How did you tell your parents?

[ladygreek]

Libra I think your situation is different from the OP's. Your Mom wasn't vested in another D9 sorority. The OP's Mom is. Your Mom could still join you.

The OP's sister knew the Mom would be hurt.

The OP's sister involved the Dad.

[dreamseeker]

anyone getting the feeling that discretion applies not only to the aspirant but also those around them, or is it just me? sheesh.

[CDancer20]

My sister confirmed that it's just a personal call to the probate show. I am sure that they have no knowledge that my mom is from a different sorority.

Originally Posted by ladygreek

The parents can still claim them while they are in college if they are paying any of the tuition or expenses--or at least they could. I know I did, but tax laws have changed. The parent also then gets the bills.

You can still be claimed as a dependent until the age of 24 if you are in college. Actually when you try to apply for federal loans (ie fafsa), you must use your parents tax information until you are either 24, married, or have a child.

Originally Posted by dreamseeker

anyone getting the feeling that discretion applies not only to the aspirant but also those around them, or is it just me? sheesh.

I apologize if you feel that I came off with too much information, but I have to disagree with you for 3 reasons.

1-I did not reveal what sorority my mom is in nor which one my sister is trying to join. Nor did I say either was a D9, so that could be dozens of different possibilites.
2-It is not uncommon for a student who is not working, but only a full-time student, to ask his/her parents for the money and/or take out a student loan to pay for the process.
3-My sister isn't the first, second, or last person that will not join her mother (or his father)'s sorority/fraternity.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by CDancer20

I apologize if you feel that I came off with too much information, but I have to disagree with you for 3 reasons.

1-I did not reveal what sorority my mom is in nor which one my sister is trying to join. Nor did I say either was a D9, so that could be dozens of different possibilites.

I beg to differ. You referenced the NPHC sororities which are part of the D9.

2-It is not uncommon for a student who is not working, but only a full-time student, to ask his/her parents for the money and/or take out a student loan to pay for the process.

By talking about this you introduced your Dad into it telling us he and your mother were no longer married. We didn't have to know that. And I bet your Mom wouldn't appreciate her business being told to complete strangers.

3-My sister isn't the first, second, or last person that will not join her mother (or his father)'s sorority/fraternity.

That was never the issue. The issue was the mother not being told in advance.

A bit of advice: quit before you dig your hole deeper.

[CDancer20]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

I beg to differ. You referenced the NPHC sororities which are part of the D9.


By talking about this you introduced your Dad into it telling us he and your mother were no longer married. We didn't have to know that. And I bet your Mom wouldn't appreciate her business being told to complete strangers.


That was never the issue. The issue was the mother not being told in advance.

A bit of advice: quit before you dig your hole deeper.

Ok I did say that my sister was looking 1 of the 4 sororities (D9) but not that my mom was in a D9. Note that I am not the OP of this message. And my parents have been divorced for over 15 years lol. It's not that big of a secret or a big deal anymore. The reason I mentioned them being divorced was as a way of saying that its not like she purposely went home and pulled my dad aside to ask for the money behind my mom's back. She didn't plan to tell my dad either until she realized she needed the money. My sister won't be the first person either to not tell her parents upfront that she was going thru MIP of a greek org.

I am not the person going through the process. The reason I am still talking because I wanted to point out that I felt differently about previous posts that I am oversharing. I have never heard of "the call" either, but I am only going by what I was told was going to happen. Obviously different sororities and/or different chapters do things differently. I would understand your concern if I was like "yea my sister is going through MIP for Xi Chi Beta and we live in missouri and she goes to the University of Missouri."(for example). Everything that I have listed here have been basic questions that any person could go through. People get divorced ALL THE TIME. Students go to one parent over the other when they need money. Plus I am sure that not ALL students run home to tell their parents the minute they get the phone call that they were selected to go through MIP for the sorority/fraternity. Nothing new there guys.

And the original question: How do you tell your mom you are joining a different sorority before she finds out through an outside source?

[dreamseeker]

[DrPhil]

The "sister," eh? Sure.

Siblings usually shut up by now. The aspirants themselves usually don't.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

The "sister," eh? Sure.

Siblings usually shut up by now. The aspirants themselves usually don't.

I wonder if we will get an invitation to the "probate" show.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

I wonder if we will get an invitation to the "probate" show.

Maybe it will be put on youtube and posted on GC.
(I feel a particular way about certain types of videos posted on youtube. In fact, I see no point in youtube unless it involves music and music videos)

On another note, there's a reason why prospective new members don't tell everyone that they are going through the process. When you release information to "outsiders," you can't control where the info ends up. It might end up on GC. People have to think about who they trust and who knows how to shut up.

[Gusteau]

Does "the call" remind anyone else of the mysterious "thing" that pops up in some of the recruitment stories?

Originally Posted by DrPhil

In fact, I see no point in youtube unless it involves music and music videos

Totally agree.

[CDancer20]

Don't get me wrong though, I do appreciate you ladies trying to hint at me to use more discretion, and I will keep that in mind in future post.

All of my posts here past the original question have been in response to questions asked as a way to give someone trying to answer the question a better understanding of the situation without, what I feel, reveals too many details.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by CDancer20

Don't get me wrong though, I do appreciate you ladies trying to hint at me to use more discretion, and I will keep that in mind in future post.

All of my posts here past the original question have been in response to questions asked as a way to give someone trying to answer the question a better understanding of the situation without, what I feel, reveals too many details.

Learn when to SHUT UP!

You are the OP of the thread to which the current responses are being given. And in fact, you put a different spin on what the first OP asked. She specified first generation college students in reference to the fact that the parents would not understand about Greek Life. As far the inferences and implications, remember in whose forum you are. If the orgs weren't relevant to us why not name them?

[CDancer20]

Originally Posted by mccoyred

It seems like she took what was available, regardless...

In some ways, it would seem like that. Yet she says she did research the different groups to see what fit her personality best. Plus she got a chance to know some of the girls that are already in the sorority. That helps when you have someone that you can look up to that shows a great role-model. It IS the ONLY D9 sorority on campus that has never been suspended for hazing in the 20 years they have been on campus. That definitely speaks highly of that chapter by itself.

Originally Posted by ladygreek

Learn when to SHUT UP!

You are the OP of the thread to which the current responses are being given. And in fact, you put a different spin on what the first OP asked. She specified first generation college students in reference to the fact that the parents would not understand about Greek Life. As far nte inferences and implication, remember in whose forum you are. If the orgs weren't relevant to us why not name them?

This is an open website that includes many different sororities/fraternities. It is very possible to just look at posts from the top level all over the sites that are from different sororites/fraternities. This one was at the top of the list since it had a recent post. For instance, I recently looked at a post that was in the Dating area b/c it had a recent time stamp on it. I admitted that my sister is trying to join a D9 but never that my mom was in 1. There are many other sororities including multicultural ones that she could be in. Also even IF she was in a D9, that's 12 different combinations of sororities that could fit the category of my mom and sister, ie no way that anyone could know what sorority I am referring to.

Also I would guess that you are a mature person. Maturity does not include telling another grown person to Shut up! You can ask them to be quiet but you aren't my mom, my boss, no one that has authority over me to tell me to shut up. I will continue to speak my mind until I am deemed completely out of character or banned from the site or feel that I am wrong in the situation. And as far as I can see, I have done nothing to be banned from the site and feel as if you guys are taking this way out of proportion that I over-revealed. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but it doesn't make it right.

With that being said, thank you to anyone who actually TRIED to answer my question. I will be the mature one here and not reply to this thread.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by CDancer20

In some ways, it would seem like that. Yet she says she did research the different groups to see what fit her personality best. Plus she got a chance to know some of the girls that are already in the sorority. That helps when you have someone that you can look up to that shows a great role-model. It IS the ONLY D9 sorority on campus that has never been suspended for hazing in the 20 years they have been on campus. That definitely speaks highly of that chapter by itself.

There is a myriad of reasons this could be, but I won't go into them. I hope they have other qualities that she admires--like stellar service programs, high academics, tight sisterhood.

This is an open website that includes many different sororities/fraternities. It is very possible to just look at posts from the top level all over the sites that are from different sororites/fraternities. This one was at the top of the list since it had a recent post. For instance, I recently looked at a post that was in the Dating area b/c it had a recent time stamp on it. I admitted that my sister is trying to join a D9 but never that my mom was in 1. There are many other sororities including multicultural ones that she could be in. Also even IF she was in a D9, that's 12 different combinations of sororities that could fit the category of my mom and sister, ie no way that anyone could know what sorority I am referring to.

Also I would guess that you are a mature person. Maturity does not include telling another grown person to Shut up! You can ask them to be quiet but you aren't my mom, my boss, no one that has authority over me to tell me to shut up. I will continue to speak my mind until I am deemed completely out of character or banned from the site or feel that I am wrong in the situation. And as far as I can see, I have done nothing to be banned from the site and feel as if you guys are taking this way out of proportion that I over-revealed. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but it doesn't make it right.

With that being said, thank you to anyone who actually TRIED to answer my question. I will be the mature one here and not reply to this thread.

Actually, I didn't tell you to shut up. I told you to LEARN when to shut up. RIF

And now you say you will. My job here is done!

[mccoyred]

Originally Posted by CDancer20

In some ways, it would seem like that. Yet she says she did research the different groups to see what fit her personality best. Plus she got a chance to know some of the girls that are already in the sorority. That helps when you have someone that you can look up to that shows a great role-model. It IS the ONLY D9 sorority on campus that has never been suspended for hazing in the 20 years they have been on campus. That definitely speaks highly of that chapter by itself.

Now you know that I don't condone hazing (well maybe sometimes ) but that is not what you said earlier. You said that it IS the only sorority not suspended for hazing. Which means that it is the only org currently recognized on campus. This leaves a selection pool of ONE VERY choosy. It seems to me like she just wanted to be Greek so I have no sympathy for her.

If mom gets pissed, then so be it; she needs to take it like a woman and GTFOI. If it really is the org for her then why should she dread telling mom? It is what it is!