Virgin Diaries - Page 2

DrPhil · #16 12-07-2011, 06:18 PM

Virginity is no laughing matter but this show apparently is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCv3c_DWhq0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw8AN...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhtXW...eature=related

http://popwatch.ew.com/2011/12/05/vi...remiere-react/

cheerfulgreek · #17 12-07-2011, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by groovypq

I don't get the no kissing either. Why is that something that needs to be "saved"?

.

I agree. I totally don't see anything wrong with kissing, either. I mean, there are all kinds of things couples can do with each other sexually without actually "doing the do".

amIblue? · #18 12-07-2011, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I agree. I totally don't see anything wrong with kissing, either. I mean, there are all kinds of things couples can do with each other sexually without actually "doing the do".

But that can get to the point of being only "technically" a virgin.

KSUViolet06 · #19 12-07-2011, 06:49 PM

^^^There's this thing, too.

Dealing with youth groups, I've had kids ask me "what is the MOST I can do with a guy/girl and still be a virgin?"

Seriously? What is the point of it if all you're trying to do is find loopholes to "sort of do it" without technically doing it. All done while typically being all "oh no she didn't!!!! that slut!!!" about their non-Christian friends who actually do it.

DrPhil · #20 12-07-2011, 06:54 PM

Phrases I have heard people use about "technical virgins":

1. "Everything but slut"
2. "Only takes it in the booty, cutie"
3. "Oral sex is safe sex"

If people are going to engage in sex stuff without "having sex," they are bullshitting virginity. Just do the deed and stop playing with it.

A friend of mine was a born again virgin. She and her husband were abstaining until their wedding day. Or...so we thought until the bachelorette party when we had some liquor and she told us that they do 69s. They gave each other "good head" so they knew what each other had to offer. They did everything except copulation. I was like...well damn...alrighty then.

christiangirl · #21 12-07-2011, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Dealing with youth groups, I've had kids ask me "what is the MOST I can do with a guy/girl and still be a virgin?"

Seriously? What is the point of it if all you're trying to do is find loopholes to "sort of do it" without technically doing it.

Kids will try to find loopholes to "sort of do" a lot of things in life because everything feels better when you think you're getting around a rule. I realize there are adults who also do this, but an adult is more likely to know that not having sex makes you no less of a sexual being and that you can enjoy physicality without compromising yourself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

If people are going to engage in sex stuff without "having sex," they are bullshitting virginity.

SPEAK. The advice I give to my young ones (at church) is to stop at the point where they feel they are compromising themselves and their values. If you get all the way to sex and don't feel that way, then you need to ask yourself why you're waiting in the first place.

Ugh. I leave for camp in 2 days and I'm sure this will be a hot topic during cabin time.

Munchkin03 · #22 12-07-2011, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I agree. I totally don't see anything wrong with kissing, either. I mean, there are all kinds of things couples can do with each other sexually without actually "doing the do".

...uhh, doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of waiting? Heavy petting, oral sex, and even anal sex* ARE SEX. Just because they don't make the babeez doesn't reduce their significance as sex acts. It's still an extremely intimate act with another person.

It seems like Christians are the craziest about this. I know plenty of Muslims and Orthodox Jews who didn't have sex before they were married...at all. There was kissing, but none of this "everything but, including up the butt" nonsense that Christians seem to come up with. There's this really weird shame about adult human sexuality. I don't think you'd just automatically shed it after marriage, either.

*I knew people who took those G-d awful chastity pledges and still had anal sex. Unprotected, of course, because only slutty sluts bring condoms and therefore PLAN to have sex.

Cen1aur 1963 · #23 12-07-2011, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I agree. I totally don't see anything wrong with kissing, either. I mean, there are all kinds of things couples can do with each other sexually without actually "doing the do".

I'm not trying to get all in your business, but would you be cool with anal?

Born again virgins, virgins, or what not, that's all good, and I can respect that, but I really don't see why folks do everything but sex. Either do it, or don't do it all. But at the same time communicate that to your partner, because some folks aren't down with that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

If people are going to engage in sex stuff without "having sex," they are bullshitting virginity. Just do the deed and stop playing with it.

LOL I feel you on this.

Cen1aur 1963 · #24 12-07-2011, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

...uhh, doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of waiting? Heavy petting, oral sex, and even anal sex* ARE SEX. Just because they don't make the babeez doesn't reduce their significance as sex acts. It's still an extremely intimate act with another person.

She didn't mention any of that which is why I asked. She could be talking about something different.

KSUViolet06 · #25 12-07-2011, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

*I knew people who took those G-d awful chastity pledges and still had anal sex. Unprotected, of course, because only slutty sluts bring condoms and therefore PLAN to have sex.

There was a girl on 16 & Pregnant who signed one of those, then well, ended up on 16 & Pregnant. So you can see how effective they are in preventing what people say such contracts are designed to prevent. FAIL.

/abstinence only sex ed soapbox.

Cen1aur 1963 · #26 12-07-2011, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl

SPEAK. The advice I give to my young ones (at church) is to stop at the point where they feel they are compromising themselves and their values.

See, this is what I don't like. Why start if there isn't going to be none? I hate that shit.

christiangirl · #27 12-07-2011, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cen1aur 1963

See, this is what I don't like. Why start if there isn't going to be none? I hate that shit.

You're still here?

Let me clarify--I tell them to decide where the line is ahead of time. Not be hot and heavy with someone THEN say "Oh no, I want to stop here. This is where I'm uncomfortable." Of course these young girls (and boys, too) have the right to call stop time WHENEVER they are uncomfortable. But it's important to have a line and communicate where it is before even getting started.

Munchkin--Is there a reason why you think chastity pledges are "God-awful?" Because that's a pretty strong word for something that is actually a nice sentiment (if you're serious about it, which the people you knew CLEARLY weren't). The pledge should be an affirmation of what one has already decided because your signature on the card alone will do precisely jack if you hadn't thought about it before someone handed the card to you.

KSUViolet06 · #28 12-07-2011, 07:54 PM

Here's my beef with purity pledges, besides the fact that they're usually implemented by a school system in place of effective sex ed and are full of fail (mind you, this is from a perspective of someone who believes in God.)

It attaches unnecessary shame to the act. As if you're not good in God's eyes because you're not "pure." Cue depression.

It encourages that "loophole" behavior (ex: my pledge is still all good even though I went down on Bobby yesterday behind the bleachers. YAY)

I find intimacy to be a personal matter. As such, I generally feel like it's not the rest of the world's business what someone is doing or not doing in the bedroom. So why "pledge" it in front of your school or your parents or your church? It's none of their business. It's yours and God's (if you believe in Him.)

Kids are kids and then there's the whole aspect of "did you hear that Suzy broke her purity pledge last week?! Ew. What a slut." I just find it unneccesary. Kids have enough crap to be worried about being judged over.

.

cheerfulgreek · #29 12-07-2011, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cen1aur 1963

I'm not trying to get all in your business, but would you be cool with anal?

Ewwww! NO!! I think that's disgusting. To each its own, but I wouldn't do that with my husband when I marry. And I never said anything about oral, anal, or whatever. Yes, I was referring to something different, but that isn't any of your business.

thetaj · #30 12-07-2011, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

It seems like Christians are the craziest about this. I know plenty of Muslims and Orthodox Jews who didn't have sex before they were married...at all. There was kissing, but none of this "everything but, including up the butt" nonsense that Christians seem to come up with. There's this really weird shame about adult human sexuality. I don't think you'd just automatically shed it after marriage, either.

I don't know, I feel like you're lumping together the extreme situations you've heard about and that you probably just haven't heard about the normal, healthy behaviors lots of Christian young adults have. Like I said before, I grew up southern baptist and NEVER had friends who were "everything but, including up the butt." I seriously can't name one person, and I went to a very large church. If anyone was, they would be true pioneers in the field as far as I know anyways.

(sigh) I'm just tired of people getting shit for their traditionally Judeo-Christian beliefs. EVERYONE is a hypocrite. EVERYONE. But these Christian teens get it thrown in their faces and it's not helping anyone.