not a positive must for what it cost.

The snideness of many of the remarks here is unbecoming of you! When members treat a member like this I think it sucks!

Many of my Brothers needed to work jobs to help pay bill such as dues and all of the other things that maybe required much of which is just plain B S and needed only in your minds.

Greek life may be forever, but graduation is more important! I would never belittle a member for trying to pay for college and graduate over being in a group of katty women who look down their noses at a fellow sister!

Shame on all of you!

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by Tom Earp

As A Fraternity guy, all of this amazes me. With todays costs of attending college, just maybe this member happens to need extra money!
Being in a Sorority is extra money that is not a positive must for what it cost.

The snideness of many of the remarks here is unbecoming of you! When members treat a member like this I think it sucks!

Many of my Brothers needed to work jobs to help pay bill such as dues and all of the other things that maybe required much of which is just plain B S and needed only in your minds.

Greek life may be forever, but graduation is more important! I would never belittle a member for trying to pay for college and graduate over being in a group of katty women who look down their noses at a fellow sister!

Shame on all of you!

Once she outed her sorority and said how much she hated it, game over. Yes, this started out smaller, but that blew my mind.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by KDLady12467890

I go to all the mandatory events, and reach out to sisters - asking if they want to go eat, study, etc. but they always ignore me. At the events I get involved, and sit with the girls yet they never include me in conversation, and when I try to speak up they always talk over me. It's not just as simple as "put yourself out there/make an effort". I do, yet it always fails. Everybody in my sorority has their cliques, yet I somehow missed out on finding mine. Also the president and VP Membership dislike me, and I've even heard of them talking behind my back. I want so much to have a group of lifelong friends and sisters, but unfortunately no matter how hard I've tried, it just doesn't ever work out. I've messaged nationals about it and they haven't replied even though I messaged them over a month ago. Also, the VP Membership and Pres dislike me so much they make it a point to find me in meeting, or other events where we're supposed to have our PACE Face on/be all made up, hair done, dress, heels etc. and they'll point out to me that me makeup isn't just right, or hair needs to be better curled or etc. also one time we had an informal meeting and it was comfort/pj themed so everybody came in without makeup and etc. and I get called out because apparently I don't look good to them without makeup on because I have mild rosacea, even though I think I look bomb af. I mean isn't a sorority supposed to be instilling confidence in others? Because according to what I've experienced, it's not.

Yikes. You messaged your national office about this? This is just about one of the biggest no-nos ever. Stick to the chain of command - start with your chapter advisors, then regional advisors, and escalate the problem from there, if needed. Don't skip 10 steps then wonder why you're not receiving a response, especially because this seems like pretty typical chapter drama.

Originally Posted by KDLady12467890

And tbh it's not even me that they single out, they pick on everybody else in the chapter. They feel entitled because they're on the council, and they have singled out nearly every other girl who's not on council. It's ridiculous. We've brought it up and they had a standards meeting, but nothing's changed. Hopefully if i stay in our new pres will be 100000x better and better this chapter.

It sounds like it's just two members who are the problem. How many women are in your chapter? And how long have you been a sister?

Perhaps you need more time. Maybe you need to tap into your big's connections and friends - you said you're close with her. What about making friends with members of the newest or next pledge class?

[thetalady]

Tom, it is exceedingly clear that this really has nothing to do with money or needing to work. She doesn't like her sorority. She wants to quit. She came here to ask GREEK MEMBERS, who obviously love their organizations, if she should quit. She has made her decision and I guess she thought we would say "Oh they are big meanies who have hated me since I pledged and won't be my friend or talk to me and I hate them all." What do you expect from us when we get that attitude?