I have a cousin, who's 8 That we have secretly named the one most likely to sport a prison uniform because she likes to steal. She came to my apt. and sat in the bathroom and ate a whole bag of strawberry flavored Hall's Vitamin C drops. She thought they were candy. Why would I hide candy in the medicine cabinet? She also stole my grape flavored lipstick and a few other things. Now when I hug her goodbye, I also do a secret frisk and pat down. Her sister is an Oscar winner in the making because she is a true drama Queen. I told her a few weeks ago if she came to this weekend's barbecue with an attitude, I was gonna set her straight. She behaved, but ninety minutes into the picnic, she grabs her stomach, screams and bust out in a shower of tears. She said the hot links were too hot. Duh, they're called hot links.
But the person who steals the show is my older cousin who talks back to you in lines from old movies. It goes something like this:
Me:Good morning, how are you?
Cousin: I love the smell of Napalm in the morning
Me:Would you like some more beans?
Cousin: You trying to help Ike?
One time he told his son in front of his new girlfriend " How does it feel to be me?" BTW Tony, that's from the five heartbeats
Needless to say we don't invite him to many outings.
Drunk Uncle...Yeah Baby, Yeah!
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