How would you handling seeing people who don't like you while rushing

[Titchou]

And if you go thru NPC recruitment, DO NOT use the term "soror" - you won't like the reaction you get. We are sisters. NPHC female members are sorors. Please do not insult them.

[FSUZeta]

A girl that ruined my life in middle school pledged the same sorority as me- I saw her at a local ice cream place a few weeks ago, both of us in letters, and we just sort of laughed about how we possibly ended up in the same group and chit chatted about our experiences. Unsurprising to everyone but us, we have a lot in common and have hung out and crafted a few times since then. Unless you have serious issues with these girls (like, they can say "in high school she threw rocks at old people and slept with three of my boyfriends and came to graduation on coke) then it's probably not that big of a deal.

It can be a HUGE deal. If these girls look at her as an "enemy", they can keep her from being invited back to the next set of parties, not only at their own sorority, but at others too. It just depends on the amount of animosity they feel toward the OP.

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

It can be a HUGE deal. If these girls look at her as an "enemy", they can keep her from being invited back to the next set of parties, not only at their own sorority, but at others too. It just depends on the amount of animosity they feel toward the OP.

Very, very true. But she cannot undo the past, so she has to put on her best attitude and face the music.

[justgo_withit]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

It can be a HUGE deal. If these girls look at her as an "enemy", they can keep her from being invited back to the next set of parties, not only at their own sorority, but at others too. It just depends on the amount of animosity they feel toward the OP.

You're definitely right, I guess I didn't convey that in what I said. If someone did something bad enough (I was exaggerating with the throwing rocks bit, but I meant "something really awful or scandalous") then a small group can keep someone out of a group, absolutely. But if it was just stupid high school stuff like "she was lame and I don't like her" then it's not the kiss of death, I would think. Though I did not go through a competitive recruitment, so perhaps it could be that way at other schools? I could incorrectly be assuming that doesn't need recs = not that cutthroat. I could also be underestimating the degree of hate between the OP and the actives, or the positions of the actives. If a girl actively hates you and she's the recruitment chair, that's a whole 'nother thing.

[carnation]

Or even if she's a member--she can just collect some "no" votes from her friends and the girl is gone.

Originally Posted by justgo_withit

A girl that ruined my life in middle school pledged the same sorority as me- I saw her at a local ice cream place a few weeks ago, both of us in letters, and we just sort of laughed about how we possibly ended up in the same group and chit chatted about our experiences. Unsurprising to everyone but us, we have a lot in common and have hung out and crafted a few times since then. Unless you have serious issues with these girls (like, they can say "in high school she threw rocks at old people and slept with three of my boyfriends and came to graduation on coke) then it's probably not that big of a deal.

I understand where you are coming from, but the person who made the rude comment could have messaged me about the username instead of saying that, hence why i responded with the same level of respect that was received. And sorry that's not how i meant to come off. Like i said i just made up something to quickly be let in the forum. And thanks for your advice.I am glad you made friends with her.

Originally Posted by Titchou

And if you go thru NPC recruitment, DO NOT use the term "soror" - you won't like the reaction you get. We are sisters. NPHC female members are sorors. Please do not insult them.

Thank you I wasn't plan to do so. I just wrote that on my username to shorten the word. Like I said I wasn't aware that it was an actual term. This is blowing way out of proportions and going off topic. However, thanks for heads up for future reference.

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

It can be a HUGE deal. If these girls look at her as an "enemy", they can keep her from being invited back to the next set of parties, not only at their own sorority, but at others too. It just depends on the amount of animosity they feel toward the OP.

Thank you for explaining that, that is exactly what i was worried about. I'm not as worried now reading some of the others' comments.

Originally Posted by justgo_withit

You're definitely right, I guess I didn't convey that in what I said. If someone did something bad enough (I was exaggerating with the throwing rocks bit, but I meant "something really awful or scandalous") then a small group can keep someone out of a group, absolutely. But if it was just stupid high school stuff like "she was lame and I don't like her" then it's not the kiss of death, I would think. Though I did not go through a competitive recruitment, so perhaps it could be that way at other schools? I could incorrectly be assuming that doesn't need recs = not that cutthroat. I could also be underestimating the degree of hate between the OP and the actives, or the positions of the actives. If a girl actively hates you and she's the recruitment chair, that's a whole 'nother thing.

I don't need recs so competition isn't as cutthroat, but that doesn't make some females any less cutthroat lol. Unfortunately, although we are in college I have seen many people hold grudges from high school towards other people. That kind of animosity just worried me I guess.

Originally Posted by MaryPoppins

Very, very true. But she cannot undo the past, so she has to put on her best attitude and face the music.

Thanks you are right. That is what I am going to do then. Go in with a positive attitude and a smile.

[justgo_withit]

Maybe my high school experience was different and therefore my perspective is totally jacked up, but someone would've had to do something extreme in high school for me to still be like "No, no, absolute no! Ugh I HATE her," as a junior in college. There are girls that I would be hesitant of if I saw their names on a list of PNMs, but I'd just let my sisters evaluate- if they were dumb and awful and annoying in high school, I'd think that either they'll have grown up and be fine or their awfulness will be apparent to the sisters rushing them.

Originally Posted by justgo_withit

Maybe my high school experience was different and therefore my perspective is totally jacked up, but someone would've had to do something extreme in high school for me to still be like "No, no, absolute no! Ugh I HATE her," as a junior in college. There are girls that I would be hesitant of if I saw their names on a list of PNMs, but I'd just let my sisters evaluate- if they were dumb and awful and annoying in high school, I'd think that either they'll have grown up and be fine or their awfulness will be apparent to the sisters rushing them.

Very true. Thank you for taking the time out to give me advice. I feel a bit more confident that if I am just myself I should be fine. People tell me I have a great personality and that I am friendly so hopefully I will find a sorority right for me and hopefully they will think I fit them nicely.

[thetalady]

A couple of questions because I think we are not clear on your situation... having so little information makes it hard to properly address all of these questions.

1. are you planning to rush an NPC organization? or some other type of GLO?

2. why are you just now rushing as a junior? This is definitely a question that will be asked in some form at rush events. You need to have a good response... and understand that it may make it tougher for you to get a bid.

Originally Posted by thetalady

A couple of questions because I think we are not clear on your situation... having so little information makes it hard to properly address all of these questions.

1. are you planning to rush an NPC organization? or some other type of GLO?

2. why are you just now rushing as a junior? This is definitely a question that will be asked in some form at rush events. You need to have a good response... and understand that it may make it tougher for you to get a bid.

Yes i do plan on rushing an NPC organization.And i know exactly what i am going to tell them as my reasoning for joining as a junior and at first it was a concern of mine, but i have talked to someone in a sorority there and they said i will be fine because it is not a competitive school and they take a lot of juniors and seniors. My situation was just being scared that i won't get a bid due to having past issues with members if I happened to see any there.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

they take a lot of juniors and seniors.

Someone is lying.