Would you marry someone in the military?

Taualumna · #1 12-16-2004, 04:10 PM

I'm not sure. I'd like to hold a permanent job (at least until I have children), and military families move around a lot. I don't want to have to give up my career for my husband.

amanda6035 · #2 10-16-2006, 12:04 AM

I didnt read the whole thread yet - but not a chance in hell. As a veteran myself and knowing what I know (as the OP asked) no effen way. Hence the reason why my sailor right now (who is on deployment right now, coming home in just a few more weeks) is getting out prior to us getting married next October. His DD214 (separation papers that say he's officially a civilian- for those of you who dont know)is gonna be my snot rag at the wedding.

I'm not gonna have to explain to my kids why Daddy couldnt come to the baseball game or ballet recital. I'm not gonna pop out babies while he's playing cops and robbers overseas. For the women who can do it - good on you, I'm nt near as straong as you are. I've been on two deployments myself and the past 5.5 months (He left on May 2nd) has been the worst thing I've ever had to go through -worse than me being on deployment myself. No way could I do this for the next 10-20 years. I give major props to our service men and women....but the navy is not family oriented enough for me to feel comfortable being second best priority due to the fact that when you're military, the military HAS to be your number 1 priority. Thanks but no thanks, I gotta be number one. I cant speak for other branches of the service. Sailors belong as Sea. Being at sea means being away from the family. Sorry, no can do.

amanda6035 · #3 10-16-2006, 12:09 AM

And for those who keep saying "hot in uniform" comments.....um, there are some pretty ugly dudes in the military. Taken em out of uniform and see them in normal every day streetwear and they arent that hot. Uniforms are hot simply because they are uniforms.

DSTCHAOS · #4 10-16-2006, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amanda6035

And for those who keep saying "hot in uniform" comments.....um, there are some pretty ugly dudes in the military. Taken em out of uniform and see them in normal every day streetwear and they arent that hot.

Very true.

KillarneyRose · #5 10-17-2006, 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amanda6035

And for those who keep saying "hot in uniform" comments.....um, there are some pretty ugly dudes in the military. Taken em out of uniform and see them in normal every day streetwear and they arent that hot. Uniforms are hot simply because they are uniforms.

LOL, reminds me of when I first moved to Virginia Beach and then-fiance Mr. KR and I were hanging out with some friends at the officers club at NAS Oceana (the big jet base on the east coast). I was bummed beyond belief that none of the guys walking around in flight suits looked like Maverick or Iceman. Not even a little bit.

kddani · #6 10-17-2006, 07:31 AM

I thought about it for awhile when I had serious feelings for a guy in the Navy (KR remembers that!).

But it just doesn't jive with my profession, and someone else whose job required them to move frequently also would not work. I happen to be of a profession where you have to go through a lengthy and expensive process to get licensed in different states.

I also have the same feelings about what is required in a relationship like DSTChaos talked about. I know I couldn't deal with that person gone to another country fighting with guns, etc. Hell, I worry like crazy when my boyfriend (a volunteer firefighter) gets a call, even though that's much safer than active duty in a warzone.

For those of you who can handle it, great. For those of us who can't, I think it's much better to realize the kind of person we are and what we require in order to live semi-happily than to try to force something to work.

BSPTXChicaTC · #7 10-17-2006, 08:07 AM

My husband is currently in the Air Force, and has been since we have been dating since 2002. We recently got married in December 2005.

While it is hard at times to be a military wife, I wouldn't trade him for the world. However, the AF is not what makes him who he is - it is his job. It can be dangerous at times, but so can so many other professions.

Basically some people can handle it, some people can't - it's as simple as that.

I am not going to go back through this whole thread & read all the posts, but I do welcome any questions anyone may have for me.

scbelle · #8 10-17-2006, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KillarneyRose

LOL, reminds me of when I first moved to Virginia Beach and then-fiance Mr. KR and I were hanging out with some friends at the officers club at NAS Oceana (the big jet base on the east coast). I was bummed beyond belief that none of the guys walking around in flight suits looked like Maverick or Iceman. Not even a little bit.

LOL. My boss thinks I'm a total nut job because I just started snorting and chortling over this comment. It made my day!

APhi Sailorgirl · #9 10-18-2006, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KillarneyRose

LOL, reminds me of when I first moved to Virginia Beach and then-fiance Mr. KR and I were hanging out with some friends at the officers club at NAS Oceana (the big jet base on the east coast). I was bummed beyond belief that none of the guys walking around in flight suits looked like Maverick or Iceman. Not even a little bit.

So true!! I work at the base here in DC and we had an event and showed "Top Gun" and one of the officers from the Ceremonial Guard showed up in his old flight suit. All of my female co-workers were like, where's the hot pilots like in the movie?

Although down at Pax River where there actually are planes, there are occaisionally some hotties in the flight suits. I wish I got to go there more

.

texas*princess · #10 10-21-2006, 01:53 PM

Almost exactly a year ago, one of my best friends married her bf of a few years. He is in the Marines.

They got married during one of this breaks, and then he got deployed. He's currently somewhere north (Carolinas maybe?) because that's where he's currently stationed.

If I were her, I wouldn't think of that as much of a marriage. I mean, she's seen him maybe only a few days since they were married.

Granted, she could move up there with him, but right now for whatever reason she doesn't want to move arund until they know for sure where he'll be so she doesn't have to keep bouncing around.

So IMHO, that makes me wonder why they even got married in the first place, but I'm sure she had her reasons as he was about to be deployed to Iraq.

alum · #11 10-21-2006, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KillarneyRose

LOL, reminds me of when I first moved to Virginia Beach and then-fiance Mr. KR and I were hanging out with some friends at the officers club at NAS Oceana (the big jet base on the east coast). I was bummed beyond belief that none of the guys walking around in flight suits looked like Maverick or Iceman. Not even a little bit.

And on that note, there's a big difference between cadets in full dress vs. 2LTs in BDUs!

KunjaPrincess · #12 10-25-2006, 12:59 PM

Would I marry someone in the military?

Of course, I did. In fact we were both active duty when we got married.
We've been married 6 years and this year was the first anniversary ever that we got to spend together with nothing military going on.

He's now a civilian but I am still in the National Guard and don't envision getting out anytime soon. He knows the deal, knows I may get deployed again and is Ok with it. That's why we have a strong support group in place for the lil ones.

However, if I was never in the military I don't know that I would have been able to really understand all the trials and tribulations of deployments and late nights. That really did help.

KSUViolet06 · #13 05-26-2008, 01:15 AM

Yes I bumped an old thread.

I've dated some military men in my life, and knowing what I know I'm not exactly sure that I would marry one.

I don't think I would mind if the guy had a more stationary position within the military (i.e. recruiting something) or if he was higher ranked (I'm an "officer" kind of girl).

It would also depend on the number of years of active duty he has left. I can do a deployment if you know it's going to be your last one, but not if you have x more years of active duty left and who knows how many deployments.