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  #136  
Old 09-08-2006, 01:44 PM
macallan25 macallan25 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preciousjeni
It's one thing not to be attracted to someone. It's quite another thing to refuse the possibility of an interracial relationship because of social views on race. There is a difference.

Are you trying to say I have a social view that leads me to not want to date outside of my race? That really is entirely not the case at all for me. I am simply not attracted to them.
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  #137  
Old 09-08-2006, 01:47 PM
valkyrie valkyrie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preciousjeni
That's a gut response to appearance (or whatever it may be). What if you were to get to know an arab man (as in your example) and you two became friends? As the relationship progressed, you might become more attracted to him, seeing things you didn't see before. What I'm saying is that it would be a sad thing to refuse this possible relationship simply because your personal social group would disapprove.

I don't deny that we all have preferences (appearance, social class, education, background, etc.) but to refuse a potentially beautiful relationship based on an issue with any of those would be a loss.
Refusing a possible relationship (that you'd actually want to have) because your social group would disapprove means you're letting the judgments of others control your behavior. That's not a race issue -- it's a pussy issue.

I disagree that declining to enter into a relationship with someone based on appearance, social class, education, background, or ANY OTHER reason would be a loss. I'd never date someone I found unattractive, period. You're saying that would be a loss, because I'm refusing a relationship based on an issue with his appearance? Even if that's true (I don't think it is -- it would be more of a loss for me to be unhappy with someone I didn't dig), who cares?
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  #138  
Old 09-08-2006, 01:50 PM
KSigkid KSigkid is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preciousjeni
Just because it's widespread doesn't mean it's good. Genital herpes is pretty prevalent, but it's certainly not pleasant!
So you're comparing not finding someone attractive to genital herpes?
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  #139  
Old 09-08-2006, 01:53 PM
valkyrie valkyrie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KSigkid
So you're comparing not finding someone attractive to genital herpes?
LOL YOU DON'T THINK I'M HOT! HERE IS A LESION!
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  #140  
Old 09-08-2006, 01:56 PM
starang21 starang21 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preciousjeni
Just because it's widespread doesn't mean it's good. Genital herpes is pretty prevalent, but it's certainly not pleasant!
doesn't mean it's bad either. a preference is a preference, nothing more nothing less. i'd hardly equate wanting to date someone who shares the same culture as you to genital herpes.
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  #141  
Old 09-08-2006, 02:00 PM
preciousjeni preciousjeni is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by macallan25
Are you trying to say I have a social view that leads me to not want to date outside of my race? That really is entirely not the case at all for me. I am simply not attracted to them.
Maybe I'm just picking up something that isn't there. It's hard to get the full effect when I'm just reading. I went back to figure out why I put together this image of you. Here's what I found:

Quote:
Looking down upon interracial dating doesn't make you a racist. Many people are brought up with the notion that it isn't proper.......and there is nothing wrong with that.
Quote:
PreciousJeni - I'm sorry that the fact that I was raised thinking that marrying within your own race is proper and respectable disgusts you. There are many things that disgust me.......that are far worse than this.
Quote:
I am talking about the wishes of my family considering things such as where we live, where I will more than likely live, our social setting, etc.
The things you've said seem to be less about attraction and more about society.

Quote:
Originally posted by KSigkid
So you're comparing not finding someone attractive to genital herpes?
Oh hush now! You know what I mean. Just because something is widespread doesn't make it good. That's all I'm saying.
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  #142  
Old 09-08-2006, 02:04 PM
preciousjeni preciousjeni is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starang21
doesn't mean it's bad either. a preference is a preference, nothing more nothing less. i'd hardly equate wanting to date someone who shares the same culture as you to genital herpes.
You stop too. Y'all know what I'm saying. He went about justifying the attitude by saying that it happens in other cultures. How many people have to align with a belief or attitude for us to say it's good or even just ok? My point is that saying "they do it too" isn't a strong enough reason.
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  #143  
Old 09-08-2006, 02:23 PM
KSig RC KSig RC is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preciousjeni
You stop too. Y'all know what I'm saying. He went about justifying the attitude by saying that it happens in other cultures. How many people have to align with a belief or attitude for us to say it's good or even just ok? My point is that saying "they do it too" isn't a strong enough reason.
No one said anything similar to this. You're really doing poorly in this thread - spouting truisms doesn't make for good discussion, especially when they're railing against something no one is claiming.

Plus, who has to 'justify' an attitude? I thought this was a social ill?

Here, let me put it more plainly:

It seems specious to declare this a social issue, when it happens within and across all races. This would tend to make me believe it's generally an attraction thing, and not, for instance, a "white people yay, black people boo!" thing.
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  #144  
Old 09-08-2006, 02:36 PM
macallan25 macallan25 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preciousjeni
Maybe I'm just picking up something that isn't there. It's hard to get the full effect when I'm just reading. I went back to figure out why I put together this image of you. Here's what I found:







The things you've said seem to be less about attraction and more about society.

Oh hush now! You know what I mean. Just because something is widespread doesn't make it good. That's all I'm saying.

I can assure you whoever I marry I will definitely have a strong attraction towards them. I can see though how you can come to your conclusions from my posts. However, in my social setting and where I grew up....the cultural/societal differences between white and black were quite large and very different....so that does have something to do with it as I do have an idea in mind about what kind of person I would like to be with. The fact that I am attracted more towards white women only adds to it.

I still don't see much wrong with wanting to marry or date based on some societal factors, especially if other attraction preferences play into the factor.
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  #145  
Old 09-08-2006, 06:19 PM
AKA_Monet AKA_Monet is offline
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Macallan25,

Sorry, but you did walk into this comment from me...

YOU AIN'T GOT THE DICK-STRENGTH TO EVEN HANDLE A SISTAH!

That's why you say you are not attracted to a Black Woman. But I bet you, if Beyonce was calling you everyday, you'd drop everything you would be doing to be with homegirl. Just like Dave Chappelle was with his Oprah episode on the Chappelle Show...

Dude, you know I am joking... But seriously, we all know you cannot fathom "crossing the street" and go marry someone outside your ethnic cultural heritage, because your marriage is probably already "pre-arranged" anyway... So basically, your choice in a mate(s) is/are extremely limited. Besides you will be required to be hitched no later than 25-27 years old and a kid popped out by the time you are 30.

But, the irony of most of these comments are you can think all you want about relationships and marriage, but you will NEVER know who you marry until you sign that marriage license... Sometimes it works out, most times it doesn't. What does that say about our state of marriages in the United States in general? Then some folks are dying to legally recognized marriages--but that is a whole-different discussion.

For now, we are dealing with young people--and if you are under the age of 35 years old, you are young--'cuz I'm old... Y'all's mentality is just dating...

The question is are you dating to have fun? Or are you dating to court? Depending your answer, either way, you best know who you are and what you are about because you can avoid some problems in the future. I think that race, ethnicity, heritage, religion, and creed are bullshit-assed reasons for dating exclusion. But that's my opinion and I'm entitled to it.
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  #146  
Old 09-08-2006, 07:38 PM
shinerbock shinerbock is offline
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I doubt he's that limited, if he's like most of us, he's merely limited to southern pearl-wearing sorority girls from wealthy families. There a lot of them.
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  #147  
Old 09-08-2006, 07:38 PM
macallan25 macallan25 is offline
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Yep, my marriage is pre arranged. My family also still observes bride prices and dowerys.

Right now i'm dating to have fun. If the oppurtunity arises to date exclusively, then thats great. You are entitled to your own opinion, I never said you weren't.....and I am entitled to date whomever fits my personal preferences. I don't think I ever gave those reasons for whom I chose to date.......I said who I was attracted to and who I would want to date.
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  #148  
Old 09-08-2006, 07:59 PM
AKA_Monet AKA_Monet is offline
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^^^Boys, my last few statements were not just limited you all. Sorry if I was unclear...
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  #149  
Old 09-08-2006, 08:47 PM
AlphaFrog AlphaFrog is offline
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Interracial relationships aren't for everyone. I married a Hispanic, but do I think less of someone who would choose not to, for whatever reason? No. It's their personal preferance. Marriage is hard enough without complicating it with other issues.
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  #150  
Old 09-08-2006, 09:50 PM
preciousjeni preciousjeni is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_Monet
I think that race, ethnicity, heritage, religion, and creed are bullshit-assed reasons for dating exclusion. But that's my opinion and I'm entitled to it.
I see you, girl...
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