Rushing as a Junior - Page 2

violetpretty · #16 04-16-2010, 07:57 PM

What has changed? Is your financial situation better? Did the circumstances surrounding your "personal reasons" improve? You need to evaluate what is different this time.

I don't want to make assumptions, but when someone is vague as you were about their reasons for depledging, my first thought is, "I wasn't connecting with anyone and I didn't feel like it was worth my dues." Is that the case?

abcd89 · #17 04-17-2010, 10:21 AM

yeah, i suppose that is exactly the reason. I didn't feel like i fit in with the group of girls, so i didn't want to pay thousands of dollars to be in an organization that I thought wasn't for me. Actually, I didn't want my parents to have to pay for it, if I decide to go through rush again and pledge a sorority I told my parents that I would pay for myself. I think thats one of the main reasons why i decided not to do it this year-I didn't want my parents to pay for something they knew I didn't completely love.
I know going into rush as a junior will put me at a disadvantage, but i met a few juniors last year during rush that did get into houses. And honestly I have an open mind going into it. There is not a particular house that i'm looking at, they are all different and all respectable in their own ways. I just want to give it another chance because I don't want to regret not doing it. I'll get recs, stay involved, keep my grades up, dress classy, stay optimistic and hope that one sorority will realize that i will make a great sister.

violetpretty · #18 04-17-2010, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abcd89

yeah, i suppose that is exactly the reason. I didn't feel like i fit in with the group of girls, so i didn't want to pay thousands of dollars to be in an organization that I thought wasn't for me. Actually, I didn't want my parents to have to pay for it, if I decide to go through rush again and pledge a sorority I told my parents that I would pay for myself. I think thats one of the main reasons why i decided not to do it this year-I didn't want my parents to pay for something they knew I didn't completely love.
I know going into rush as a junior will put me at a disadvantage, but i met a few juniors last year during rush that did get into houses. And honestly I have an open mind going into it. There is not a particular house that i'm looking at, they are all different and all respectable in their own ways. I just want to give it another chance because I don't want to regret not doing it. I'll get recs, stay involved, keep my grades up, dress classy, stay optimistic and hope that one sorority will realize that i will make a great sister.

Tell us about your new member period before you depledged. How long did you stick it out until you depledged? How often did you go to events? How often did you hang out with your pledge class? How often did you hang out with older sisters? How often did you go to the house just to go? Were you putting in the effort to make connections?

abcd89 · #19 04-17-2010, 11:10 AM

I was pledging for about two weeks. I went to lunches and dinner at the house, and the new member meetings. There was only one event during that period and i was unable to attend it. I know I was making an effort to get to know the girls, but in the end I just wasn't clicking with anyone, and it felt like a chore to go to the house. I don't regret my decision of dropping the house, I have found other things to be involved in but in the back of my mind I always think about being in a sorority.
I guess I should admit that I think I made a wrong decision during the prefs round. I think i would have been happier in one of the others but i ranked them on the reputations i had heard. I know that was a huge mistake on my part.

als463 · #20 04-17-2010, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abcd89

I was pledging for about two weeks. I went to lunches and dinner at the house, and the new member meetings. There was only one event during that period and i was unable to attend it. I know I was making an effort to get to know the girls, but in the end I just wasn't clicking with anyone, and it felt like a chore to go to the house. I don't regret my decision of dropping the house, I have found other things to be involved in but in the back of my mind I always think about being in a sorority.
I guess I should admit that I think I made a wrong decision during the prefs round. I think i would have been happier in one of the others but i ranked them on the reputations i had heard. I know that was a huge mistake on my part.

Giving an organization 2 weeks is hardly "making an effort" like you say. It almost sounds like you decided to depledge, not because you didn't feel a "connection" with these women but, because you thought you may have been "too good" for these women.

Every NPC at Florida is incredible and if you check out each chapter's website, you will see that they all strive for the same thing-SISTERHOOD. I don't feel bad for your decision making and I don't think someone who believes she is "above" certain chapters really deserves a second chance at an SEC school when she is a Junior. Normally I would say "good luck" and that I hope you find a home at any of the incredible chapters at Florida. This time-not so much.

33girl · #21 04-17-2010, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by als463

Giving an organization 2 weeks is hardly "making an effort" like you say. It almost sounds like you decided to depledge, not because you didn't feel a "connection" with these women but, because you thought you may have been "too good" for these women.

Every NPC at Florida is incredible and if you check out each chapter's website, you will see that they all strive for the same thing-SISTERHOOD. I don't feel bad for your decision making and I don't think someone who believes she is "above" certain chapters really deserves a second chance at an SEC school when she is a Junior. Normally I would say "good luck" and that I hope you find a home at any of the incredible chapters at Florida. This time-not so much.

She admitted she effed up. That's more than a lot of people do on here. Ease up a bit

. The way I read it, she DID pledge an "upper tier" house but was unhappy and wished she would have overlooked the tent talk and joined the lower tier house.

abcd89, if that is the case, and you do rush again, be aware that some of the women in the chapter you didn't rank as highly as you should won't exactly be sympathetic. We had a similar situation with a girl we loved who totally shafted us for the "top" chapter, and when we heard years later that she was unhappy, the general attitude was "oh, boo hoo for her" (heavy on the sarcasm).

You screwed up, you admitted it, now move on.

abcd89 · #22 04-17-2010, 05:46 PM

i did not think i was above the girls in the chapter. i know several girls in the house and they are all amazing, but for me personally i didn't think it was the right fit.
i only posted on here to get advice for going through rush again, not to have everyone point the finger at me. yes, maybe i did make a huge mistake last year of not giving it more time. yes, i know alot of houses may not want me. but i'll never find out for sure if i dont give it another chance. Luckily i'm still optimistic, i know the odds are completely against me but im looking forward to rushing again. have a nice day everyone! =)

AGDee · #23 04-17-2010, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abcd89

i did not think i was above the girls in the chapter. i know several girls in the house and they are all amazing, but for me personally i didn't think it was the right fit.
i only posted on here to get advice for going through rush again, not to have everyone point the finger at me. yes, maybe i did make a huge mistake last year of not giving it more time. yes, i know alot of houses may not want me. but i'll never find out for sure if i dont give it another chance. Luckily i'm still optimistic, i know the odds are completely against me but im looking forward to rushing again. have a nice day everyone! =)

Your reasons for dropping DO affect your chances next fall. It would be one thing to drop for "personal reasons" such as health, a death in your immediate family, etc. In fact, in those kinds of situations, it wouldn't be unheard of to re-pledge in the same chapter. Chapters do communicate with each other and new members who drop do get talked about among chapters. I don't think anybody is calling you out to be mean. They are trying to give you a realistic portrayal. You will need to be ready to answer the question "Why did you drop XYZ just two weeks into your new member period?" if you go through recruitment again.

I realize you're not hearing the answer you want to hear from us, but we're being realistic with you. While getting a bid isn't impossible, it's still pretty unlikely given the circumstances.

abcd89 · #24 04-18-2010, 12:30 AM

thanks everyone for posting on here! i have plenty of time before rush, so i have time to analyze what i want to do with the rest of my time in college. Even with such a large greek presence on campus, the sororities really talk about that one girl that dropped their house? but actually i know several girls that have dropped different houses, are we written in a book somewhere to never offer us a bid?

KSUViolet06 · #25 04-18-2010, 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abcd89

thanks everyone for posting on here! i have plenty of time before rush, so i have time to analyze what i want to do with the rest of my time in college. Even with such a large greek presence on campus, the sororities really talk about that one girl that dropped their house? but actually i know several girls that have dropped different houses, are we written in a book somewhere to never offer us a bid?

Sorority members do remember girls who get bids (even when it is not to their own chapter).

I don't know anyone's chapter policies (if they make it a point to not offer a bid to previously pledged woman or not), but the other sororities could potentially think "well she got a bid and dropped last time, what if WE bid her and she does the same to us?"

I don't claim to know what any chapter is going to do (each chapter is different), but this is something to think about. You're up against freshmen with NO history with the Greek system and chapters DO have to make cuts. It's possible that a chapter could assume you'd do the same to them and drop you.

Honestly though, what's done is done and you can't change it. Just prepare and present yourself the best you can.

33girl · #26 04-18-2010, 01:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Sorority members do remember girls who get bids (even when it is not to their own chapter).

Difference is, she didn't just get a bid and turn it down. She was in the middle of pledging.

KSUViolet06 · #27 04-18-2010, 03:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Difference is, she didn't just get a bid and turn it down. She was in the middle of pledging.

I know. I was just making the point that girls in chapters know in most cases who got a bid from where. So when they see her in recruitment, it is very possible that a girl might be like "didn't she pledge _____ last year? What happened?"

Not to mention the fact that members of one chapter DO TALK to women in other chapters about goings-on.

abcd89 · #28 04-18-2010, 09:14 AM

thanks KSUviolet, i had put it in my past and had moved on. theres nothing i can do to change my past, i was just hoping to turn over a new leaf and join a sorority and add something extra to my college experience.

APhiAnna · #29 04-18-2010, 01:29 PM

Honestly? I really resonate with your philosophy that you don't want to regret not going through rush. Yes, given your background story and school year it will be extremely difficult, but I say go for it. If you can handle the rejection and know that it is because you are a junior, see how it pans out. You will be released from the majority (if not all) sororities, but you are completely right...you don't want to sit around for the rest of your life and wonder "what if". Just know what you are up against, but definitely go for it.

ComradesTrue · #30 04-18-2010, 01:54 PM

OP- You have been given some honest- though maybe hard to hear- feedback here. While there is definite truth to what everyone has told you, I have to admit that I fall a little bit on the side with Anna. Whether it is how well your posts are written (compared to the garbade that we regularly get), your apparant ability to self-evaluate and recognize past mistakes, or just what seems to be a true desire to be a part of Greek Life, I for one would not cast you away too fast.

That being said, your ability to articulate your thoughts as well as your ability to honestly look at yourself and admit when you were wrong is what makes me sympathize with you a little bit and truly would want to make me learn more about you. At first I had little interest in your story, as we have seen/heard others just like it a thousand times. However, you seem slightly different. That is what intriqued me.

Recognize that the chapters will have also seen/heard similar stories (freshman/sophomore dropping out without giving a chapter a true chance, since 2 weeks doesn't come near counting as a chance...), but if somehow you can impress upon them that you truly regret the decision, continue to own up to your own mistake, and give concrete ways that you really want to be involved in a chapter, then MAYBE that too will catch someone's ear and they will want to invite you back to hear more.

Key word here, maybe.

I like your attitude, your honesty, and your ability to come back here and take your lumps. KSU always asks "what has changed?" since the last time one rushed, and maybe for you it is maturity. You certainly are much more mature than the typical poster who just wants us to tell them what they want to hear.

Best of luck to you. Please come back and let us know how things work out for you.