Why are so many people in their 20s taking so long to grow up?

[littleowl33]

I don't think my parents would have a problem with me moving back home - I've never discussed it with them - but I wouldn't want to. I've rented my own apartments since the end of my sophomore year of college and I've really only gone home for brief visits since then. Where my parents live doesn't really feel like "home" anymore, and I think my parents would be somewhat disappointed in me if I did come back. I might be singing a different tune if I couldn't financially support myself, but moving home would be a last resort for me.

I'm very fortunate to have found a job that enables me to live on my own and I have some great support - my boyfriend's parents are helping him a LOT with his living expenses since he's in law school full-time, and since we live together I indirectly benefit from that. As an aside, I found it really interesting, from a cultural perspective, the way his family handled his independence after college. My WASP-y parents made it pretty clear that I shouldn't expect any more financial support from them after college graduation, even if I went on to get another degree and did not have income, unless it was dire - I needed to be independent and manage my money well. My boyfriend's parents (who immigrated to the US before he was born and are a different race and culture than mine), on the other hand, would have been thrilled to have him move back home and though he didn't, they give him a great deal of support since he has no income as a student. I think it really highlighted the difference between the traditional American emphasis on being independent and his culture's attitude about familial support. They're supporting him now, and he holds up his end of the bargain by making stellar grades and building a future with a prestigious career. In turn, he will be expected to help his parents when they are older, even if it means bringing them to live with him, paying their expenses and providing constant care. On the flip side, just as my parents expect independence from me, I expect it from them to a certain extent. I'm certainly not saying I won't help them when I'm older, but the level of personal care and support exhibited by *most* WASP-y adults for their older parents is nowhere near as extensive as that of adults in some other cultures, like his. I'm not saying one style is better or worse than the other. They're just different.

[BabyPiNK_FL]

I'm living at home. A lot of my friends who live with roommates, alone etc don't have two pennies to rub together or a pot to piss in. If I were to move out, I'd have even less. The job situation isn't working out for me and I never really moved out unless you count the dorms for a year at my commuter school. If I could manage comfortably as was apparently common in the past I'd love to, but it is simply not an option. I never even thought about moving out until marriage anyways (most of my mom's siblings [they are not from the U.S.] are unmarried and still live at home and to me that is a traditional thing to do). Now that most people around me aren't gainfully employed, marriage too is becoming even less likely option. As long as I'm in school and doing something towards a career goal my parents are happy to help and I am happy to try for a better option for the future. Master's classes start next week.

[sceniczip]

^^^I think it differs by family. My family is definitely very American but they fully support me and said they will continue to help unless they are no longer able to. I work for spending money and try not to ask for extra money. They pay everything, though I don't have any school bills because of scholarships. I even get a kick back each semester I would have no problems with them moving in with me when they're older and needed care. I'm super close with my parents and still go home a lot. When I don't have to be on campus I typically pack up the cat and head home for a week or weekend or month until I need to be back near campus. I'm also an only child, still go home all the time for dinner when at the barn, and call them about 8 times a day (whenever I hear something interesting or need advice when the washing machine is screaming at me ) I may even move home for student teaching depending on where I get placed.

ETA: I'm not saying one way is right and one is wrong. BF has been raised exactly opposite how I have been but I think both of us have turned out to be strong people. We both have good leadership positions in our chapter and both do well in school. Only time will tell if we are both successful, of course but I think there is more than one way to get at the same results

[christiangirl]

I was reading this article thinking "Yeeeeaaaah that's me."

I haven't hit any of the milestones of adulthood except moving out and that's only been for a month. It wasn't really by choice, either. Honestly, I could be saving money living there instead of here, but what I saved monetarily, I'd pay in sanity.

I'm not yet complete with school, nowhere near having my own family, and I have a job albeit not very unsteady. But I'm never going back to that house and no longer call it home. That is a step forward and one that I really wanted to take but didn't feel stable enough to take it till, one day, I just had to. However, I have always wanted to take full responsibility as an adult. My parents have alway paid for everything and didn't want me to work in college. But I couldn't live like that, just always taking from them. I got a job and started paying my own expenses against their wishes (how backwards is that?). After graduation, I got rid of the credit card they gave me and got one in my own name (and use it responsibly so that I'm not in debt). I take care of my own car and am in the process of moving the title into my name. I pay all my own bills and am getting off my parents' cell phone plan and onto my own. They'll always be there to help, but I'll be 25 this month. So maybe I'm not as stable as I could be, but I have to take care of myself; it's part of feeling strong and secure in who I am. I can't have my own identity when half my life is in my parents' pockets.

[KSUViolet06]

I was kind of a late mover-outer.

Most people I know lived in their first apartments junior/senior year of college. I lived in the dorms/sorority house in college.

I didn't move into my own apt. until grad school (about 3 years ago).

My parents have always said that if I fell on hard times, I can come home until I get back on my feet (not forever obviously), but I would try really hard not to do that.

I love living on my own and being self-sufficient. I do enjoy my free cell phone and cable though (thanks Dad!). lol.

[When Doves Cry]

The scientists found the children’s brains were not fully mature until at least 25. “In retrospect I wouldn’t call it shocking, but it was at the time,” Jay Giedd, the director of the study, told me. “The only people who got this right were the car-rental companies.”

This made me chuckle

[agzg]

LOL me too!

[KSUViolet06]

I LOLed. Then I shuddered at the fact that some states will give 17-year-olds marriage licenses. They didn't get the memo. lol.

[lelo100]

I'm 28 and moved back home about 8 months ago after splitting with my live in boyfriend. I have a good job and can afford to move out of home but it is such a big step for me. When I think about it I get anxious and its such a big thing for me to do my own. Also I will have to move in with strangers as I couldn't afford a place on my own and my friends are all settled at this stage. My home house is about 10 minutes from work and if I move to the nearest town I'll be 30 minutes away. This is one of my big excuses for not moving out. I feel so scared. But in other ways I feel I need to move out for my sanity and my independence. I just need to give myself a big pust I think. Its prob just hard cause last time I left home it was to move in with my ex. Has anyone else had an experience like this? Any advice anyone can give me I'd really appreciate,
Thank u