The Golden Rule

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by shirley1929

5) Can we refrain from bashing people who decide to withdraw?

No.

We very rarely bash women who get invites they are lukewarm about, GO TO PREFS, and decide not to sign a card. The vast majority don't like their pref invites, and don't go to prefs. They are angry that they didn't get a fair chance with the "top" groups, but won't even give a "lower" group a fair chance.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by shirley1929

Thanks! I seriously don't want to be flamed, I just want people to be nice to others. It's just a reminder to everyone, that's all. It's not about me, but rather the people who come here looking for advice at a potentially fragile time in their lives.

AzTheta - I'm sitting on the couch with you and just popped open a beer.

Who appointed you to chair the committee to remind grown adults to be nice?

I"m not positive, but have you ever revealed your school and affiliation? If you're going to allude that how individuals act online is unbecoming to their GLOs (no apostrophe by the way), you may want to let us know which one you're in first.

You may have less than 90 posts, but if you don't care for how people behave here, you can leave or ignore those posters. If it is a problem the moderators will handle it, we don't need you to have to come down from your ivory tower where the air is 100% smug and expose yourself to our lowly snark.

[summer_gphib]

Sitting on the couch with my slushy waiting for the imminent explosion.

[KSUViolet06]

If you can show me where people have been "cyber bullied" or "bashed" for their choices, I'll eat my hat.

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

No.

We very rarely bash women who get invites they are lukewarm about, GO TO PREFS, and decide not to sign a card. The vast majority don't like their pref invites, and don't go to prefs. They are angry that they didn't get a fair chance with the "top" groups, but won't even give a "lower" group a fair chance.

Like I said, I totally agree with being upset at the ones who withdraw because they're "too good" for certain houses. I said that and I agree.

The ones I'm talking about (and maybe it's the rare ones I bolded you for) are usually someone who comes back as a Sophomore and says "well, recruitment didn't work out for me last year, I went to one pref party and decided to withdraw..." and the group jumps on them to say "Well, you missed your one shot at greek life, you really screwed up." Sure, if it's Bama, it might have been. Or it might not have, but the girl is asking for tips on THIS year, not LAST year, move on from last year.

And maybe I'm misreading. Seriously, could be. But to bash after the fact seems pointless and dogpile-ish to me. Again, I'm sure I belong in rainbow-poopy-land.

[als463]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

If you can show me where people have been "cyber bullied" or "bashed" for their choices, I'll eat my hat.

KSUViolet-STOP IT! YOU ARE BULLYING!

For real, I think the OP's problem is that she doesn't want to say what GLO she belongs to or what school she attended but, she thinks we should all refrain from telling 18-year-old ADULTS that they should act like (wait for it) ADULTS! AOII Angel, it's because of you that the "wait for it" will never get old. You had me laughing with that one. Thanks.

If someone is going to come on here and give advice or try to tell people how they should and shouldn't act, they should be willing to let us know a little bit about themselves. Otherwise, they come off as "sock-puppet" material.

[violetpretty]

Is it dogpiling if you're the first one to snark?

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by als463

KSUViolet-STOP IT! YOU ARE BULLYING!

For real, I think the OP's problem is that she doesn't want to say what GLO she belongs to or what school she attended but, she thinks we should all refrain from telling 18-year-old ADULTS that they should act like (wait for it) ADULTS! AOII Angel, it's because of you that the "wait for it" will never get old. You had me laughing with that one. Thanks.

If someone is going to come on here and give advice or try to tell people how they should and shouldn't act, they should be willing to let us know a little bit about themselves. Otherwise, they come off as "sock-puppet" material.

If you want to dig through my posts, I have actually out-ed my school on more than one occasion. I choose not to out my GLO only because I've recently had relatives going through recruitment and would like to not leave a giant internet footprint like we've mentioned here on this site before.

I just know what it's like to be 18 and feeling like you're being ganged up on for something you've said. Cyber-bullying is real and much of it is in the perception of the receiver. I'm just asking everyone to think before they say something that might be construed as bashing to a young adult. If that makes me a horrible person, please let me know. I think this site is a wonderful resource and just would like to see it a little more welcoming to noobs. That's all.

[als463]

Originally Posted by shirley1929

If you want to dig through my posts, I have actually out-ed my school on more than one occasion. I choose not to out my GLO only because I've recently had relatives going through recruitment and would like to not leave a giant internet footprint like we've mentioned here on this site before.

I just know what it's like to be 18 and feeling like you're being ganged up on for something you've said. Cyber-bullying is real and much of it is in the perception of the receiver. I'm just asking everyone to think before they say something that might be construed as bashing to a young adult. If that makes me a horrible person, please let me know. I think this site is a wonderful resource and just would like to see it a little more welcoming to noobs. That's all.

No. What makes you a horrible person is coming on to a website and telling everyone how they should feel and act. You actually started a thread to chastise people for not acting the way you deem appropriate.

You commented about if it was something from last year, move on. What great advice. If Patty PNM acts like a fool throughout recruitment and gives the impression that she is "better" than other organizations or she acts less lady-like than most...Chapters may have a very hard time just "moving on" and forgetting about it. So, you may think people are harping on the past but, guess what---some of the chapters may be.

Also, if Patty PNM is a sophmore at Bama (or another SEC school) and turned down one of the ONLY chances she could have had to go Greek....Next year, when she's a junior, it may be hard for chapters to "move on" past the fact that she is now a junior. So, maybe you shouldn't just hand out advice like that.

[lovespink88]

Originally Posted by aopirose

Actually, I like the recruitment thread QFPs. It condenses the story into two or three posts rather than 20 pages of “Go Orange Julius!”

"That place isn't even around anymore!"

/Jim Gaffigan

[ASTalumna06]

Can we seriously stop with all this talk of cyber-bullying? Its ridiculous.

The only thing that we do on here is tell the truth. Unfortunately, a lot of people can't handle it. If someone says to a PNM, "You just turned your back on 3 chapters at Auburn that truly wanted you, and in turn, PROBABLY blew any chance you had at being Greek," and the PNM can't deal with that, then oh well. That's life.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

No.

We very rarely bash women who get invites they are lukewarm about, GO TO PREFS, and decide not to sign a card. The vast majority don't like their pref invites, and don't go to prefs. They are angry that they didn't get a fair chance with the "top" groups, but won't even give a "lower" group a fair chance.

Right, if the PNM goes all the way through, doesn't sign a MRABA, or even suicides and doesn't match, and decides that she will get involved in other things, she usually is not jumped on. It's the ones in the same situation who complain how they "want so badly to be Greek" when they had their chance at one or more chapters.

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by als463

You commented about if it was something from last year, move on. What great advice. If Patty PNM acts like a fool throughout recruitment and gives the impression that she is "better" than other organizations or she acts less lady-like than most...Chapters may have a very hard time just "moving on" and forgetting about it. So, you may think people are harping on the past but, guess what---some of the chapters may be.

Also, if Patty PNM is a sophmore at Bama (or another SEC school) and turned down one of the ONLY chances she could have had to go Greek....Next year, when she's a junior, it may be hard for chapters to "move on" past the fact that she is now a junior. So, maybe you shouldn't just hand out advice like that.

I get what you're saying, but you misunderstood me a little. I meant that she went through as a freshman, is now a sophomore. I'm not dispensing out advice so much as dwelling on the fact that she dropped out last year. Can't change it, so let's give advice on what we can do now moving forward.

I get you disagree with me on this whole concept, and that's fine. I'm not demanding anyone do anything except maybe think twice and be more polite. That's all. Sorry you think I'm a bad person.

[aopirose]

Originally Posted by lovespink88

"That place isn't even around anymore!"

/Jim Gaffigan

I thought so too, but apparently not. www.orangejulius.com

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by aopirose

I thought so too, but apparently not. www.orangejulius.com

I just had one in Edmonton :-)