Why are good men so hard to find? - Page 2

Shelacious · #16 10-15-2001, 02:43 AM

As SoTrue and others mentioned:

Good men ARE out there...the question becomes: what are you really looking for in a man? For instance, if you say you're looking for a "Spiritual, financially secure, intelligent man with no children and never married", then that's ALL you should be looking for when meeting a potential love connection. If you meet a man who meets this initial criteria and then you add "but he doesn't have a sense of humor" or "but he's too heavy-set (or too thin)" then in actuality, you are NOT just looking for a "spiritual, finacially secure, intelligent man with no children and never married" are you?

We all should know what we will find unacceptable in a relationship, what is negotiable and what is a must-have. When you really think this out, and you take your alone time to work on YOU and YOUR baggage and attitude towards men, then you are on target to receive your blessing when he comes. Most often, the good men (the very best ones for you) don't arrive in the package you were expecting--so be prepared!

Yes, there ARE good men out there...I know, cause I have one!

Demon Knight · #17 10-15-2001, 03:56 AM

I couldn't have set it better myself...I would like to consider myself as one of those good men

PrettyKitty · #18 10-16-2001, 04:49 PM

In the words of Common:

Love, your happiness don't begin wit a man
Strong woman, why should you depend on a man
I understand you want a man that's resourceful
If he pay your bills, he feel like he bought you
Talkin to a friend, about what love is
Her man didn't love her, cuz he didn't love his
Hugged her from afar, said what I felt
You never find a man, till you find yourself
Time helps mistakes, you can learn from
Cuz one man fu**ed up men you shouldn't turn from
You want a certain type of guy, gotta reach a certain point too
At the destination, a king will annoint you
Goin through the storm, many bodies stay warm
That relationship died, for you to be born, you worth more
Than anything you could cop in a store
For you to grow he had to go so what you stoppin him for
Not even I could ignore bein alone it's hard
Find heaven in yourself and God

MSTISHA25 · #19 10-16-2001, 06:28 PM

I am involved with a wonderful man and have been for 3 1/2 years. He's loving, caring and most of all Saved. We met at church and he just happens to be a Nupe...but of course, I live in Florida. I'd say don't look for him...let him come to you.

PrettyKitty · #20 10-16-2001, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MSTISHA25
I am involved with a wonderful man and have been for 3 1/2 years. He's loving, caring and most of all Saved. We met at church and he just happens to be a Nupe...but of course, I live in Florida. I'd say don't look for him...let him come to you.

I can't argue with that. God at the center of any relationship gives it that added plus.

lil_sunshine · #21 11-07-2001, 06:51 PM

I don't think it's that they're hard to find. I think it's that women look too hard for them and set such high expectations for what they look for in a man. I understand that we as women want a man who has their stuff together, but we should also. You can't expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself. If you exude a down to earth attitude, and don't act like you're better than the universe, then the right man will come your way. I also think that if you have a male best friend, that would be a good start. That way, you know his familial background and you know what you're dealing with. He can be your shoulder to cry on, but once the tears have dried up and he's still there for you, then that's the best man of all. Besides GOD!!!

Her Dopenezzz · #22 11-08-2001, 01:35 PM

I used to think there weren't any left. But, I was wrong. They are certainly out there.

Finer Woman10-A-91 · #23 11-09-2001, 01:38 AM

Include my daddy and my 3 brothers!!!!! Two of my brothers are single...GOOD MEN!

ShalondaClark · #24 11-12-2001, 06:44 PM

Soror
The problem is most of us are looking for a perfect man, ( he does not exist). I was looking for someone who would like the same things i like someone who had money, job, car, no kids, not living with moma, and the whole nine yards. But when i finally came to my sences i found that he does not exist. When we stop looking that is when a good man will come to us. I found my fiance on my door steps trying to get into my house to put the cable in. I was pregnant so i had to wait until i droped that load to get with this man. I waited and we have been together for 2 year and we are about to get married. Everything i didn't want in a man I had that is why i didn't want him. But it will all ball down to I have the man that i want but not exactly i had to make him that man that i wanted and i wasn't even looking for him.

sorry for the long stroy sorors but i just had to let you all know.

Sisterly'
wendy

discrete1 · #25 11-13-2001, 01:29 PM

I asked myself that question many times before until two years ago. I was at work one day, and I asked an older lady? "Why can't I find someone that is compatible too me"? "Why I am never asked out on a date"? She told me that I was wanting it too much. She told me to be patient and wait, the right man will come along. Two months later it happened. The man of my dreams. He had all the characteristics I was seeking in a man. He made me feel like I was the most beautiful person on the face of the earth. I was head over hills with this man. We became attached so fast that it was scaring me. Well, now it is two years later and we are very much in love with one another. My advice too you is the same advice the older lady at my job had given me. Be patient! Enjoy life! When the time is right it will happen for you as well. Take Care

sphinxpoet · #26 11-13-2001, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ShalondaClark
Soror
The problem is most of us are looking for a perfect man, ( he does not exist). I was looking for someone who would like the same things i like someone who had money, job, car, no kids, not living with moma, and the whole nine yards. But when i finally came to my sences i found that he does not exist. When we stop looking that is when a good man will come to us. I found my fiance on my door steps trying to get into my house to put the cable in. I was pregnant so i had to wait until i droped that load to get with this man. I waited and we have been together for 2 year and we are about to get married. Everything i didn't want in a man I had that is why i didn't want him. But it will all ball down to I have the man that i want but not exactly i had to make him that man that i wanted and i wasn't even looking for him.

sorry for the long stroy sorors but i just had to let you all know.

Sisterly'
wendy

That was beautiful!

OK let us keep it simple...........If you are looking for the perfect man you first must become the perfect woman(and there is no such thing as a perfect woman just as there are no perfect men). Set standards that you yourself can reach ie if you want a man with a job be sure you can get a job yourself if you need to. ie if you want a man with a car be sure you can get a car without a man ie if you wanted to be treated well by a man treat yourself better than any man can treat you! YOu attract what you give off(not every time but a majority of it *groucho in the grabage can all up in your stuff*

I am not perfect.....but the Lord allows me to work to get there.....so it should be with a man......he should not be perfect but working withing himself and whatever god he believes in to get there!

I know this is long but Pretty Kitty says I never come by here

FINALLY THE SPHINXPOET HAS COME BACK TO GREEK CHAT!

PrettyKitty · #27 11-13-2001, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sphinxpoet

I know this is long but Pretty Kitty says I never come by here

FINALLY THE SPHINXPOET HAS COME BACK TO GREEK CHAT!

LOL...actually I did a search...u were on here during halloween...lol...now I won't have to tell your signif. other on u...LOL...j/king...come back more often man!