ITT we share stories of horrible roommates

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by pshsx1

I had 6 different roommates my Freshman year... :|

My roommate pledged Xi Gamma (name changed) and was forced to drink a ton one night.

I wake up the next morning in order to go to church (part of my new member reqs) and find my white towels, shower curtains, rug, and EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE BATHROOM covered in vomit and poop.

No joke.

O... M... G.

Also, one of my other roommates stole my camera printer and my credit card ($280 worth)... all on porn...

I could say way more about the others... but damn... ugh.

You poor thing.

[honeychile]

I went to the thread that KSUViolet linked, and re-read my contribution. There's a slight edit:

Said roomie owed so many people money by the time she went home out of state. Hundreds to some, thousands to her roomie after me.

We had a reunion about 9 years after we graduated, and no one even thought about asking her - but we all wondered what she was now up to. Working on 1-900 sex hot line? In jail? Institutionalized? So, we decided to try to call her.

Now, this was before cellphones were common, so about 10 of us crammed in and around a payphone. Somebody asked, "Who's going to pay for this call, or are we all going to chip in?" My precious Little said, "We're calling collect - it's not like she doesn't owe all of us!"

And yes, she was in telemarketing!

[sanjiyan69]

Originally Posted by honeychile

I went to the thread that KSUViolet linked, and re-read my contribution. There's a slight edit:

Said roomie owed so many people money by the time she went home out of state. Hundreds to some, thousands to her roomie after me.

We had a reunion about 9 years after we graduated, and no one even thought about asking her - but we all wondered what she was now up to. Working on 1-900 sex hot line? In jail? Institutionalized? So, we decided to try to call her.

Now, this was before cellphones were common, so about 10 of us crammed in and around a payphone. Somebody asked, "Who's going to pay for this call, or are we all going to chip in?" My precious Little said, "We're calling collect - it's not like she doesn't owe all of us!"

And yes, she was in telemarketing!

what type of "telemarketing"?

[BAckbOwlsgIrl]

I had the roommate from Heaven. She was a fully practicing, devout, fanatical Mormon.

I would be running late for class in the morning and say "SHIT!"
She told me that I was going to Hell for swearing.

Her Loser/Dork boyfriend called me "potty mouth" for swearing.
Loser/Dork would sit on my bed without straightening it out when he left.
Because Loser/dork boyfriend was over so much, had the most ANNOYING voice andI could not study, let alone have time to myself, "DORK HOURS" were established with the help of the RA. DORK could only be around certain times so I could study. Otherwise, he had to leave.

We would drive to BORDER TOWN to drink. Roomie wanted to go to BORDER TOWN but not drink. Hello? WTF? That is why we go to BORDER TOWN is to drink. There is nothing good to do in BORDER TOWN but drink.

[sigmagirl10]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

You poor thing.

This sounds like my (roommate's) weekend!

I woke up at 4am on a Sunday to my roommate vomiting in the bathroom...put a pillow over my ears and tried to sleep. She came into the room at 5:30 and as soon as she was snoring, I moved to the couch. I was afraid to go in the bathroom, and the entire apartment reeked of vomit. When I woke up an hour later, I discovered that she'd used my towels and bath mat to "clean" the floor...so I peaced out of the apartment and left her a note asking her to replace them.

It took her three tries and the entire day to get the floor clean/the vomit smell out, and she didn't think to use bleach until I suggested it.

So disgusting...

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by sanjiyan69

what type of "telemarketing"?

Something so exciting, I can't remember what. And she didn't have the voice for the type most men would think!

[GammaPhi88]

I think I may have posted an abbreviated version of my roommate experience before, but I may as well go here.

My freshman year of college, my roommate was an extremely scary pathological liar with a harassment record. The first thing she said to me was that white people make her uncomfortable, and that she hopes I don't mind her gigantic...um....dueling banjos. So I'm thinking to myself about how I can possibly play down the fact that I am white and strategies to dry my bras at odd hours so she wouldn't notice their less than average size. This turns out to be the least of my worries. I get to college as an extremely timid freshman, and she not only confuses me by also being white, but she is essentially Bon Qui Qui...gurrrrrl she will cuuuut you. She threatened to cut everyone left and right. It was really odd and scary. She was also a crazy pathological liar who told me that she was going to law school, and college was really just a formality because she was already accepted at Columbia law. Her "acceptance letter" was laughable...it was obviously photoshopped and the letterhead said 'Colombia Law'.

Anyway, because I was a really dumb freshman, I told the floor that she was scary and threatened to cut me, not expecting she'd figure it out when things got back to her. Turns out she doesn't like bitches like me who talk crap...gurrrl she will cut them. Which means gurrrrl she will cut me. And no, no empty threat. She brandished a switchblade, I somehow got out of there and went tearing into my RA's room. The campus security didn't believe me until they found the blade in her room. She said it was a box cutter. She needs to cut boxes. It was a struggle to get it back.

Postscript: The university let her stay in her room and didn't give her another roommate. While they didn't do anything about her violent behavior, they asked her if she could possibly threaten people less. She said she'd think about it. Fast forward three years later...guess who sat behind me when I took the LSAT? I wonder how her crim law class at "Colombia Law" is going.

So after these harrowing first two weeks of college, I went to live with my new roommate, who I shall call Melinda, and her boyfriend, Cape Man. Once I got to know them, they were actually very nice, albeit odd, but it was kind of a shaky start.

I walked into my new room, determined that this would work, and found it dark, with white sheets strewn all over her side. As I go to introduce myself on her side of the room (we had these cool little half wall partitions), I find her flung face forward on her bed, distraught. Cape Man rises and looks at me menacingly. I introduce myself as the new roommate. Cape Man swishes his cape at me, and in the austere setting of my new room, I was fairly unnerved. So I went back to my side of the room to make everything pink and covered in glitter.

In the midst of hanging up four million photos of my friends from high school, I hear a thrash. She yells at him. He yells back. She yells back, and he starts crying. No, sobbing. Loudly. Sobbing and yelling wahhhhhhitriedsohardddddd. She starts sobbing and yelling back. I have no idea what they were fighting about, but they soon made up, if you catch my drift, and I found myself and my computer, sitting outside my door and explaining to my new hallmates who the hell I was.

The next day, I thought it would all be fine once I found an apology note on my desk from her. Then on my ride up, I got in the elevator with her and Cape Man. He turns to her, and as if I wasn't actually alive, said, "Look. It's the roommate." She replied, "yes. The roommate." He says, in monotone, "Ahhh, the roommate. We should...take her out for chinese food." She replies, also in robotic monotone, "Yes. Chinese food." They turned to me mechanically and said, "Do you like...chinese food?"

Melinda and Cape Man actually turned out to be the most entertaining people to live with. Yes, he got mad at me when I stepped on his cape, but their antics were so ridiculous that I sometimes miss them, and how they made up for my lack of television. She would go hunting on the weekends, and come back and make deer jerky in the room, and then they would fight because he was convinced she was boinking other hunters in the woods. One night, I heard loud crashing, and as it got increasingly loud, I realized few people knock THAT many things over when they have sex and worked up the courage to peek around the half wall. They were sword fighting. With rubber swords. Of course. Sometimes, they would disappear for a week and I would blissfully enjoy my single room until my RA asked if they were alive, glowering at me when I asked if that was a trick question.

Sometimes, when Cape Man was magically not with her (which was rare...they would go to class together, even if only one of them was actually enrolled in said class), Melinda would give me love advice. She meant well, but it was all I could do to keep a straight face when she would say stuff like, "I have had but a year of my sweet Cape Man darling, and my heart knows only boundless joy. If only I had known when I walked into Chemistry my freshman year, that I would soon taste the bittersweet nectar of the fruit of true love, and its intoxicant would course through my veins."

The following year, I lived with three friends, one who expected us to lie to her boyfriend because she was cheating on him, and another who would have parties, not invite us, and then get mad that we wouldn't clean up after her. By the end of that year, I really missed Cape Man.

There are no stories about my current roommate, since he is a wonderful classmate of mine who has to be the most laid back person I've ever met. We have recognized that I am fantastic at keeping a spotless bathroom, and he is compulsive about keeping the kitchen neat. It is idyllic, but there are no good stories.

[christiangirl]

Hahahahahahaha I am in love with this post! They sound so delightfully weird. I think I would have loved them and been scared of them at the same time.

[libramunoz]

I think my crazy roommate story was just bizarre. Anywho (that damn word is on my nerves already) my first roommate, she was o.k. Except for the fact that she called me during the summer vacay and asked if we wanted to have matching bedcovers. I was like, whhhhoooo in the hellllll are you? She was a nice girl and we turned out to be good friends later on, but not roommates. She had some strannnnngggggeee friends.
I am a loony tuney about others not sitting on my bed, especially after I just washed my white bedspread. Anyways, when I came in and found one of her friends sitting on said bedspread and I come in and they not move, steeerrriiiikkkkee 1.
At that time I had pictures of my family on the wall. Same said friend looked at a picture of my grandfather and said something about him being a "playa" and being "mr. playa" and I about hit her and the wall! SSSSStttttttrrrrriiiiikkkkkkeee 2-15, I was outta there. I then moved in with, let me call her Sarah, unbeknownst to me, I have headed into crazyville, and it's a bitch on a good day.

When I moved in with Sarah, she had boo-tee-ful sheets and comforter set--shades of pink and grey. When she moved out, they were both gray because, she NEVER, EVER, EVER, NEVER washed them. I was in there for three months and never saw said trick Sarah wash them.

Then came the missing items. First my laundry soap, first week, box full, second week, box half full, third week, box three quarters full, fourth week, box empty. I'm like, whaaaatttt? Mom sends another box, same shit begins to happen, HUH? I'm not going through THAT much laundry detergent.

Then my body soap comes up missing. First one bar, then another, then another, you get the picture. Fam sends somemore, same shit begins to happen. HUH? WTF!

Then my toilet paper comes up missing? Damn, I know I'm a big girl, but I'm NOT EATING the Toilet paper!

Same for the toothpaster, paper, pens, you name it! OK, some mutha is finna get cut! Ding, Ding, Ding, light bulb comes on, put crap in locker, and LOCK IT!

(in best Gomer Pyle voice) Surprise, Surprise, Surprise! No more missing items!

Then comes the cleanliness of the room. She never cleaned jack! I mean NEVER! She kept a trash bag at the foot of her bed filled with everything from general trash to used sanitary napkins. How do I know that, I was asleep in the room one night and she came in and that's what woke me up. I saw the trick change her sanitary napkin on the edge of the bed and put it in that DAMN trash bag. I used so much cinnamon room spray, I hate the damn stuff! Cannot stand the smell to this day!

The way the room was, I it had a line (from the linelonium???) down the middle of the room that split the room in two. When I cleaned, I cleaned ONLY my side! When room inspections were done, I got 4's and 5's and her, that shit was in the negatives.

Then some of her friends got so mad at her that they took a hammer and beat her retainer, poured liquid bleach in her shampoo, and stole her clothes. She pissed them off over telling lies and owing money. But homechick bragged that she was a rich trick.

Hell, then comes weirdos approaching me on trick Sarah's behalf to pass messages! At that time, our school had just gotten the phone system in the room. Up until then, if people saw you on campus or needed to get a message to you, call the pay phone or call the dorm front office and leave a message for said person. I'm walking home from the library one night and someone yells across the yard, "Libby, Libby, Libby," I'm a freshman and still a bit of a dork, and am like "whoa, huh, who" because who notices a freshman? Same said person yells again, "Libby" and I'm like, Yeah, and they tell me, "Tell your roomie Sarah, thanks for the train last night." Yes, I'm from the country and my mother didn't really talk about sex. So I ask him "what train, was there one that comes into town?" He starts laughing his ass off! And yeah, he says, "Yeah, THAT train." I tell him, OK! I go to dorm and ask RA about it and am told the truth and yell out "EEEEEEWWWWWWW!"

That night (night of mid-term exams) and the fight is on! I mean we are yelling and screaming at each other. Same RA has to come in three times with the dorm mother to stop the fight! Trick Sarah accuses me of stealing her clothes (hell, at that time, I was a size 26 and she was a size 12), and even the RA and dorm mother look at her and ask, "where is she going to wear them, her foot!" Fight goes from 10p to about 6am. I miss morning mid term and am running across campus to take exam (and yes, I passed the HELL out of that sucker).

Anywho, this was all by the first semester and she came back after Chistmas vacay and stayed two weeks before dropping out! I PAID for a single room therefore and everafter that I could! I easily found out I'm weird on my own, I didn't need the help.