Getting your last choice - Page 2

barbino · #16 08-15-2013, 01:40 PM

Every one of us on this board can tell you stories about being "that girl' in "that chapter." I remember a girl who took a bid to a particular chapter and was loved all over campus for being Panhellenic president. I got to know her well; she was a great example of the type of girl who would have added much to any chapter that she was in. She chose the chapter no one else wanted, and improved it much. Importantly, not just her own sisters but girls in other chapters got to see that it was OK to see things differently.

I remember a girl who supposedly cried all through her pledge night because she got her second choice. She stayed in her chapter though, and was one of "those girls" -- the ones that somehow manage to do it all always.

My own best friend did not get her first choice. She was the type of girl that most chapters would want; but she stayed and enjoyed the full sorority experience. Congrats on your bid! You went there for preference night and ranked them, so you must have seen some potential for fitting in there. Enjoy your new chapter with girls that will love you for the person that you are.

scgoldengirl · #17 08-15-2013, 01:56 PM

Just my 2 cents 35 years after being initiated into a chapter that I just love. If I were given the same scenario in 2013, when it came time to sign off on that pref sheet, I would have put the smallest chapter as my #1 choice instead of the 2 larger ones that I actually listed. Why? Because these smaller chapters are so much easier to leave an imprint, to make a difference, etc. I know myself a lot better now and know that I function much better in smaller groups. Bigger sororities might be the desired chapters but the smaller ones aren't necessarily desperate or willing to take anyone. And it doesn't really matter how small or big the group is anyway. It's what you make of it. Trust me-some of the most miserable greek experiences were in top tier chapters. You have to be happy-no matter which house you choose. At the time, I was in the best sorority for me but everybody has different needs and goals.

ChioLu · #18 08-15-2013, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

One of the great things about RFM is it allows virtually every girl to find a home and with enough girls brave enough to take the risk on "that" chapter, "that" chapter will over the course of just a few years become one of the chapters right in the mix. There are plenty of schools where there really isn't a clearly delineated bottom chapter, and yours can absolutely do the same thing because of girls like you who sucked it up about being disappointed and made the best of it. If your chapter isn't filled with entitled hos, then you have a good start.

You can improve your chapter standing by being visible in the best possible sense. Wear your letters with pride and always look your best. Be involved, and bring sisters along. Have fun in public. If you are in a situation where you will be doing ongoing COB (pledging new members outside of fall formal rush), go out of your way to make friends with all kinds of women on campus, and that means Greek-affiliated and independent. That girl in the "it" chapter may have a friend who didn't pledge. She knows her chapter doesn't have room for her, but "that" chapter has some really nice girls (you), and she might feel comfortable recommending you as an alternative. Because hell to the no about recommending her to those byatches at the "it #2" chapter.

Would it be easier to be in the chapter who has no issues with their social status or rush outside of formal? Yes. But they have their own issues to deal with, so don't spend too much time thinking how much greener the grass is.

AMEN!

ZTA1550 · #19 08-15-2013, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SewSheKnits

So, the best thing you can do now besides enjoying getting to know your new sisters is to see where you might fit in to help that chapter become stronger. You've certainly got a good foundation with a group of really nice girls. Get involved and enjoy every minute!

This is brilliant advice. Hopefully you know your own strengths, and definitely you know what interests you. There are so many opportunities for leadership in EVERY chapter. Figure out what you will enjoy and where you can make an impact and GO FOR IT! Congratulations on your bid!

DGTess · #20 08-15-2013, 04:31 PM

I'm going to promise you one thing. Those women who join together to a cohesive team, who do things because they are friends and not because it makes them look better than the Prissy Pis or the Rambunctious Rhos, will honestly believe they're in the best possible chapter.

No matter what others say, no matter what others think, what's in your heart and that of your sisters is what carries the day.

Kevin · #21 08-15-2013, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hithere112

To Kevin, sorry if my post offended you!

No problems whatsoever. I don't know of a single NPC group at OU where you're going to have a sub par experience. Yes, some of the houses are considered more selective. I have a cousin who is (if memory serves) a member of Gamma Phi Beta up there and my sister in law who graduated a few years ago is a Chi Omega.

Just be positive.

WhiteDaisy128 · #22 08-15-2013, 05:42 PM

I agree with the others who say to took at the national organization. Take my organization for example...are there campuses where we struggle? Sure, but there are many more campuses where DG is top of the top. And there are some places where we are cozy in the middle. However, as an international organization, we are awesome (as are ALL NPC organizations!)! You'll spend 4(ish) years on campus with your chapter, and then 60+ years enjoying membership at a much larger level. In those years, you'll interact with women from chapters across the nation and beyond...the ties that bind you in friendship and sisterhood transcend the memories of struggling chapters and local stigmas.

ElvisLover · #23 08-15-2013, 06:10 PM

Congratulations on your bid! Sounds like you're giving your new home a chance, and I bet you'll feel even better about it as more time passes and the rawness of Recruitment wears off. Your description looks like they have a tight sisterhood, which is what being in a soroity should be about. I've known pnms who got their first choice and were disappointed to find out later they didn't have true friends.

ASTalumna06 · #24 08-15-2013, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhiteDaisy128

I agree with the others who say to took at the national organization. Take my organization for example...are there campuses where we struggle? Sure, but there are many more campuses where DG is top of the top. And there are some places where we are cozy in the middle. However, as an international organization, we are awesome (as are ALL NPC organizations!)! You'll spend 4(ish) years on campus with your chapter, and then 60+ years enjoying membership at a much larger level. In those years, you'll interact with women from chapters across the nation and beyond...the ties that bind you in friendship and sisterhood transcend the memories of struggling chapters and local stigmas.

So true.

And after college, you won't only find yourself meeting and bonding with more of your own sisters, but also sisters of other NPCs. I get stupidly excited when I see a girl at the grocery store with a Tri Delta shirt on, or when I see a Phi Mu totebag being carried around at the airport, or when I'm driving behind a car with an Alpha Xi Delta license plate frame. I've met, worked with, and socialized with members of about half of the NPC sororities since I graduated, and every experience has been beyond wonderful.

Every sorority has something great to offer, and you have something great to offer the chapter that you've joined. As others have said, they're nice, and that's half the battle right there. I come from a chapter that struggled (all of the chapters on my small campus did). And when we were down to 9 members, most of us were holding at least 3 positions a piece. We had to work overtime on many things like recruitment, and the annual pageant we hosted, and trying to plan philanthropic and social events. We had days when we were frustrated, and tired, and we just wanted a break. At times, we even got tired of each other. But all the fun we had in between more than made up for all of those hard days. And I wouldn't trade my experience for anything.

It's true what they say: you really do get out of it what you put into it.

Katmandu · #25 08-15-2013, 07:25 PM

First, you didn't come across as whining, entitled or snobby to me. You came across as drained, confused and hurt. Allow yourself to feel those things, (away from your new sisters) then throw yourself into this new experience and see where it takes you. It's not easy to be a member of the smallest chapter on a big campus, but every chapter has issues, some of which are a lot uglier than size. They just aren't readily visible.

Nice, friendly and enthusiastic about wanting you as a sister goes along way in this world. Think of your membership as a lifetime experience. Read up on your chapter history and learn about your founders, ideals and creeds. if you want leadership experience, and want to make a difference, you are in exactly the right place. Wishing you all the best. Let us know how it is going.

ADPiEE · #26 08-15-2013, 10:07 PM

There's only one thing I know for sure about sorority life: Regardless of how popular your chapter is, you only get as much out of it as you put into it.

If you put your heart and soul into having fun with your sisters and improving your chapter--no matter how popular it is--, you will have an amazing time (along with some hard times of course), make some of the best memories of your life, learn life lessons you couldn't learn anywhere else and have friends for life.

hithere112 · #27 08-23-2013, 08:05 PM

Hey everyone, thanks for all your support and advice. My chapter has not had as many events as other chapters for new members, and I heard that people have dropped. We will be having our first new member meeting soon so I am excited! However today I received an email that 3 chapters will be participating in COB, and one I really liked during formal. I am trying not to think about it, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a teeny bit disappointed. I have been by the house voluntarily, but am still finding it a little difficult to connect. I suppose that will just come in time.

AOII Angel · #28 08-23-2013, 09:57 PM

It doesn't matter if those chapters COB... You aren't eligible. It's water under the bridge. Keep focusing on what you have and not what could have been.

hithere112 · #29 08-23-2013, 10:23 PM

You're right. And I know. Hopefully as we start having chapter and I get to MEET my pledge class it will become easier.

AXiDTrish · #30 08-23-2013, 10:28 PM

Different sororities have different events and timeframes for new members. Just because one is having more events now, doesn't mean yours will/won't have more later. Take one day at a time and enjoy it!

Also, I'm not familiar with your campus, but I assume there are more than two sororities on the campus correct? If so, are you really getting your last choice? Did you "cut" anyone during recruitment or feel like you didn't fit in one of those other chapter? You did not get your last choice. Those would have been your last choice.

Sororities are cyclical. They might be good for 5 years or 10, but one or two years of new member classes that aren't as strong/lack leaders, etc will flip the "tiers." A few years of strong recruiting for a weaker chapter will also cause the flip. Be part of the flip! I was in that "bottom tier" chapter (15 years ago) and it's been amazing to see them transform over the years. I KNOW I contributed to their continuing success even now. Have FUN! Love it!