Is Colony Recruitment Worth It?

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by Old_Row

If you are an adult and paying for your sorority I don't understand why that would be your parents' business if you are keeping up with your grades and everything else.

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

It doesn't matter why. If they are going to punish her because of something bad she's doing (which is their perception), then the OP has to work within that construct. Is it wrong? Yes. But that's what she's got to work with so the best we can do is give her advice to deal with it.

On the one hand, it is not their business and she is an adult to live her life as she pleases. On the other, if someone is paying your tuition and living expenses, and they threaten to cut off part or all of it if you join a sorority, I'd think you should consider your options. Unfair? It's their money and no legal obligation to support their adult kid. I'm sorry that this will be an unpopular opinion, but I do think the tangible benefits of graduating debt-free in today's society outweigh the intangible benefits of Greek Life. If OP will only be slightly burdened by the lack of financial support and is ok with that, that's another story. If she feels her parents are oppressive, I'd still take their money and then deal with that issue after she graduates debt-free.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

On the one hand, it is not their business and she is an adult to live her life as she pleases. On the other, if someone is paying your tuition and living expenses, and they threaten to cut off part or all of it if you join a sorority, I'd think you should consider your options. Unfair? It's their money and no legal obligation to support their adult kid. I'm sorry that this will be an unpopular opinion, but I do think the tangible benefits of graduating debt-free in today's society outweigh the intangible benefits of Greek Life. If OP will only be slightly burdened by the lack of financial support and is ok with that, that's another story. If she feels her parents are oppressive, I'd still take their money and then deal with that issue after she graduates debt-free.

The issue here has NOTHING to do with money or graduating debt-free. The issue here has to deal with overly controlling parents. "If you join and can't keep your grades up, you'll have to quit" - mean, but understandable. But flat out saying if you join this or that group, even if you pay for it all yourself and keep your grades up, you get less money? What's next? If you live in the coed dorm, we'll cut you off? If you don't get home on time for Thanksgiving break, we'll cut you off? "Assistance" with strings of this sort based on it has nothing to do with love for a child, it has to do with control.

Personally I think she should tell her parents to shove their money up their asses and emancipate herself, but that's easy for me to say.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Personally I think she should tell her parents to shove their money up their asses and emancipate herself, but that's easy for me to say.

Could not agree with you more. It's the lack of jobs out there and 5-6 figure debt that compels me to recommend students to suck it up until they graduate, and then do as they please. I paid my own way through (what was then a cheap) undergrad, and now that I'm saddled with insane grad school debt, I really think twice when students with a parent-paid ride want to bite the hand that feeds them. I think you're absolutely right, but if I had to do it over and had help, I'd gladly accept any restrictions on my social activities if it meant not having to live in this level of student debt.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Could not agree with you more. It's the lack of jobs out there and 5-6 figure debt that compels me to recommend students to suck it up until they graduate, and then do as they please. I paid my own way through (what was then a cheap) undergrad, and now that I'm saddled with insane grad school debt, I really think twice when students with a parent-paid ride want to bite the hand that feeds them. I think you're absolutely right, but if I had to do it over and had help, I'd gladly accept any restrictions on my social activities if it meant not having to live in this level of student debt.

So are you saying you'd be willing to give up your entire sorority experience if someone paid you enough? Whether that's accurate or not, I don't know, but I think it's really easy to say what you've said when you're already in a sorority.

To the OP - if you're willing to pay for it on your own, I say go for it. It doesn't sound as though your parents will stop talking to you entirely if you join, so what's the difference? If you understand that your path might be a little more difficult, and you know you can swing it on your own, and you truly feel that you want to be a part of Greek life, then you should try to be a part of Greek life.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by 33girl

The issue here has NOTHING to do with money or graduating debt-free. The issue here has to deal with overly controlling parents.

Realistically, the issue has to do with all of the above.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Realistically, the issue has to do with all of the above.

I just meant that in the sense of this sounds like the tip of the iceberg with the parents saying "if you do ____ or don't do ______ we will withhold _____."

[atrianglepi]

I know a girl who joined a colony last fall. It was her Senior year. Her parents were against it, even though her mother had been in a different GLO in college. She went through the interview process with some advice from her BFF's mom(me). She was chosen and thoroughly enjoyed her experience. Fast forward, she has graduated moved back to her home state, where she has gotten involved with her local Alumnae group and signed up to act as an advisor to a local chapter. It is for a lifetime!

[DubaiSis]

You have a great and very responsible attitude. I'm sure you'll work it out.

[Missouri Ivy]

Best wishes to you. You seem like a very mature young woman.

[pinkandpearls]

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[WhiteDaisy128]

I joined a colony my junior year and it was a wonderful experience. It's a neat opportunity to mold the group and a good opportunity for instant leadership.

Can't wait to hear the rest. Good luck.

[KSUViolet06]

^^^To be fair, the same could be said if you were at an event for an established sorority (re: the "everyone is so different" and "how do we ever find things in common?" comments. Trust me, you would find people who share your interests. This is especially true at schools where chapters are rather large (like 75+.)

[DubaiSis]

You make it sound like there were a lot of girls there. Presuming there are enough girls in the pool that the colony can be pretty selective, cohesiveness will definitely play a role. Play along and when you get to the preference event, THEN look around. If you are still feeling like it's too disconnected, then maybe you should wait and see what they look like in a semester. But sororities don't have cookie cutters. The new chapter is NOT going to be 100 blonde, 5'6" ballet types. Or whatever image you have in your head of what a sorority girl looks like. The similarities will be in that the girls will all be driven, enthusiastic, leaders, that type of thing. The similarity won't necessarily be by appearance.

[pinkandpearls]

Good Morning All,

After having slept on it I feel a lot better. Chapters at my school are not Alabama sized, however they are significantly above 75. There are definitely more girls interested than will be selected. I am an extremely organized micromanager/scheduler so I think not seeing that cohesiveness right away just freaked me out, but after getting some rest my outlook is a lot more positive. Bid Day also freaked me out a bit- you have to go either way and will receive a bid card or a regret card. When I read things on here it seemed like if you weren't receiving a bid you would get a phone call before hand. However, I can't wait to see what the next week and a half will bring. Thank you all so much for all your help!

[Sciencewoman]

Originally Posted by pinkandpearls

Bid Day also freaked me out a bit- you have to go either way and will receive a bid card or a regret card. When I read things on here it seemed like if you weren't receiving a bid you would get a phone call before hand.

I agree...this sounds awful. Are you sure you're interpreting this correctly? I can't imagine everyone congregating together, and then either getting a "go home now" card or a "join the party!" card.