Want to be married by the age of 30? - Page 2

jennyj87 · #16 05-26-2010, 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aephi alum

It's your life. Do what's right for YOU.

I have to tell myself that everyday since I'm never graduating college. But this brings up an interesting discussion.
Out of all my friends in high school versus college, it seems my greek life friends are getting married a lot sooner than my nongreek life friends.

True/false?

But other factors are there too. I'm now in the "south" so apparently you guys get married younger down here? Which I have noticed a lot more people in my classes getting married than ones up north who I went to HS with.

baci · #17 05-26-2010, 09:16 AM

If the OP is going to link a dating website that is one thing, but if not I see nothing wrong with the question.

I have been through this time period and I can share what I feel.

Yes, it is your life and you do have to do what is right for you! You should not feel pressure to marry because everyone you know is marrying. I also think it is perfectly fine to want to marry at this point and I see nothing wrong with it.

I was one of those people single and 30. Then, 30 passed me by. I did want to get married, but it was not time for me and I had not met the right person. Would I have wanted to marry by then? Absolutely! It was just not something I could control myself.

There are many benefits to marrying younger and beginning a family if you are committed to the one you are with. It also wouldn't hurt if you have your life in order for this to run a tiny bit smoother as well. It will never be perfect, but there are things to hopefully accomplish and have in order before you walk down the aisle.

It would be silly to think how it would be for me to have married younger and have had all of my children younger, but I am wise enough to know some of it would definitely be easier than it is now. There are some pluses just as there are tougher spots. Isn't that with everything in life?

Try not to stress as it happens when it will happen. You will be fine.

DaemonSeid · #18 05-26-2010, 09:54 AM

Logan's Run anyone?

AnotherKD · #19 05-26-2010, 10:59 AM

You know, one of my best friends is going through this. She'll turn 30 in just over a year and would like to be married when she's "30-ish". That being said, she has her expectations set a bit high. I love her and she was the maid of honor at my wedding, but she says she hasn't had a boyfriend in 6 years (we're including anyone she's been out with more than once- in 6 YEARS!) because she can't find what she's looking for.

She's overweight and average-looking, but I think she is a fantastic person to be around. She refuses to go online for a date and she just complains that she can't meet anyone that fulfills her qualifications of being "tall, built, a gorgeous face, and smart with a good job". I mean, she will summarily dismiss someone she sees, saying things like "No, I don't want to go and say hi, his nose looks a little crooked" or "He's drinking dark beer, ew!" I'm trying to figure out a way to tactfully say that she should lower her expectations a bit.....

DrPhil · #20 05-26-2010, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

She's overweight and average-looking

Hahah...sorry....

AnotherKD · #21 05-26-2010, 11:31 AM

Just trying to be honest. I've known her for years and I love her for who she is, looking past the psoriasis on her face and what she has acknowledged to be her extra 75 pounds. I'd love to help her, but she won't go out with anyone I set her up with and just complains about not being able to find anyone. I think she just doesn't try. She's hilarious and a lot of fun to be around.

ree-Xi · #22 05-26-2010, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baci

If the OP is going to link a dating website that is one thing, but if not I see nothing wrong with the question.

Quote:

Originally Posted by desea318

This is a funny but interesting forum to read... I am not in the 26-29 range but I do want to be married by the time I am 30. I have many brothers and sisters who are in the range who are not married or dating anyone but there are a few who are married. I personally want to be married by 30 because I want to settle and have a serious life. I think it is impossible to have a serious relationship as an undergrad and if it happens I will be so happy! but until then my goal is to hopefully meet someone between now and finishing my master's degree and get married before i turn 30. =]

Signs that the OP may have ulterior motives:

1. New poster.
2. First post. Asks off-topic question.
3. No expressed connection to Greek Life.
4. Another new user posts (same registration day) their first post ever, answering the question. Only reference to the purpose/topic of the site is a general "this a funny but interesting forum".
5. The question sounds like so many marketing/surverys/research requests we have had before.

If they are for real, then I was wrong. No big deal.

Drolefille · #23 05-26-2010, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Signs that the OP may have ulterior motives:

1. New poster.
2. First post. Asks off-topic question.
3. No expressed connection to Greek Life.
4. Another new user posts (same registration day) their first post ever, answering the question. Only reference to the purpose/topic of the site is a general "this a funny but interesting forum".
5. The question sounds like so many marketing/surverys/research requests we have had before.

If they are for real, then I was wrong. No big deal.

6. OP doesn't come back.

DaemonSeid · #24 05-26-2010, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

She's overweight and average-looking, but I think she is a fantastic person to be around. She refuses to go online for a date and she just complains that she can't meet anyone that fulfills her qualifications of being "tall, built, a gorgeous face, and smart with a good job". I mean, she will summarily dismiss someone she sees, saying things like "No, I don't want to go and say hi, his nose looks a little crooked" or "He's drinking dark beer, ew!" I'm trying to figure out a way to tactfully say that she should lower her expectations a bit.....

Hand her a mirror...

And then you reminded me of this...

BluPhire · #25 05-26-2010, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Hand her a mirror...

And then you reminded me of this...

You beat me to it.

She has high expectations for somebody who isn't so high on the expectation ladder herself.

33girl · #26 05-26-2010, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

Just trying to be honest. I've known her for years and I love her for who she is, looking past the psoriasis on her face and what she has acknowledged to be her extra 75 pounds. I'd love to help her, but she won't go out with anyone I set her up with and just complains about not being able to find anyone. I think she just doesn't try. She's hilarious and a lot of fun to be around.

Or else she's been so hurt in the past that it's easier to shoot them down before they do it to her. Her "hilariousness" is just covering that up.

Try helping her with the things that CAN be fixed - like finding a good dermatologist and going to the gym or on a diet with her - instead of just throwing weiners at the problem. She has to love herself before she can love anyone else. Any boyfriend she'd get at this point in her life would probably be a mental abuser who preyed on her self-doubt.

Drolefille · #27 05-26-2010, 12:41 PM

I will now giggle about throwing weiners at the problem.

honeychile · #28 05-26-2010, 01:04 PM

I know so many women who turned 29 and absolutely freaked out because they weren't married. Almost every one of them who married the next warm body who came along is now divorced.

I blame the whole biological clock bit. I was only 21 the first time I heard, "Better get going - there's only so many years you have for children!" I don't think I even knew anyone at 21 with whom I would want to spend the rest of my life!

honeychile · #29 05-26-2010, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Any boyfriend she'd get at this point in her life would probably be a mental abuser who preyed on her self-doubt.

Which is why so many of my 29 year old friends divorced!

AGDee · #30 05-26-2010, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

You know, one of my best friends is going through this. She'll turn 30 in just over a year and would like to be married when she's "30-ish". That being said, she has her expectations set a bit high. I love her and she was the maid of honor at my wedding, but she says she hasn't had a boyfriend in 6 years (we're including anyone she's been out with more than once- in 6 YEARS!) because she can't find what she's looking for.

She's overweight and average-looking, but I think she is a fantastic person to be around. She refuses to go online for a date and she just complains that she can't meet anyone that fulfills her qualifications of being "tall, built, a gorgeous face, and smart with a good job". I mean, she will summarily dismiss someone she sees, saying things like "No, I don't want to go and say hi, his nose looks a little crooked" or "He's drinking dark beer, ew!" I'm trying to figure out a way to tactfully say that she should lower her expectations a bit.....

My friend who was like that finally came out of the closet after over a decade of finding some picayune thing wrong with every man who was interested in her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Or else she's been so hurt in the past that it's easier to shoot them down before they do it to her. Her "hilariousness" is just covering that up.

Try helping her with the things that CAN be fixed - like finding a good dermatologist and going to the gym or on a diet with her - instead of just throwing weiners at the problem. She has to love herself before she can love anyone else. Any boyfriend she'd get at this point in her life would probably be a mental abuser who preyed on her self-doubt.

Agree with this too.