moving in with boyfriend.. any tales or advice

[SigkapAlumWSU]

I also moved in with my fiance after we got engaged. Be sure to put both your names on the lease, discuss how you will split the bills before hand, and also don't forget about chores! It's suprising how one or both of you may just think the ohter will take care of the dishes or the garbage, and it can be a point of contention if you don't just tell the person you both have to do it. Like everyone has said, maintain a life outside of your apartment. Visit your parents, go out with friends, have a movie night, but take the time to get away every so often.. I know my mom still takes a day off from work every now and then just so she can have some time to herself. It really helps to have your own space.

[missmaam]

my boyfriend and i just moved into an apartment with a year lease this past week and allready he is having second thoughts because it doesnt feel like "home", ive tried telling him that it takes time to build a home, and memories to go along with it, he says the house is "boring" and "theres nothing to do and all we do is work, come to the house and sleep"..but he obviously he wasnt ready to live on his own without his parents or siblings... and doesnt know too much about responsibility...i dont know what is going to happen.. both of our names are on the lease...im still trying to talk him into staying, but who knows what will happen!
my advice is to make sure that both of you are ready to live on your own!!! make sure both names are on the lease & sign a 6 month lease if possible!

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by bluz4

my boyfriend and i will be moving in together after he graduates law school in the spring. it will the first time for the both of us. any tales of cohabitation? any advice or warnings you guys care to share? i'm open to it all....

Don't do it. Marry first.

[AGDee]

Suze Orman (sp?) suggests that finances be split by how much each person makes. So, if one of you makes 60% of the total income of the household and the other makes 40%, then rent, utilities, etc. would be split 60/40.

[KSig RC]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Suze Orman (sp?) suggests that finances be split by how much each person makes. So, if one of you makes 60% of the total income of the household and the other makes 40%, then rent, utilities, etc. would be split 60/40.

You REALLY have to be sure that the couple is able to "handle" such an uneven division, though - for some, 50/50 is better simply because it is, well, simple.

Some people run into problems where the 60 "half" feels entitlement, because he/she "paid for (most of) that" or something similar. Also, if one of the bills (say, internet) is used primarily by the 40 "half", the majority payer may develop issues with paying for the majority of something they don't use.

I realize these issues seem petty, but I've known a few couples who started off paying by wage difference and wound up just splitting necessities 50/50 because it ended fights . . . non-essentials generally wind up paid for by the higher earner somewhat more frequently anyway, barring an extreme case of "macho man syndrome", so it somewhat works out.

[AlphaFrog]

I don't get the whole "split 50/50 or 60/40"...I mean, I understand the concept, but for us, all of our money goes into a joint bank account, which I pay all the bills from. It's also what I use to go grocery shopping and buy things for the kids. I keep a list at all times of things coming up to pay, and know how much money we're going to need for the future 45 days or so (unless I know of a major purchase coming up farther down the line) and approx how much both of our checks are going to be. We have a safety net amount of money that we keep. Anything outside of that is our spending money, and we've hardly ever had a problem just sharing that, without putting limits on who can spend what. I buy shoes and he buys his silly wrestling gear and DVDs and it works out well. I put my foot down, however, at the Bowflex.

[Lil' Hannah]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I don't get the whole "split 50/50 or 60/40"...I mean, I understand the concept, but for us, all of our money goes into a joint bank account, which I pay all the bills from.

Yes but you're married...joint bank accounts aren't a great idea for a couple who is dating without any legal ties/protection.

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I don't get the whole "split 50/50 or 60/40"...I mean, I understand the concept, but for us, all of our money goes into a joint bank account, which I pay all the bills from. It's also what I use to go grocery shopping and buy things for the kids. I keep a list at all times of things coming up to pay, and know how much money we're going to need for the future 45 days or so (unless I know of a major purchase coming up farther down the line) and approx how much both of our checks are going to be. We have a safety net amount of money that we keep. Anything outside of that is our spending money, and we've hardly ever had a problem just sharing that, without putting limits on who can spend what. I buy shoes and he buys his silly wrestling gear and DVDs and it works out well. I put my foot down, however, at the Bowflex.

Maybe that's the advice if you are not married and are "just" cohabitating? Splitting the bills 50/50 doesn't sound fair if one person makes significantly more than the other- especially if the house/apartment was selected based on the higher income earner.

And pooling money if are not married can get really tricky- what do you do if you break up? The higher income person might want a bigger piece of the pooled funds, even though they spent more of it.

[AlwaysSAI]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I put my foot down, however, at the Bowflex.

I <3 that.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by Knoxstudent

This thread is over five years old.

I wonder how it worked out?